


Be Strong

by atiatia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anya Lives, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Finn Collins Being an Asshole, Fluff and Smut, Grounder Bellamy Blake, Grounder Octavia Blake, King Bellamy Blake, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Princess Clarke, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Trigedasleng
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-05-26 09:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 90,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14998241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atiatia/pseuds/atiatia
Summary: “What did the commander mean when she said 'through bond of blood'? What does that mean?” Clarke asked.“Uh…” She seemed like she wasn’t too sure if she should be saying anything, but she did after a second. “A bond of blood, in our culture, means something that can’t be broken once solidified. It’s a way to join two groups of people into one without leaving room for question…” She seemed like she was done talking but a small smile decorated her face and Clarke didn’t know what it meant. Octavia rolled her eyes somewhat playfully. “My big brother will always take on newcomers, but the intrigue of the infamous Skaikru has him looking for something a little more… sure.”Based on The 100.Bellamy and Octavia are grounders.Some things in the beginning are different than the show, deal with it.Raven didn't get shot!





	1. Be Strong

**Author's Note:**

> This Is my first time writing really anything, so hopefully you enjoy. And if you don't... maybe next time.

 

 

-  
_Chapter 1 – Be Strong_

 

 

Clarke starred into her father’s eyes in disbelief.

“Dad?” she half whispered through tears that started to blur her vision and sting her eyes. She ferociously wiped them from her face and blinked a couple times, staring in front of her.

It was him. Her father. He smiled with a chuckle as he reached out to pull her close to him for a hug.

“Hey kiddo.” He said casually with a smile still on his face.

Clarke realized her arms were still half raised by her sides in disbelief when she finally snapped out of it and quickly wrapped her arms around him starting to sob.

“Hey, its ok kiddo.” He comforted.

His arms went to her shoulders and he pushed her away lightly, keeping his hands cupping her shoulders, staring right into her eyes as if he was studying her.

She smiled through her sobs, still blinking away tears.

“Dad what are you doing here?! I-I saw you… you…”

“Clarke…”

“Y-you were floated…” She broke on the last word and went to hug him again.

“I’m right here kiddo. But listen to me…” he said sternly as he pulled her away once more, hands over her shoulders again.

Clarke wanted to ignore the way he was talking, as if he was only here for a short moment with slight urgency in his voice. She just wanted to forget what her brain was telling her – that he wasn’t really there- and just be happy, and think about all the good memories from her childhood where he was always there… before the ark died… before everything went to shit.

She felt anger burn through her.

“Mom turned you in.” She stated as she started to stand firmly and clench her teeth.

“Clarke, you cant hold resentment in your heart.” He said calmly. Too calmly… almost peacefully.

“No, you don’t understand-“ She began, bewildered.

“Shhhh, kiddo, listen to me.” He said in that eerily peaceful voice. “I need you to remember, that your mom did what she needed to… and that’s worth forgiving-”

“No, she didn’t. She betrayed you!” She spoke so forcefully she had to close her eyes and remind herself to breath. When she did she felt her fathers hands on both sides of her face. She opened her eyes in frustration. He didn’t understand, he didn’t know the awful things her mother had done that resulted in his death.

She found him looking at her with eyes so serious and forceful, it had changed in an instant. Any trace of peace gone.

“Forgiveness isn’t about what people deserve.” He stared into her soul for a minute, then the hard lines on his face relaxed and he looked at her with adoration in his eyes. She relaxed and felt like she’d been defeated. His words sunk in despite how hard she wanted to fight them. She was exhausted, emotionally, and she didn’t want to fight with her dad. He pulled his mouth up at the corner while he continued to stare at his daughter.

“You get that stubborn streak from your mother you know… one of the things I love about both of you.” She sighed in half frustration and half acceptance as she looked at him again to find his smile fading and the force and seriousness back in his eyes and on his face.

 “You will come together. As a people.” He stated matter-of-factly before he continued with a little more desperation and passion in his voice. “I’m telling you this, because I want a future for you.”

 _What?_ She thought. She inhaled and wanted to say something, anything, but she was cut off when he took her hand and took a step back from her. She started to breath heavily in panic; she wanted to scream at him not to leave her and to stay, to come back. All she could do was stare at him in desperation. He looked at her and smiled.

 

“ _Be Strong_.”

 

She gasped and opened her eyes to the bitter cold of the dark night. She was still breathing heavily.  She felt something warm fall down her face and she whipped her hand up to brush her tears away out of anger. _Earth._ She thought with bitter resentment. Turns out it wasn’t exactly what she had imagined. She spent her childhood drawing nothing but what she imagined earth to look like. Waterfalls, trees, mountains… she rolled her eyes and sat up in her bed, burying her face in her palms. She stayed like that for a minute before pulling her head up and looking around her tent, for what, she didn’t know. An answer maybe… _Maybe I’m finally breaking._ She thought. Then something inside her head took her back to only a few moments ago, in her sleep. _Be strong._

She pulled herself together and stood up. Maybe her father was on to something. Maybe she was that stubborn… but she didn’t feel strong. She felt like she was one string away from falling into madness ever since she had been put in solitary on the ark, and once the dropship hit the ground… well every day since then was hell. Clarke had found herself in a leadership position ever since she told the 100 delinquents the reason they had been sent to the ground, and the truth about the ark. They looked to her and counted on her strong earth skills knowledge to get through the days. And when kids died from spears or arrows or acid fog every time they went out to search for Mount Weather, she was the one to take care of it and to take on the roll as camp doctor. Her mother had been a doctor on the ark so she knew quite a bit more than the rest of them. But she had already failed. There were only 50 delinquents left out of the 100 including Raven and Clarke after the grounders had attacked and she had been forced to leave some outside, still fighting, while she closed the dropship door and imagined all the lives that were being burned into nothing more than ash, just feet from where she stood.

 

She heard a noise outside, someone walking by, and she snapped her head up and out of her thoughts. She wasn’t sure how long she’d stood there in the middle of her tent thinking about all the lives she was responsible for killing, and all the ones she felt responsible for keeping alive now, but she sniffed and gave her tear stained cheeks one last wipe before whipping on her jacket and ducking out of her tent into the cold night.

The camp was somewhat lively for it being the middle of the night, someone was starting to build a fire and there were a couple people running to the boarder of the new wall they had started to build after the ring of fire. She felt a nasty feeling creep into her as she started wondering what was going on.

“Clarke!”

She snapped her head to the side to see Miller running towards her. He had become like a leader in the camp too. After helping to initiate the build of the first wall, finding the bunker and the guns, and dealing with delinquents who felt they could step out of line, she felt that she could trust him.

“Miller, what’s going on?” she asked, fully worried now. He was a little out of breath when he approached her and the look on his face was not reassuring of anything.

“Clarke, you gotta come now. The night patrol spotted torches in the distance. It’s the grounders.” He gestured her to follow him as he started running to the wall. She ran after him and once to the wall she looked out.

“Damnit.” She breathed. She felt her blood go cold and then hot and then cold again, almost in tune to how the crowd of torches held by grounders were bobbing slightly in the air miles in the distance. They were coming closer.

“We knew they were going to retaliate, but what do we do?” he looked at Clarke. Miller didn’t let any of the desperation in his voice cower while more of their people started crowding behind them, watching their impending doom march closer and closer to the remains of their camp.

     “I don’t know.” She started to rack her brain, going through the same failing options she had gone over this whole week since the ring of fire. There were no options.

Jasper came out from the crowd and towards Clarke. “Don’t we have anything?! More rocket fuel?”

Clarke opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by the voice behind her.

“No. There’s nothing left. We knew when we set fire to those rockets that it was our only option. And that means _now_ … we’re out of options.” Raven said blandly. Finn stood beside her and glared at Clarke as if this was her fault. “So what…” Finn barked. “We just sit here until the grounder army gets here and let them kill us?” Clarke shot a glare as cold as ice at him and it seemed to shut him up. He seemed like a different person now then before Raven came down.

It was Monty who spoke next, softly. “So we leave then. Go find another place, a fresh start.” Clarke looked at him with a broken smile even though her brow was still furrowed and the crease between them deep as she tried to reason calmly to her friend.

“Monty, look at how many there are. They’re not fools. They know we’ll try to run. They probably have scouts surrounding our camp right now who will kill us if we try to go anywhere, same as before. Plus, there is no safety assured even if we did make it somewhere else. If they’ve sent an army for us now that means there’s hundreds, maybe more, others all over who know about us, waiting for us to show our faces so they can wipe us out.” Monty’s hopefulness vanished from his face.

Finn shook is head. “This can’t be happening.” He spoke barely above a whisper. Clarke found anger rising inside of her at hearing his voice again and she couldn’t even make herself look at him.

She turned to Raven instead. “Still no contact with the Ark?” she questioned.

“It’s total radio silence.”  Raven whispered in defeat. “No one is coming to save us, and we don’t have enough bullets to take out a grounder army no matter how many I split in half.” She said this with more conviction.

Clarke looked away from Raven and out towards the wall, not wanting anyone to see how defeated she looked. They knew they’d used their last upper hand and now… now there was nothing to be done. And that knowledge quietly spread to her people as everyone fell silent and looked out into the night at the torches. Red-hot flowers in the distance, growing ever closer to them.

Their fate seemed to have sealed itself; no amount of strength would help them now.


	2. Die all, Die merrily

-  
Chapter 2 – Die all, Die merrily

 

No one slept that night. The few that had remained asleep before were woken up and filled in on their impending doom.   
It had been Murphy’s idea to do a last ceremony of types. And although Clarke didn’t exactly trust him she couldn’t deny that somehow, it seemed fitting.   
They all gathered around the fire. Some cuddling and holding hands, some sitting alone like Clarke in the cold dirt and ash that had once been grass and moss. Finn had tried to sit with her but the look she gave him when he approached her seemed to scare him off, so he sat with Raven instead.   
Murphy’s idea consisted of taking the remainder of the bracelets off. As far as everyone knew or believed, the ark was dead and so was everyone on it… a lifeless coffin in the sky. Taking the bracelets off would distance them from the sky and let them mourn in their remaining hours the loss of their families and friends. It made them not Arkadian’s but the 100. It made them what they were, cast outs, kids, survivors. At least, that is, until the grounder army got there to kill them all.   
Clarke and most of the other delinquents already had taken them off, but there were a few who hadn’t, and when they did short cheers erupted through the small crowd. Clarke had taken hers off weeks ago to make her mom feel pain… and now, she was sure her mom felt nothing, along with the rest of the Ark. She wanted to feel guilt at that thought, but all she felt was numb. 

They figured they had till dawn. Monty and Jasper went into the dropship to get their moonshine that was left over from Unity Day. (Ever since the ring of fire, everyone tended to steer clear of the ship) They brought it outside and everyone seemed to loosen up a little and start talking quietly amongst them selves. Clarke stayed quiet and observed her people with a face of stone. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d failed every one of them. But as she looked at their faces their voices, though still quiet, grew a little louder… she felt pride in them. They had done so much since landing on the ground and although they’d lost so many it seemed as if they never truly lost hope that they’d somehow come to live a better life one day, and all the loss wouldn’t be for nothing.   
Clarke was still watching them when she felt a lump in her throat. A few faces were even smiling, and some of the couples who’d been cuddling not so slyly sneaked away to their tents to get the most out of their remaining hours she supposed. She looked over to the dark empty tower that was the dropship and thought for a moment that they were lucky they had packed the tarps they used as tents up before the attack and that someone in their immediate rush back to the dropship had brought them inside. She never wanted to step foot in that dropship again, so the fact that they had tents was a relief.   
She looked down in shame at how stupid she felt. Here she was thinking about tents while an army of grounders marched closer and closer to end them.  
She didn’t know for how long she sat there staring at the dirt, or maybe someone’s ashes, she didn’t know. It seemed like forever had passed when she saw boots walk up to her and when she looked up she was relived to see it was Raven and not Finn.   
“Hey”   
“Hey” Clarke half smiled for a brief moment at her friend before she came to sit beside her, bumping her shoulder with hers.  
“You know… when I came down here, I wasn’t sure what to expect from a group of juvenile delinquents. Wasn’t sure what state I’d find you in or if I’d even find you at all.”  
Clarke looked up at her questioningly, meeting her eyes and wondering where she was going with this.  
“But you found me, and I didn’t know what to think about you at first… but Clarke none of us would have made it this far without you. We needed you.” She was pushing her point but all Clarke could see was the faces of those already lost, because of her.  
She took a deep uneven breath.   
“Tell that to the 50 who are dead.” She whispered as she glanced down to her boots.   
Raven didn’t reply, she just reached over to take Clarkes hand in her own briefly and gave it a squeeze. Clarke looked up to meet Ravens eyes and they gave each other a comforting half smile.   
Clarke looked around and up at the sky. It was getting lighter now and kids who had been in their tents were all coming out to sit with the group. Miller walked up to her and starred at her intensely.   
“They’re about a mile off. What’s our strategy when they get here?”   
Clarke stood up and walked more to the centre of the crowd where the fire was nothing more than rising smoke now. She looked around at the 50… most with fear plastered on their faces, and some who looked oddly relaxed… defeated was probably the right word. She briefly wondered what her own face looked like but she couldn’t focus on that right now. She’d been thinking about what to do once the grounder army reached them for hours now and there was really only one option that might give them a small hope of a quick death, at the very least.   
She spoke loud for everyone to hear. “We sit, in order. I’ll be at the front and try to tell them that we’re surrendering.” She looked to miller, and gave him a chance to speak but she was only met with a face of stone and a small nod in return.   
“We did good here. And although our options have run out, we need to continue to be strong. If not for ourselves, then for everyone we’ve lost. In the sky and on the ground.” She didn’t quite know if she believed her own words, but she thought it was what they needed to hear. And they needed to be unified as a people.   
Miller stepped into the middle with Clarke. “She’s right. They’ll be here soon and when they are we need to be showing no threat. Leave your weapons by the dropship and lets get in line.” He spoke loud and firmly. The crowd started shuffling around and speaking to each other, probably saying their last goodbyes. Miller reached down beside him and grabbed a cup that still had some moonshine in it and stepped towards Clarke. He looked at the gate towards the army and then back at her as he tilted his head up and downed the contents of the cup. He finished with a silent ‘Ahh’ that sounded more like a growl and threw the cup to the side of the fire, along with a dagger he pulled from his pants pocket. He looked at her again before he spoke.   
“Die all, Die merrily.”   
He walked off to go sit in a line on the ground with the others who were starting to line up and sink to the earth as well.   
She felt a slight sting in her eyes that she wouldn’t let touch her cheeks. Be strong. She thought. She took a large breath and turned to face the crowd of grounders she could see not even half a mile away approaching their camp. She thought about Shakespeare and the irony… doomsday is near. When she spoke again it was to herself as she repeated,  
“Die all, Die merrily.”


	3. Skairipa

-  
Chapter 3 – Skairipa

 

It was probably only 10 minutes that had passed but getting everyone to kneel in 2 rows and calm them selves seemed like it was taking forever. And yet, at the same time, it seemed like it was impossibly rushed before Clarke was kneeling in front of the others and came face to face with a grounder. It was quieter than she thought… she had assumed they’d come running in swords drawn and start slaughtering before Clarke could have a chance to say anything but that wasn’t the case. And her people were as quiet as rocks. She figured most of them were barely breathing let alone in a position to talk or make noise. They had walked up slowly to their camp with only a few comments from certain grounders in a language Clarke didn’t understand.  
Clarke lifted her bowed head and looked up to meet the one who was in front of the army, their leader.  
She was thin but muscular. She had long brown hair and had black war paint smeared on her face and around her eyes. Clarke was almost shocked at how beautiful and powerful she looked. But she also looked like she was deadly, a warrior through and through.  
The woman came down to her level, landing on one knee and putting her arm, dagger drawn, resting on her other one. Her face was mere inches away from Clarkes.  
She wanted to speak, to tell them that they were surrendering but she found it hard to open her mouth, her breath caught in her throat.  
There were two large men with the same black face paint that were standing closely behind the woman and the rest of the army fell completely silent.

“Skaikru heda.” _Sky people commander_. One of the men spoke quietly but sternly, raising his arm and pointing at Clarke.  
“ _Chit ste disha_?!”  What is this?! The other man behind her shouted loudly at their leader. Clarke had no idea what their language was, the one grounder they had ever come into contact with never talked to them, and had managed to break from their ship in the middle of the night and not get caught before they ever found out anything useful.  
Again, Clarke tried to open her mouth to speak but couldn’t. She didn’t even know if they would understand her.  
The woman, still kneeling in front of Clarke smiled wryly and cocked her head to the side, still keeping unrelenting eye contact with Clarke.  
“ _Emo laik set daun_.”  They are surrendering. She spoke firmly, still smiling a terrifying smile. Although Clarke knew the woman was speaking to the grounder behind her, she couldn’t help but feel like whatever she had said was meant for her. Clarke felt something hot and cold run through her veins and suddenly she felt an energy that she hadn’t had since the ring of fire. Fight or flight, a survivor’s instinct, adrenaline… whatever you wanted to call it, Clarke felt no fear anymore. If she was going to die then so be it, but she was not afraid at the threat in the tone the woman in front of her carried.  
When Clarke finally spoke there was a fire in her eyes and her voice.  
“We are surrendering. We cannot fight you anymore.” It took everything in Clarke not to speak through clenched teeth, but she did it. She kept brutal eye contact with the grounder leader, fire still burning in her eyes.  
The grounder woman’s smile did not fade, in fact it grew larger when she reached out to grab Clarke by the collar of her jacket and pulled her up to stand with her in one swift movement. Clarke felt the woman’s blade touch her neck and gasped at the altercation. Behind her people started to grow restless at seeing this, but they kept mostly silent which was good.  
“ _Branwada skai gada._ ” Worthless sky girl. The woman spat. Her smile faded into a thin line, a hostile feature and this time she spoke in English. “You say you can’t fight, and yet there is nothing but fight in your eyes, _Skairipa_.”  
Clarke was shocked to hear the grounder speak perfect English. It wasn’t broken at all. A strange relief flooded through her, but she kept her face composed.  
Clarke angled her chin up to the woman, pushing her neck into the knife that was still to her throat, and didn’t relent any of the hate she felt poring through her gaze. Maybe I am crazy. She wondered.  
“All I want is for my people to survive.” Clarke whispered through clenched teeth.  
The woman starred at her for what seemed like a full 5 minutes before pulling the dagger away from her neck. Clarke was a little stunned at this, but she took it as a small victory and followed the woman’s gaze as she turned her head to the side and spoke to the man behind her.  
“Teik em en tai op emo meika.”  Take them and tie their hands. She said before returning her gaze to Clarke.  
“ _Tai op emo meika!_ ” Tie their hands! The man she had just spoken to roared out, and suddenly there was movement. The grounders at the front line of the army all moved towards the kids and started to pull them up to their feet, tying their hands behind their back. Her people began to make noises of complaint, pain and fear. Clarke jerked a little in the grounder leaders grip, but she continued to hold her in place and burn daggers into her eyes.  
“What are you doing?!” she demanded. The Grounder woman’s wry smile bled back onto her face for a small second and then turned back to its stone features. The man who was standing behind her came behind Clarke and pulled her hands behind her back. She felt a cloth tie sharply against the skin of her wrists. The man moved back behind the woman again and she finally released the collar of Clarke’s jacket, pushing her back at the same time Clarke jerked away from her.  
“You are lucky for now, Skairipa,” She spat. “The commander wants to meet the people who fell from the sky, and their heda who burned 300 warriors alive in a ring of fire.” Her face melted into a hateful frown. “Including my father.”  
Clarke knew these people were awful, but still, inside her heart she felt a pain for this woman. She knew what it was like to lose her father and she hated the people who had part in his death. She knew that this grounder felt no different towards her.  
The grounder woman backed up from Clarke and left her eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever. She looked out at the delinquents and everyone fell silent.  
“My name is Anya. Our commander has chosen to show mercy on you, for now, and wants to meet Skaikru.” She looked back to Clarke but continued to speak loudly to the entire group.  
“If you so much as step out of line on our journey to Polis, you will be met by our blades.” The threat sat steady in the air while it resonated with each of the kids.  
“We leave now. _Lid in ai gapa_.”  Bring my horse. She yelled out.  
The man behind her nodded as she turned around and started to walk back to the army. They started to part and Clarke saw horses being led between the people. Horses... she thought in bewilderment. Clarkes father had told her stories and read books but they were beyond beautiful, and huge creatures. Most of them were black but she saw a few dark brown ones too. Anya pulled herself onto her horse easily and the 2 men that seemed to always fallow her grabbed their horses and did the same. Clarke saw a group of scouts leave and start to run ahead of the group, disappearing into the trees.  
Anya turned her horse toward Clarke and called out, “Listen carefully, Skairipa. If you want to see you and your people alive by the end of this, then you’ll be wise and tell them to follow my orders. I will not be forgiving and neither will my people, I can promise you that.” She spoke coldly.  
Clarke nodded in understanding and turned towards her people giving strict eye contact with a few she thought could do something especially stupid. Murphy and Finn among them.  
“Listen to her. I don’t want to see any more of you dead.” She spat the last word in a demanding tone.  
She felt like she could laugh at the ridiculousness of her own words. They were already dead… It was just a matter of time.  
There was a group of smaller built people who ran off first, disappearing into the woods. They must have been the scouts trailing ahead making sure the way was safe for the army. One by one they lined up. Clarke took the front of the line and before turning to walk out of their camp for what was hopefully the last time, she glanced at Miller who was standing a few feet away and they gave each other a silent nod. She saw Finn push Raven to the front of the line behind Clarke and he was right behind her. She glanced at him briefly and when it looked like he was about to start protesting what was happening she turned her attention to Raven, unable to deal with Finn right now.  
“No matter what happens Raven; we need to be strong.” Clarke whispered, barely loud enough for anyone else to hear.  
“Do you still have hope?” Raven whispered back, concern blanketing her face.  
Clarke glanced behind Raven at the dropship for only a second before returning her gaze to her friend.  
“We’re still breathing.” Clarke sighed. Raven gave her a supportive nod and tilted her chin up, any trace of insecurity gone. She probably looked stronger than Clarke did right now, so she took a deep breath and turned to face the gate.  
Clarke looked at the man on the horse who was starring at her; it looked like he was waiting for her to be ready. She gave him a nod and walked forward, Raven and the rest following closely behind one another. The man turned his horse and headed for the forest while his voice boomed off the trees and the rest of the army fallowed.  
“ _Zo sta gon we, hoz op!_ ” We’re moving out, lets go!


	4. In peace may you leave the shore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little longer, ill try and make all the chapters longer from here on out.  
> Thank you for the interest in my story! :)

_Chapter 4 – In peace may you leave the shore_

 

 

 

They had been walking for what Clarke was assuming to be about 15 hours with only minor breaks, and the most relaxing part being when they had to walk through a shallow river for a while. But they hadn’t even been able to feed themselves water because their hands were still tightly bound. She was pretty sure her wrists were starting to bleed behind her from the tied restraints.

Clarke glanced over her shoulder to look at the group and they looked like they were about to pass out from exhaustion. They had only given them water once and it wasn’t a lot to go off of. The grounders, to be honest, looked just about as tired. They had eaten once or twice and drank more water, but they looked pretty run down.

They came up to a small lake as they walked over a hill. The terrain was getting a little flatter and it wasn’t as much forest now, although there was still a group of trees to the left of it. It was beautiful. Looking up to the sky she saw that it was changing from light blue to a mix of incredibly vivid colours that were starting to look painted across the light canvas as the sun set behind the clouds. While people slowed down at the top of the hill it became silent and it was almost easy to forget what was happening.

Clarke couldn’t help a small smile as she closed her eyes in wonderment. She wanted to take a mental picture and never forget this. She breathed deeply and opened her eyes again to gaze at the sky in which she came from.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Anya’s voice cut through the air.

“Osir trap hir nat!” _We camp here tonight!_  

She felt a shoulder bump her back and turned around to see Raven smiling in relief, face turned to the sky in appreciation the same as hers had been. This morning she never would have thought she, or any one of her people, would be so relieved and… happy. Maybe it was only a moment… but that moment gave more hope to the entire group then their whole time on the ground had. Somehow it felt like the sky was keeping them safe. It didn’t make sense, and she knew that… but maybe they would be okay.

As they walked down the hill to the clearing, she saw Anya looking at her. She came over to her and looked around at their group cautiously.

“Five of you at a time can come to the lake and wash. We will be in Polis by tomorrow facing the commander and you smell like a _bis.” Animal._ She spat.

She wasn’t sure what the last word she said was but she knew it wasn’t a compliment.

“Jay, Tomac! Assemble some others and take five Skaikru at a time to the lake to wash. It falls on me if the Commander is insulted by what she see’s tomorrow.” She said looking Clarke over. Clarke almost felt embarrassed at how rugged she looked. She had sweat and dirt all over her face and chest and her hair was sticking to her forehead and cheeks. She smelt awful. She didn’t understand how the grounders still looked so clean.

“ _Sha heda_.”   _Yes commander._  They spoke in unison before calling out a few other names. Two men and two women came out from the crowd of grounders who were setting up tents, eating, talking and washing in the lake already. In this moment she didn’t know why they were so terrified of them… until her attention was turned again to the weapons that never left them and remembered how skilled they were at using them.

“Pick the first five, _skai heda_.”   _Sky commander._  Said one of the men as Anya walked down the hill and to the right side of the lake.

She chose Raven, Finn, Murphy, Miller and Monroe to go first. Clarke planned to go last and if the ones she trusted and the fiercest of the group were done first then they could help organize the rest of them and make sure they didn’t do something to get themselves killed.

Once they had made it down the hill to the clearing before the water started the first five went to wash in the lake after Jay, Tomac and the others had undone their ties. No one was weird about seeing each other half naked in their underwear. After the time they’d spent on the ground and only having the one small lake by the dropship, they were used to it, and the grounders didn’t seem to pay it any mind.

 

It was dark before they made it to the last five, which included Clarke.

She went to the lake and started to strip down to her underwear along with the other five, noticing that there were grounders further down the lake that were also getting in to wash. She was vaguely aware of Finn gawking at her from behind but she paid it no mind, especially since he was sitting with Raven. He had screwed things up and anything they once had was long gone for her. She stepped further into the lake and the feeling of the cold water surrounding her body was magnificent after walking for so long. Clarke stretched her arms all the way out to her sides as if she were going to fly and felt the aching burn through her arms. She sighed and rubbed lightly at her wrists, which stung badly and looked like they might scar. The water in the dark was pitch black, but the sky was clear and it was reflecting the stars and the moon in the most beautiful way as the ripples from their movement affected the surface. Everything was so quiet now that the camp was settled and most people were asleep. There were about 20 lively grounders surrounding where Clarkes people slept on the left side of the lake, keeping watch over them while their weapons decorated their attire.

Just then Clarke heard rapid splashing in the water and whipped around to see a creature trotting towards her. It was one of the horses. The large animal walked right up to Clarke and its beauty stunned her. She stood very still, and slowly put her hand out towards the top of its forehead and the horse quickly nudged its head into her. Clarke let out a small laugh as she studied the kind creature.  
“Looks like you made a friend.” Jasper laughed from behind her. She couldn’t take her eyes off the beautiful beast but beamed back, “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“ _Skaifaya_!”   _Skyfire!_  She heard a man in the lake shout as he ran over towards Clarke and the horse. Clarke reluctantly took her hand away from the horse and put it at her side. The man trudged up through the water towards her, looking between the horse and Clarke repeatedly with a wary face. It was as if he thought _she_ could hurt the horse, and not the other way around.

“Her name is… Skaifaya?” Clarke hesitated as she asked the man. He was large, but beautiful. If she was being honest all of the grounders were beautiful in some way, but they all resembled each other with dark hair, olive skin and dark eyes. They all had unique tattoos that lined their bodies and she was sure they meant something, she just didn’t know what. There were few to none who resembled Clarke’s features in any way.

“Yes, it means Skyfire… Looks like she sensed you both had something in common.” He mused.

Clarke wasn’t sure if she should be offended by his words but there was no venom in his voice so she just smiled while he pet the horse. He looked at Clarke and furrowed his brow.

“You should sleep. We leave at first light.” He advised. Clarke nodded shortly in agreement before reaching out to graze the horse’s neck. She glanced at the man to make sure this was okay, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Goodnight, Skaifaya.” She murmured.

 

Once Clarke had gotten into her clothes again (she was longing for clean ones so badly.) She lay on the grass with the rest of her people, closer to the fire that the watching grounders had built. This morning she couldn’t have imagined herself falling asleep in this close of a proximity to a grounder but after today… they seemed more human to her. She thought about how the huge horses resembled the grounders in a way. They were both large and dangerous, but they also had this side to them that was maybe… innocent. They were all just people, same as hers. With that she let herself fall into sleep.

 

Clarke woke to sunlight, just starting to peek over the land in the distance. When she stood up she felt a stretch burn through her body and it felt so good. She twirled her wrists around knowing that soon they would be tied again.

“Clarke!” one of her own people cried to her as he walked over. She recognized him quickly; he was one of the bigger kids in the camp and his long brown curls were always in his face. His name was Jake, same as her fathers.  
“Jake, what’s up?”

“Today we’ll be meeting the commander…”

“Yes, I think so… why, what?” Clarke eyed him sceptically. He took a step closer to her and lowered his voice substantially, almost a whisper.

“So, how do we know this _commander_  isn’t going to take one look at us and decide to get rid of us.” He spat angrily. “I say we make a run for it before they tie us back up and walk us to our death. Quinn agrees with me.” Clarke took a breath and put a hand on his shoulder in reassurance, speaking as quietly as he was now.

“Jake, I know this is uncertain… to say the least. But we don’t have any other choice. And right now following through on making it to Polis today _is_ our best chance at survival. Even if we did run, we wouldn’t make it far before they found us, and we have _nothing._ I don’t want you endangering yourself, or Quinn like that. I’m sorry, Jake.”

The look on his face wasn’t a reassured one. He looked terrified.

“ _Please,_ just… stay in line, okay? This is what we are doing.” She commanded. “We have to stay together and be strong.”

His face looked crazed with fear and anger. He shook his head in frustration.

“They’re going to kill us.” He snapped and then walked off to stand by Quinn and started to talk quietly to her.

Clarke’s mood was effectively ruined and it was back to real life. All she could hope is that the 50 of them made it to Polis in one piece today. After that she would worry about what would happen to them. _One thing at a time._  She thought.

“Water, and then we’re on our way, Skaikru!” She heard Anya’s voice come from behind her. She turned to her to nod before turning back to her people and nodding towards the lake. They all went take a drink and then they were escorted back to the land by a few of the grounders who had ties for their hands again.

“Line up!” one of them shouted.

Clarke looked to Jake and Quinn who were looking at her already frantic, terrified.

Clarke gave them a small smile of assurance with her lips pressed together, but when she saw Jake look down at Quinn she knew something was up. _Please, please no._ She thought. But they turned to get in line somewhere in the middle, and Clarke felt relief flood her. The grounders with the ties started at the back of the line. Clarke went to stand with Raven at the front, and Finn was standing behind her, gaze locked on Clarke.

“The forest is right there.” He breathed quietly. She snapped.

“Finn I swear to God. We are going to Polis to meet with the commander and that is final. This is our best chance, and our only choice, so if you want to get yourself killed in the process by all means, be my guest.” She seethed, gesturing to the forest. The hurt on his face at the last thing she said was evident, but she didn’t care. In fact, it gave her a sense of satisfaction. She turned to Raven with a much calmer demeanour and voice than she’d had seconds before, taking a deep breath.

“We’re doing this. Because right now… it is our _only_ chance.” She said firmly. Raven nodded.

“I trust you, Clarke.” She said calmly and placed a hand over her shoulder.

 Just as Clarke was about to turn around to face forward she saw someone in the line move. It was Jake.

He started making a B-line for the trees and when what he was doing sunk in, Clarke’s heart sunk with it. He wasn’t alone, about a second after Jake made his move, Quinn was right behind him, but she wasn’t fast enough. One of the grounders made it to her quickly and plunged his sword through her middle.

Clarke’s mouth hung open and she instantly felt the pain in her chest. Her hands flew to her mouth in response to cover her gasp.

_No, no, no, no…_

She saw another grounder pull a dagger and throw it towards Jake who was still running for the forest. Clarke thought for a second that the blade might not reach him, but then he fell, the dagger protruding from his back.

“ _NO… Jake!_ ” She started to sob.

She didn’t realize she was moving until she felt a body in front of her grabbing onto her arms. She looked at him and through her tears she made it out to be the man from the lake last night. She looked at him pleadingly.

“ _Please…_ ” She begged. He stared into her eyes and let her arms go after a few seconds. She was vaguely aware that the rest of the army had run over now to see what was happening.

“Teik emo heda ai op em.”   _Let their commander see him._  The man decided.

She ran toward him, she saw him turn on to his side and his hands were shaking relentlessly. Clarke dropped on her knees beside him and took his shaking hands between hers. His breath was wet from the blood, unsteady and uneven.

“Its okay, it’s going to be okay.” She spoke brokenly. He tried to say something but kept on choking on his breath.

“Jake it’s ok. It’s ok.” She was panicking but was trying to keep him calm while he slipped into darkness.

“I- I’m sorry…” he choked out. She saw tears start to drop from his wide eyes.

“Shh, Its ok.” She tried to comfort him, putting her hand on his head brushing his curls back from his face. She attempted a sad smile before the words started to poor out of her.

“In peace may you leave the shore… in love may you reach the next. Safe passage on your travels… until our final journey to the ground.”

His eyes were huge, and she saw them go from seeing to unseeing, and glazing over as his last breath gurgled out of him.

“May we meet again.” She whispered through her sobs.


	5. Bond of Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously all the Trigedasleng Clarke doesn't know, so anything thats underlined she doesn't understand. And I promise next chapter we'll be meeting Bellamy!!  
> I hope you guys like this chapter, thank you for reading! :)

Chapter 5 – Bond of Blood

 

 

 

The bodies were burned before they left, and the 48 of them in unison spoke the traditional parting. Anya gave a firm warning of what would happen again if they tried to run, and there was rebellion in no ones eyes when everyone left the shore that morning.

Clarke kept to herself as they walked. If anyone had tried to talk to her or comfort her, she hadn’t noticed. Everyone’s demeanours were unmistakeably solemn. Even if some didn’t know Jake and Quinn personally, those 50 people had been all that there was left to their people. The sky people. It seemed like they hadn’t gone a single day without someone dying since they landed on the ground.

Clarke was so sick and tired of being afraid for everyone, everyday. Although with the amount she was around death in the last short while of her life, she found that she wasn’t as worried for herself to die anymore. The things she’d done to keep everyone else alive were deserving of death.

 _I’m not any better._ The words kept replaying in her head. She couldn’t think of anything else while they walked, her brain was a broken record.

 

Once she finally stopped thinking about that, the sounds of everyone’s steps became like a chant to her. It was all she was focusing on, and all that was keeping her own legs moving forward. She had heard a few of the grounders say some things in both their language and hers, but none of it was registering or cutting through the thick fog of her brain right now. Her eyes were only peeled on the square foot of ground in front of her feet, while their pace became slower and then came to a stop.

 

“We’re here, Skaiheda.” Tomac said.

 

Clarke jumped at the voice that seemed closer to her than she thought anyone was. She looked up and had to blink a few times. She saw something she’d never seen before in person… it didn’t look exactly like the pictures she’d seen in the books on the Ark, but it was similar enough to know what it was. It was a city. There was a huge round tower that protruded from the middle of the town and it stood ten times higher than any of the tallest trees in the forest she’d ever seen.

 

“Polis.” Clarke breathed.

 

When they approached the city, Clarke wasn’t too sure what to expect, but she knew the people there had probably heard stories and maybe even lost someone close to them in the ring of fire. It wasn’t going to be a friendly visit… _that_ she knew.

 

She knew she was right when she heard someone spit at her. People were glaring daggers, whispering to each other and growled angry words at the 48 as they marched through the city to the tower.

 

It seemed like time went faster when she left the group at the bottom of the tower being guarded by the grounders who’d brought them here, and they were being lifted in an elevator with Raven, Finn, Miller, Anya, Tomac and Jay. It was a big space but with the 7 of them in there it seemed impossibly crowded. It was silence for almost the whole ride up.

 

“You will speak only when spoken to,” Anya addresses all of them. “The commander is not to be questioned or argued with. She will take no hesitation in striking you down.” She says this surely, almost blandly, like she’s seen this commander take many lives before.

Clarke looks to her friends to see the same concerned and terrified expression on their faces as hers as they looked to Clarke. She felt the weight of this meeting sitting on her shoulders.

She wants to ask something, get more information about what she’s walking into but before she can get the words out the elevator comes to a jerking stop and the doors open.

 

The first thing she noticed was the beauty of the stone architecture; it instantly amazed Clarke. The ceiling curved up into a dome that was cut off through the middle and the walls and ceiling were as tall as trees. Every bend and corner of the room had swirls and designs that were so beautiful. Two large glass doors stood at the back of the room, but they were fogged so Clarke couldn’t see what lay after them. There were flowing red blankets of cloth covering the open windows that circled the room, waving at the breeze that was pushing against them. The setting sun shone orange light through the spaces in the windows that the blankets couldn’t cover, and the glow beamed onto the stone, making the light look like paintings on the walls.

It was stunning.

“Wow…” Raven breathed to Clarke as they slowly stepped out of the elevator, still looking around in bewilderment. There was not an inch of this room that was boring.

It took a few seconds for Clarke to regain herself and she noticed that Anya, Jay and Tomac were standing by the glass doors, staring back, waiting for them.

 

“Welcome to Polis.” Tomac said casually.

 

When they walked up to the people waiting, she saw unfamiliar faces behind them, guarding the doors.

 

“When we go in, you will bow to the commander until you are asked to stand.” Anya instructed.

 

“Okay.” She got out.

 

“Anya,” Clarke heard behind her, a low forceful voice. “You’ve made it back with Skaikru.” The man said as he came to stand in front of the door facing them.

He was very tall and very large with muscle. His hair was long and pulled back and his beard was thick and came down to his chest. She couldn’t tell if on his face was tattoo’s or war paint, but she tried not to look at him for long.

 

“Yes, Gustus. We’re ready to see the commander now.” Anya replied while she reached out to Clarke and grabbed her harshly by the arm, pulling her forward and closer to Gustus and the doors. The movement made the ties on her hands cut deeper into her flesh and she winced.

When Clarke saw Gustus take a step towards her she reluctantly brought her eyes up to his, and they were already burning into hers.

 

“If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat.” He spoke deeply and slowly, spiking fear into Clarke’s heart.

But she had to remind herself to be strong… whatever was going to happen in here would determine the fate of her people. A fate, which she thought, had already been sealed two days ago… but here they were. And Clarke was not about to screw it up now.

She nodded to him in understanding, knowing full well there was no bluff there. He turned towards the doors and made a gesture to the guards to open them.

When the doors swung open she could see that the dome was continued onto the other side, along with the windows that circled the room. It was just as beautiful.

 

They walked in and Clarke felt nervous at how many people were in the room, all waiting and staring with curious and hateful eyes as the four sky people entered after the grounders. Gustus went right to the front and stood to the left of the commander who was sitting in a large throne that was placed in front of a large open window that looked like you could walk right off to your death. To the right were two stunning women, one Clark’s age and one a little older. The younger one had black hair and was dressed head to toe in tight black clothing, with a sword attached to her back and a dagger strapped to her leg. The lightest things about her were her pale blue eyes. The other woman had dark skin and a tattoo on the left of her face, and two huge scars on the right. They both looked like lethal warriors.

 

There were three steps leading up to the throne, and Anya, Jay and Tomac took Clarke and the others to the front and pushed her the closest to stand right at the bottom of the stairs; mere feet away from the commander.

She didn’t know what she was expecting from this commander she’d heard so much about, but it wasn’t what she saw in front of her now.

The commander was young, probably the same age as Clarke. She had long brown hair and her face was beautiful. She had black war paint that covered her eyes and went into her hair at her temples then fell into sharp lines that dripped down her cheeks. Yet still, under it all, her face still managed to look… youthful. Gorgeous.

Clarke drew herself out of her thoughts with a small gasp when she realized the room was dead silent and she could see in her peripherals that everyone was bowing except her. She dropped her knee to the floor and her eyes dropped with it. She was only like this for a few seconds before she heard the young commanders voice.

 

“Gyon op.” _Rise._  Her voice cut through the room and it held everyone’s attention and respect instantly.

 

Clarke and the others stood after she heard everyone else in the room stand and slowly reached her gaze back up to the commander, who she now realized was playing with a short blade that had a wooden handle and eccentric designs carved into it. The commander’s eyes seemed to be burning into Clarkes. She cocked her head to the side…

First, deafening silence; and then…

 

“You’re the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive.” She wasn’t asking, she was stating a fact.

Clarke swallowed hard and felt a cold sweat spread through her body. She wouldn’t screw things up, but she wouldn’t be manipulated into being the bad guy either.

 

“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.” She replied in the same way.

 

She lifted her head straight and tilted her chin up at Clarke, moving her blade to one hand and stabbing it into the arm of her throne. The air in the room went from tension to ice, and a few people’s hands went to hover on the handles of their swords.

 

“What is your name?”

 

“Clarke.”

 

For a second Clarke thought she saw the commander’s eyes skim over her body.

 

“Clarke, kom Skaikru… My name is Lexa.” Clarke didn’t know how to respond so she just nodded. It was a few more seconds before she spoke again.

 

“So tell me Clarke, what are Skaikru’s intentions in this war that you’ve started?”

 

“With all due respect commander, our intention was never to start a war. Your people threw the first weapon before we even knew you were here.” Clarke spoke evenly and monotone, to control the slight rage she was starting to feel inside.

 

“Teik ai frag em op en dison laik odon.” _Let me kill her and get this over with._  The dark skinned woman with the scars spoke from the right of the throne but stopped when Lexa lifted her hand to silence her.

 

“So they did. Mount Weather is a border none can cross.” Lexa stated.

 

Clarke was confused at first but it was like an epiphany when she thought back and remembered that Jasper had only been speared while he held the Mount Weather sign up. They thought they were part of the mountain.

 

“I can assure you, we came from the sky, and not the mountain.” Clarke knew they knew this now.

 

“The missiles you launched burned a village to the ground. What do you have to say for that?”

 _Oh no…_ She was about to speak when she heard Finn from behind her instead.

 

“Commander, those weren’t-“ Clarke threw her hand out to the side and gave a look of warning over her shoulder. This silenced him.

 

Clarke’s attention turned back to Lexa and saw that she was staring at Finn in an unnerving way until Clarke spoke.

 

“Commander, those were not missiles, those were flares that we made and they were meant to signal to our families that we were alive on the ground after we lost connection with them. We had no idea the repercussion that they had on that village or believe me, we would not have done it.” Clarke pleaded, trying to make the truth in her words evident. “Everything we have done since we landed was to survive, including the ring of fire, but we do not want war. We were only sent down here by our people to live… to see if we were able to live. And that’s all I want for my friends now.”

 

Lexa took a few seconds with that.

 

“And where are your people now?” Lexa inquired.

 

Everyone knew what must have happened in the sky, but no one really ever spoke the words, and they were going to be hard for Clarke.

 

“They’re dead.” Clarke took a breath and swallowed any emotion that dared to creep onto her face. “The oxygen on the Ark failed, and when the ship did come down… it crashed and there were no survivors. Any of our people were either destroyed on impact or are in the sky with no air.”

 

“ _Lies._ Heda ai ste beja yu daun teik ai frag em op!” _Commander, I beg you, let me kill her._  The scarred woman spoke again, gripping her sword even harder and starring at Clarke with hate. The young girl beside her was still standing with hard focus, waiting for things to unravel.

 

“Shof op, Indra.” _Be quiet, Indra._  Lexa demanded before turning her attention back to Clarke. A small smile that Clarke couldn’t put meaning to spread across Lexa’s lips. “So… the dead are gone, and the living are hungry…”

Clarke knew she didn’t mean literally, (although they hadn’t actually had food in 2 days) but she knew Lexa understood her. The remainder of Skaikru had nothing to fight for, only peace.

Clarke nodded to confirm.

 

“Your heart shows no sign of weakness, Clarke kom Skaikru. And I hope that remains true…” Lexa began, “I did bring you here today with a few ideas of what I’d do with the remainder of your people based on how their heda spoke. And I’ve decided.”

She looked to the side at the young girl with black hair and the girl stepped forward in response.

 

“ _Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in_. I’ve learned much about you, Skaikru. Its clear your intentions are honourable, your desire for peace is true.” _I’ve heard what I need to hear._   She announced.

  
“Thank you, Commander.” Clarke didn’t even need to try to make her voice sound sincere when she said this. She was so relieved.

 

“This is Octavia kom Trikru,” Lexa said nodding to the girl still standing beside her. “Trikru is the clan I was born into. Her brother, and my trusted friend, is the King, and has already offered to take in Skaikru to live in their land, through bond of blood.”

 

 _Bond of blood?_  Clarke wondered what that even meant and wanted to ask, but Lexa continued talking.

 

“Skaikru will dine in Polis tonight as my guests. Tomorrow when you board the boat to Trikru territory, you are at the mercy of Trikru until an alliance is solidified or the King decides otherwise. I have plans to be in Trikru territory 3 months from now.”

She was mostly speaking to the room this whole time, but now she looked to Clarke now.

“I truly believe that this arrangement will be best for everyone’s people. And I hope that I will be seeing you again in 3 months time.”

 

Clarke wasn’t sure if that meant that if this ‘alliance’, whatever that actually meant, couldn’t be solidified if they would just kill them all. The uncertainty put another weight on Clarke’s shoulders. Just as the last one had been lifted off.

 

“Lus emo au.” _Untie them._  Lexa commanded. People came from behind to untie her and the others. Her wrists were bloody and scabbed but her sleeves covered them.

 

“Thank you, Anya, for bringing Skaikru to me. You and your warriors are of course welcome to stay in Polis tonight to eat and rest before your journey home again.”

 

“Thank you, heda.” Anya said with solace.

  
Lexa stood now and the entire room straightened with attention when she did.

 

“Clarke, go to your people and fill them in. Octavia, please go with our guests and show them to dinner and their rooms later.”

 

“Sha, heda.” _Yes, commander._  Octavia agreed.

 

 

After explaining to the rest of the group and trying her hardest to ignore Finn’s eyes she knew were following her everywhere, she spoke with Raven and Miller, and they both felt like maybe this could be good for them. The rest of Skaikru seemed confused, but after seeing how assured Clarke looked they all went with it and she didn’t get complaints from anyone other than Finn, who was swiftly told to shut up by Raven.

Clarke didn’t know if she actually felt assured of anything or not, they weren’t being held as prisoners anymore, at least not right now, but she wasn’t sure what would happen tomorrow. It didn’t need to be said that every single one of them still had a thick guard up. It was hard to have trust in anyone or anything on the ground, they all knew that. Nothing had been easy for them since they touched the ground and they didn’t expect that to change now.

 

At dinner Clarke sat beside Octavia and neither of them spoke to one another other than a few times where Octavia had explained something about where to go, what they were eating or who someone was, and Clarke only replied with kind short sentences. Skaikru was so happy to finally be eating; everyone had gorged themselves except for Clarke. She couldn’t stop thinking about what the commander had said, and what exactly that meant for her people now. _Through bond of blood…_ she kept racking her brain thinking if she’d heard anything like that before. She wanted to know exactly what that meant.

Lexa had only come into the room briefly, and she was pretty sure the only reason was to enforce that both our people and hers were cooperating in this tricky middle ground they had going on. Octavia seemed more or less indifferent to our people, but there were many others including the woman who’d stood beside her in the throne room, Indra, who just glared and looked like they’d love nothing more than to rip our limbs off.

Clarke was almost scared, but remembered the respect and attention everyone showed to Lexa, and thought that no one would dare disobey her unless they wanted to be killed.

Before Clarke knew it dinner was over and she’d only eaten some grapes and a piece of meat Octavia told her was deer, and it tasted good. But she was just too pre-occupied thinking about what was going to happen next to enjoy the meal fully. They had gone to the 5thfloor up and that’s where the majority of the 48 were sleeping for the night. They were told someone would wake them up tomorrow morning to leave for Trikru territory. Octavia showed Clarke to a door and told her it was her room, and she realized that it was just the two of them there now.

Clarke turned to the girl and finally worked up the courage to ask what she’d wanted to all night, just as she was moving to walk away.

“Octavia,” The girl swivelled on her heel at her name and looked at Clarke, putting her hands behind her back gently. She was very graceful in her movements. “What did the commander mean when she said through 'bond of blood'? What does that mean?” Clarke asked.

 

“Uh…” She seemed like she wasn’t too sure if she should be saying anything, but she did after a second. “A bond of blood, in our culture, means something that can’t be broken once solidified. It’s a way to join two groups of people into one without leaving room for question…” She seemed like she was done talking but a small smile decorated her face and Clarke didn’t know what it meant. Octavia rolled her eyes somewhat playfully. “My big brother will always take on newcomers, but the intrigue of the infamous _Skaikru_ has him looking for something a little more… sure.”

 

“Oh,” Clarke took a breath, still not totally knowing what that all meant, but surely if something like this left no room for questioning… would that mean they’d be safe? Octavia seemed like an honest person but Clarke didn’t know what to think.

“Thank you, Octavia.” Clarke spoke quietly. Octavia nodded and turned to walk away to her room.

 

 This day had dealt so much at Clarke; she wasn’t sure how she was still functioning, honestly. She didn’t even realize how beautiful her room was until she was standing in the middle of it. There was a bed, a real bed, which looked incredible. There was a fireplace that was already going steadily and a few old pieces of furniture that looked so antique Clarke didn’t even want to touch them. She saw a tub that when she walked up to noticed had warm water in it. It looked heavenly.

The walls were the same as the rest of the tower, laced with intricate designs in every corner and up into the ceiling. Clarke went to the fireplace and stripped her clothes off to the floor and warmed her body by the fire before going to the tub and getting in. Her brain kept trying to linger on everything that the commander and Octavia had said, but Clarke stopped it. This room was so beautiful, the water was so warm, and she knew they’d be leaving in the morning.

 

Clarke approached the bed after her bath and saw incredible looking furs that covered it. It looked so warm. In this moment, Clarke had let herself be content. She lied under the furs and let their incredible softness comfort her into a sleep that didn’t take long to fall in to.

Tomorrow was a new day, and she knew the weight of responsibility would be back on her shoulders the moment she woke up.


	6. Em ste yuj

Chapter 6 – Em ste yuj

 

 

 

Clarke was startled awake by a door closing. She looked around but didn’t see anyone in the room, only a plate of food by her bed that had some fruit and bread on it. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had bread. Her clothes were folded nicely over the chair by her bed and she felt embarrassed that someone had picked them up after she’d just left them on the floor.

Reluctantly she got up from the warm bed. As she put the dirty clothes on she thought about how nice it was to be taken care of, rather than the one who was giving the care. She was used to stitching people up, fetching them water and food when they started to get better and making sure their injuries never got infected. She was the caretaker.

She was just finishing up with her food when a small women she didn’t recognise opened the door and poked her head through.

 

“I’m supposed to tell you you’ll be leaving right away, the others are getting ready to go.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled politely and the woman shut the door.

Clarke was trying to use her fingers to claw through the knots and tangles in her hair when she heard a small knock at the door and Raven came in, Miller behind her.

They walked in wearily and closed the door behind them.

 

“Hey guys.” Clarke greeted.

“Hey, can we talk?” Miller asked.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Did you get to talk to Octavia last night about what to expect?” Raven asked before Miller could.

“Oh… well not really… she said her brother, the King, will take in newcomers to his clan but because of what he’s heard about us he needs something more concrete.”

Raven and Miller looked at each other.

“The blood bond, right?” Miller mused before looking back to Clarke. “What does that even mean?”

Clarke shrugged.

“Well should we be worried?” Raven’s voice sounded desperate and a little irritated.

“No. You guys, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure this alliance works, and if it’s not safe for even _one_ of us… we’ll go from there. Right now lets just see what this is about, get the information first, and then make the hard decisions later.” Clarke tried her best to be assuring.

“I know you’re doing your best Clarke, and we’re all thankful for that… but we’re just worried you know? I mean, we don’t know anything about Trikru, never mind their King.” Miller stated.

She sighed heavily looking between her friends. If she didn’t feel that weight back on her shoulders already, she certainly did now.

“I know. Right now we’re taking this one step at a time okay? That’s all we can do. I wish we had control of the situation but the hard truth is, we don’t. There’s nothing we can do about that right now except stay smart and alert.”

They seemed more at ease now and nodded in understanding before turning to leave.

“Oh, and guys?” Clarke called. They stopped to look back at her. “This uncertainty about the alliance and the King… it stays between us. We need to work together as one. The last thing I need is for people to start getting scared and making stupid choices. I don’t want to loose anymore of you.”

They both agreed before Miller smirked, “What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right?”

Clarke tried to smile back and they left. What they didn’t know  _could_ very well hurt them, but still, they didn’t need a confirmation of their fears.

When Clarke made it out of her room and down to the bottom of the tower she saw all her people waiting there with Octavia.

“Clarke. Ready to go?” Octavia inquired.

She agreed before letting any of her doubt show in her expression.

Octavia turned to a group of huge men standing behind her and said something in her language that Clarke couldn’t hear. Then the men were pulling rope to tie their hands.

“Wait, we don’t need these. We’re all coming without a fight.” Clarke protested. Octavia’s eyes narrowed the tiniest amount.

“Just to be safe.” She insisted with a leer smile pointed at Clarke.

Clarke’s wrists were seriously never going to heal. They hurt so badly as they were tied behind her back again.

 

 

It had only taken them about an hour to get to the ocean and when they did none of them could believe how beautiful it was. They all agreed that the beach looked almost exactly like the pictures from textbooks that they’d seen on the ark.

There were only about 10 people escorting them, including Octavia, but they were all extremely huge and wore vicious looking swords on them. Everyone was still scarred from the other day because nobody even looked like they wanted to run at this point. Clarke thought that they’d probably all calmed down after yesterday hearing that they’d be taken in somewhere and especially after the comforting night they spent in Polis. It was good to see her people feel hope. Even if they were tied up at the moment.

The boat was huge. She realised it was actually more of a ship now that she was here looking at it. Clarke didn’t think any of her people would do something reckless at this point, but just in case…

“May I stand with you until my people are all on?” Clarke asked Octavia.

“Of course, Wanheda.”

“… _Wanheda_?” Clarke asked sceptically.

She got a side look from Octavia while she and her people had their ties cut loose and everyone started to climb the ladder. Miller looked at her for reassurance before he went up and Clarke gave him the most comforting smile she could muster.

Clarke looked at Octavia who she was beginning to think wouldn’t give an explanation.

Just then Octavia cocked her head toward Clarke but didn’t look at her.

“Commander of death.”

 _What?_ Clarke couldn’t wrap her head around it at first, but when she did it stung. She had just been thinking this morning about how she was a healer. Her job was to save people. Save people from the grounders… and now the grounders were the one’s calling _her_ the commander of death? She believed it all too readily.

_Maybe I am just a killer._

“Why?” Clarke couldn’t manage anything more than a whisper.

“Warrior’s are honoured in our society Clarke,” She explained. “Kill one and their power is yours. Kill three hundred…? And you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

Clarke thought about it for a moment, considering her words.

“So why not kill me then?” When the words left her mouth it sounded more like a suggestion rather than a question.

This time Octavia looked at her with what she thought to be compassion. It looked strange on her face, like she didn’t often show that emotion.

“Like I said, warrior’s are honoured. People may hate you, but they want you on their side, Clarke. And the truth is if Lexa hadn’t been born Trikru, you’d probably have been sent off to Azgeda, they wasted no time speaking for you.” She finished.

Clarke just had more questions.

“Who’s Azgeda?” She asked. But her question was cut off by a loud voice coming from above them. They realized everyone was on the ship except one of the men who was still standing with them.

“Zir la komb’ir!” _We’re coming!_   Octavia shouted back, a little annoyed.

“So impatient.” Octavia snorted, shooting a smirk at Clarke. She gave a half-hearted chuckle back, before looking out to the land she didn’t know if she’d ever see again. She looked in the direction she thought they’d come from the dropship and thought about how cold and dark it felt there. They’d had a good night in Polis, but the truth was, they had no home here. She didn’t feel connected or attached in any way. She was okay with never seeing this piece of land again. She hoped she never had to.

 

 

They were about 4 hours into their journey when the 48 started to get sick. Some were throwing up; some were trying to breath through the nausea. Clarke though, felt fine. She guessed it was because she hadn’t eaten as much as everyone else the night before. Trikru must have known to expect this because the large dining quarters they were all staying in at the bottom of the boat had buckets lined up against the wall when they had first came down.

Clarke climbed up the stairs and knocked on the door that was closed above her head. A large man opened it.

“I need to speak to Octavia.” She insisted.

The man looked behind Clarke and saw that it was only her on the ladder so he let her up, closing the door again after. He spoke some words in his language and another man came to guard the door while he escorted Clarke down the right side of the boat into a small hallway with a few doors. They went to the one at the very end and he knocked. Clarke heard the Octavia’s voice from the inside telling them to come in.

The room was small, but it had a desk with a map on it and some shelves with a few books on them. There was a small bed in the corner of the room with fur laying over it.

“Clarke!” Octavia exclaimed with a tight-lipped smile before dismissing the man that was still standing there. He left and Octavia sat down behind the desk, closing a notebook that had been open on top of the map. Clarke eyed it for a second.

“What can I do for you?” She interrupted Clarkes gaze.

“Um, well, it turns out my people don’t have very strong stomachs… they’re all quite ill so I’m wondering if you had some cloths and a bucket of water to keep them cool and help the nausea.”

Octavia laughed. “We figured they wouldn’t do too well on the water. I’ll find something for you and have someone bring it down.”

“Thank you.” She said earnestly.

 

She only waited with her people for about 20 minutes when a man came down and handed Clarke a bucket of water and a basket of about 30 cloths reluctantly. She knew this particular man was doing this because of orders, and not out of the kindness of his heart. Most of the grounders hated them, especially her.

People had to share the cloths between them but that wasn’t a problem. She figured they could use them to clean the wounds on their wrists from being tied first. It didn’t help very much, but it was something.

After that Clarke spent the whole time running buckets of puke to the small window that was down there (the only window, which she had to use a bench to reach) and throwing the contents into the ocean. Running back and forth between people, re-dampening the fabric, rubbing peoples back, getting them more water when they needed and assuring them it was no problem when they thanked her.

Hours had passed and no one was throwing up anymore. Everything was out of their system and they were more used to the rocking of the ship.

 

By the time it was dark out Clarke was exhausted and it wasn’t hard for her to rest her head on the bench that was pressed to the wall by the window and fall asleep.

She dreamt of her mom and dad, about the times they all shared together on the ark. She saw the faces of her friend’s that were dead in the sky and more so the ones who’d died here on the ground.

Her stomach started to twist as her dream turned dark and the faces of those she’d killed, grounder and Skaikru alike, continued to stare her in the face.

She started to scream until she felt something hard hit her head.

 

She gasped awake and pushed herself off the ground. Her head had fallen off the bench and she’d hit it on the floor. She was still breathing deeply while she looked around. No one had seemed to notice, they were mostly just sleeping or talking quietly to their friends in other corners of the room.

The first thing Clarke noticed was how god awful it smelled. She’d noticed it before of course but now after waking up it was a whole new level of bad. The sun was just starting to make the black sky a deep blue, and although Clarke wanted so badly to go back to sleep, she forced herself awake. She’d rather do something useful than relive seeing the hollow eyes and dead faces of people who she was supposed to protect. _I really am the commander of death aren’t I._ She was really starting to loath herself.

 

She kept herself busy the rest of the early morning, doing the same routine she’d done yesterday, only this time she wasn’t as needed and people kept telling her to get some sleep. She couldn’t do that. She turned her focus to trying to pull the knots out of her hair again. It wasn’t working. She smelled horrible, they all did, but there wasn’t really anything they could do about that either.

Soon enough the sun was getting higher in the sky and the movements of the ship started to feel different to everyone. Her people didn’t get to talk about it for long though, before two men came down into the dining quarters and confirmed their gossip; the ship was approaching land now, they were here.

The grounders then continued to give them the low down on what would be happening.

“Once off the boat, stick to the dirt road. Our King is now yours; and you _will_ bow to your King upon meeting. Show disrespect and you will reap the consequences.”

 

Clarke felt herself growing more and more nervous as they were escorted up to the deck of the ship and their hands were tied again. She had tried her best to still her hands while this happened so no one would see them shaking.

She hadn’t given a single thought to what she figured this place would look like until now, while she was looking at it. Somehow though, it still wasn’t what she thought.

 

There were small mountains that were half covered in green, and half rock, while water poured down some them. She saw tree’s she didn’t recognize right away. Simple dirt paths that she could see led in different directions through the hills. There were buildings in the distance, homes. And one large thing Clarke couldn’t quite place at the moment due to fog that was covering a lot of her view.

There were people waiting at the docs, and this time instead of a ladder, they had a large board that they rigged up to the side of the boat. They walked down the ramp with Octavia, whom Clarke thought didn’t look as easy-going as she had yesterday. It didn’t look like she could smile even if she wanted to now. She had a look in her eyes that Clarke could compare to the look warriors had going into battle, and it sobered Clarke’s mind into remembering what was really happening here. They weren’t guaranteed safety, not yet, and until that time came Clarke wouldn’t trust anyone but her own people. Not even Octavia, and certainly not the King.

 

They had been walking towards the houses for a while and the sun was mid sky now. The fog was gone but it was really bright out so Clarke kept her head down, letting her falling hair guard her eyes from the sun as they came to the top of one of the bigger hills.

“Oh my god…” She heard someone gasp behind her. Other familiar voices from her people started to do the same and Clarke had no idea what was going on.

“Look! I can’t believe it!” She heard from someone else. She looked up ahead of her and… _Oh my god…_

It was a _castle…_ a real life castle. It was huge and magnificent. It was a light brown colour and had many towers. She could sort of make out vines and greenery that seemed to scale the brick on the side of the castle that faced them. Beautiful didn’t even begin to cover what Clarke thought this huge island looked like. It was better than any picture she’d ever seen, or anything she’d ever imagined when her father read her stories of kingdoms and Princesses and Prince’s.

They came to a part in the path that split into two, one looked to go to the village, and the other went to the castle. They followed the one that went to the castle and Clarke was excited to see what it would look like on the inside, until she remembered that on the inside was the King, and he would be deciding their fate.

 

They reached the front two doors of the castle and Clarke could see there were many men guarding it. When they saw Octavia they opened both doors without hesitation. Everyone walked in with slow steps and couldn’t stop winding their heads around to take in every bit of the unfamiliar.

The castle somehow looked bigger on the inside. It was a huge room with steps at the end and Clarke could see a large empty throne with large black drapes that hung behind it on the wall. The artist in Clarke squealed when she saw the paintings hanging on the walls, and when she looked up to the ceiling it was painted too. There were gold frames around the pictures and little gold designs on the walls. The floor was white and had little black lines running through it, she wasn’t sure, but she thought it was marble. The whole thing was breath taking.

 

Clarke was pushed to her knees at the bottom of the stairs, looking at the empty throne, and her people all knelt a few feet behind her. One of the grounders asked a question in their language.

“I’ll get him.” Octavia volunteered. She walked up the stairs to the left of Clarke and turned a corner.

Clarke took this opportunity to look over her shoulder at her people. They just looked scared. Clarke was 18 now but most of them were still only kids. She was going to do everything in her power to keep her people alive, even if it took her own life. She breathed in and spoke with as much of an even and clear voice as possible.

“Be strong.” She told them. She got a few nods and some were attempting to steady their shaky breath. She had been nervous and shaky before, but now… now she actually _felt_ strong. She felt like she could do anything, and she would do anything, for her people. She just didn’t know what to expect.

 

“Skaikru.” A low growling voice echoed off the walls of the castle and Clarke’s eyes darted to the front of the room as she saw Octavia rounding the corner with who she assumed was the King. She didn’t get a good look at him; she just immediately bowed her head to him as she had been told to do.

 

“Ai Haihefa.” _My King._  The grounders said as they bowed.

 

Clarke still had her head bowed but she could tell he came to sit in the throne in front of her and that Octavia was standing by his side. She thought she heard someone else, too. And she was pretty sure whoever that was, was standing on the other side of the throne.

Things were agonizingly quiet for what felt like 5 minutes after he sat, but was really only 5 seconds.

 

“Stand, Skaiheda.” He spoke lowly in a firm voice.

Clarke went to do what she was told as a man came from behind her and pulled her by the wrists to help her stand. She couldn’t help but let out a small gasp of pain at the touch. It felt like her wrists started bleeding again.

 

She looked up at the King. The first thing she noticed was how young he looked. He must have only been a few years older than her. The second thing she noticed was… _Wow_ … He was very attractive.

He had black wavy curls that came to his ears and covered his forehead. His skin was a dark olive colour, and his eyes were the most alluring dark brown she’d ever seen. She couldn’t be totally sure, but it looked like he had freckles.

On the ark that was rare… No direct sunlight meant that no one had freckles, and although a few of the 100 had started getting faint ones after they’d come to the ground and she’d seen them on other grounders before, they couldn’t hold a flame to how beautiful the King’s were. He was devastatingly handsome.

 _Fuck._ Clarke thought when she felt her face get hot. She was pretty sure she’d just been staring at him, and that fact was not lost on his face. He smirked at her and leaned forward, eyes never leaving hers.

“So you are Commander of the sky people, Wanheda, Skairipa.” He drawled her names amusingly. The smirk was still growing on his face and Clarke couldn’t make herself answer him. Really, she didn’t know that she wanted to be any of those things; so she just averted her eyes from his to the ground.

He chuckled, a low deep sound that Clarke hated herself for liking.

 _Get your shit together._ She commanded herself. She just reminded herself that he could still kill them and that seemed to do the trick.

He stood up and walked down the steps to the one right in front of her. She felt embarrassed at her smell and overall appearance. He was standing very close now but Clarke still couldn’t make herself look at him.

“So, I hear you wish to die.” He bemused.

That did the trick. Her eyes shot up to his and saw that smirk still plastered on his face. She remembered the conversation she’d had with Octavia before getting on the ship ( _Why not kill me then?_ ), and looked back at her. She had the same stupid smirk her brother did.

“I do not wish to die, my King.” Clarke said firmly, looking back to the floor.

“Hm.” He huffed to himself.

“ _Em ste yuj_.” _She is strong._  He murmured to her. She didn’t know what he said but the way he said it… Their eyes met for an impossibly tense moment.

He looked at the guard standing behind her.

“Lus em au.” _Untie her._  He ordered.

The man did as he was told and Clarke was startled when he grabbed her arms and she felt his blade cut her ties. For a second she thought he was going to stick it right into her back.

She brought her hands to her front and placed her hand over the wrist that was hurting most while she winced. Now that she was looking at it, it looked like it was beginning to get infected.

All of a sudden his hand picked up one of hers gently and was looking at it. Clarke’s heart instantly picked up speed. His expression turned to anger and he looked at his sister, holding Clarke’s hand out.

“Gouva klin.” _Explain._  He yelled.

Octavia stepped towards them. “Their hands were that bad when we received them at Polis.” Octavia explained.

He looked back at Clarke and she wasn’t going to say anything about it, even though the journey from Polis to here had certainly not helped them. She knew everyone else’s wrists looked the same as hers.

He dropped her hand and sighed in frustration. It sounded like a low growl.

“So I assume during your visit to Polis Lexa told you about the alliance?” He questioned her.

Clarke took a breath. “Not exactly, just that you wanted one… a… a blood bond?” She struggled to remember the words, still uncertain of what they meant.

The King’s face broke into a full on smile now.

“Do you know what that is, Clarke?” he questioned, amused now.

This was the first time he’d said her actual name and it had a physical effect on her. Her face went red again. She wasn’t sure how to answer him; he was confusing her greatly.

“No, not exactly.” She admitted a little frustrated.

“Hmm…” he pondered, still smiling down at her. “What do your people call it… when two people join together to become one?”

Clarke’s heart suddenly felt like it was going to drop out of her. She blinked at him wildly. Suddenly everything made sense.

“Marriage.” She whispered. He gave a soft laugh.

“Then that is my offer; one marriage between the leaders of the two clans, to become one. An alliance that cannot be broken. A blood bond.”

 _Oh my god… he wants me to marry him?!_ She couldn’t even wrap her head around it.

“No, not happening!” Finn yelled from behind her. She saw the King’s face go from smiling to something more than hate in a matter of a second as he snapped his head up to look at Finn. Clarke jumped in before something irreversible happened.

“Finn, stop.” She snapped back at him.

“You can’t get marr-“

“I can do whatever is best for my people.” She interjected.

He was quieter this time. “What about what’s best for you?” he argued.

There was silence when she turned to look at the King again. His eyes met hers. She took a breath.

“Can I have some time to think about it and discuss with you what this will mean for my people?” She asked him quietly.

“Of course.” He murmured back to her as he grazed her arm. Clarke wasn’t expecting it. Her face went hot again. _Damn._

He spoke louder now, to everyone. “Until something is agreed upon, take them to the Medical wing and get their injuries taken care of. They are guests in this castle, but with heavy guards.” He looked to Clarke.

“I trust that’s reasonable enough for you?” He asked. Clarke only nodded back in agreement.

 “If any one of your people do anything to harm mine I will not give a second thought to executing them.” He promised. “They’re not mine yet.” He said with a smirk before he walked off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy is finally here! Yay! Make sure to leave comments if you're enjoying! Thank you for reading. :)


	7. Gon gedanes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Canada Day, fellow Canadian's! Here's another chapter in celebration of the country this wonderful show was filmed in. :)

Chapter 7 – Gon gedanes

 

 

 

 

 

The 48 were being escorted to the medical wing of the castle now, after everyone else’s ties had been cut free. Clarke could tell the guards were gentler with the others, probably for fear of what the King would do if they made the injuries worse. When the King said that they would be heavily guarded he was not kidding. There were so many of them, at least 2 grounders to a single sky person. Clarke thought it was a little overkill, but then again their people were strangers to each other.

 _Strangers. That’s all we are._ Clarke thought this not about her people and the Kings, but about herself and the King specifically. She realized then she didn’t even know his name. How was this going to work?

 

Once in the medical wing Clarke was astonished. It was a big room, and it looked like it was once a library. There were walls and walls of shelves that held jars, bowls, and cups instead of books. They contained plants, varying from leaves to stems to flowers. There were some filled with liquids and powders too. Each had a label attached to it and she was sure was in their language not hers.

It was incredible. There were only 2 healers though, and when she heard them yelling to each other over everyone who was in the room now she gathered their names were Nyko and Lincoln. She wasn’t sure who was who though.

Things were starting to calm down, most of the guards had moved to outside the room or standing against the walls while the 48 took turns having their wounds looked at. When it was Clarke’s turn she sat down and looked at the healer. He was large with muscle. He had long hair that was tied back and a tattoo over the left side of his face. She thought immediately that both the healers had a different look to them, a kind one.

 

“My name is Nyko.” He introduced himself with a small smile. “Is it just your wrists?”

“Um, yeah, just my wrists.” Clarke confirmed. He soaked a clean towel in a clear substance that Clarke knew was disinfectant, and braced herself for the burn. It wasn’t as bad as she thought but it still stung.

 “Where is she?” She heard a semi-familiar voice coming from the doorway. It was the King. They’re eyes met at the same time the guard pointed Clarke out and he was already on his way over to her, someone was following behind him. He grabbed a chair and pulled it up to her, sitting down. He went from looking at her to looking at her wrists.

The King didn’t say anything right away and she didn’t know what to say so she just smiled with her lips pressed together tightly.

 

“How is everything going here?” He finally asked.

“Good. Almost everyone’s done now.” She informed him. She winced as Nyko put the freshly doused towel on her other wrist.

“Good…” He paused. “This is Prince Roan.” He gestured behind him.

Clarke looked to the man who looked to be distracted by one of her people. She followed his gaze to Raven and then looked back at him.

He had light brown hair down to his shoulders that was half pulled back. He had sharp features, and scar’s in the shape of a symbol on either side of his face. He was quite attractive she had to admit.

His head finally snapped towards Clarke and she couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. He looked slightly embarrassed for half of a second and then his face was serious.

“Roan of Azgeda.” He introduced himself. His voice was even deeper than the King’s.

“Clarke of Skaikru.” She replied, embracing the name the grounders had given her people. He bowed his head slightly at her.

“Wanheda.” He acknowledged. Clarke wanted to roll her eyes but she didn’t.

Nyko reached for a small bowl full of some plant that had been mushed up into a paste and started to spread it on her wounds.

Roan placed a hand on the King’s shoulder and said something in their language. The King nodded and Roan left the room. Clarke wanted to ask who he was, she had heard Octavia say something about Azgeda before and it sounded like she hated them. Before she could say anything the King spoke.

“I hear you’re a healer.” He observed. Nyko’s head snapped up.

“You’re a healer? You could help me and Lincoln.” He suggested excitedly. The King shot him a look and he put his head down quickly.

“I’d love too.” She said honestly and then looked to the King. “But we should figure out our… arrangement… before anything.”

“I agree.” He replied with something between a genuine smile and a smirk. “Usually its custom for everyone to eat together in the dining hall, but as dinner is approaching and we still need to talk, I figured we could let your people join our table with Octavia and me and you could eat somewhere a little more… private.” He grinned.

Clarke’s face got hot and she tried to look anywhere else. She focused on the bandages Nyko was wrapping around her wrists now.

“Sure, we have a lot to discuss.” She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

He chuckled as he stood to walk away.

“Wait!” She called after him. He turned and was still grinning at her. “Uh… What’s your name?”

“Bellamy.” He informed her, still grinning as he walked away.

 

After they were all finished up in medical, they were shown to their rooms. Clarke went with everyone to see where all her people would be. It was all one hallway and there were tons of doors. But they found out that they would actually be sharing. When they entered the big room they saw lots of beds placed in different parts of the room with warm looking furs and blankets on them. The second room was the same. There were dressers full of clothes in each room that her people wasted no time in looking through to find something clean to wear.

By Clarkes quick counting she figured each room had about 20 to 25 beds, maybe more. They all split into two groups.

“Clarke, you should sleep in our room!” Raven offered excitedly. Clarke liked that her people seemed more or less comfortable here, even if they were still wary of the guards who followed them around.

Clarke was about to agree when the guard that was assigned to her spoke up.

“Actually, the King has requested that the Skaiheda has her own room.” He informed.

Raven looked bummed to say the least.

“Why?” Raven sounded sceptical. Clarke just sighed.

“Don’t worry about it. Bellamy and I are talking tonight, and after that we’ll have a clearer picture of what’s going to be happening long term.” She assured her friend.

“Bellamy?” Raven questioned.

“Yeah, the King.”

“Well I’ll come. Miller too, we can help-“

“Actually…” She interrupted. “He want’s a private meeting. Just the two of us.” She finished. A range of facial expressions painted Raven’s face as she thought over the information, and she landed on worry.

“Is that safe for you?” she asked Clarke quietly.

“Yes.” She lied. She honestly had no idea if it was safe for her but she didn’t feel threatened by him either, so who knew.

 

Everyone split into the two rooms and got familiar with them before dinner. Clarke still hadn’t seen her room yet, she was too busy making sure her people were at ease and settled. She had been finding clothes for the younger children, answering small questions and working around the many, many guards in the rooms to make sure her people were all accounted for and as content as they could be. They were also shown to bathing rooms where there were walls that cut off with copper baths in the middle and a stove that heated water in the centre of the room. Clarke didn’t get to use it though; she was making sure her people were all taken care of first. She knew she probably didn’t need to but she did anyway. Unfortunately by the time the time dinner was ready she still hadn’t washed.

 

On their way to the dinner hall Clarke apologized to her guard for making him run around so much with her and she was surprised when she actually got a genuine looking smile from him. Clarke took that opportunity to ask what his name was. It was Manuel. She thought the name seemed too innocent for the man when he wasn’t smiling.

Clarke realized that her and Bellamy hadn’t actually agreed on where they’d be eating, so she figured she’d just follow the group to the dining hall and see if he was there waiting for her.

When she entered the huge room there were already tons of people in there. She scanned for either Bellamy or Octavia but couldn’t find them. Just then she felt a rough hand touch the small of her back. It shot a tingle up her spine.

“There you are, Princess.” Bellamy beamed. Clarke felt herself get awkward instantly at his touch and that nickname. She noticed that he’d changed from last time she saw him, he was dressed in a black t-shirt that hugged his form and black pants. He didn’t look as much like a King now.

“ _Princess_?” She mused. He didn’t answer her. It was very loud all around them; Trikru and Skaikru were talking amongst themselves and the echo of their voices in the large hall was a lot.

“ _Hosh op_!” _Silence!_   Bellamy’s low voice boomed through the room like thunder and everyone fell quiet, even her own people. Clarke was amazed. There were a few more moments of silence until everyone’s eyes were on the King. When he spoke again his voice was regal; it was one that demanded attention and yet somehow you could find comfort in.

“Tonight, we honour our guests. Skaikru…” He moved his hand from Clarke’s lower back to her shoulder. “And the hope of a new alliance.” He looked around at his people before looking at Clarke, searching her face. When he spoke it was just as loudly as he had before, but he never looked away from Clarke’s eyes.

 

“Gon gedanes.” _To unity_.   He finished

“Gon gedanes.” His people repeated after their King.

Clarke wanted so, so badly to be able to look away from his gaze when people started moving around again and finding their places at tables, but she couldn’t. She found herself wanting to figure this man out. It was Octavia who broke their gaze with the sound of her clearing her throat. That broke the tension and when they looked to Octavia, she was looking at Clarke.

“Your people are safe with me. Tonight they’ll eat at our table while you two… talk.” She said this all with a mischievous grin. Clarke felt a twist in her gut. All they were going to be doing was talking… she hoped that was evident to Bellamy, too.

“Thank you, O.” Bellamy said. She nodded and turned to direct Clarke’s people to a table at the front.

“Shall we?” He gestured to the exit and his hand found its way to her back again. Under other circumstances Clarke would have stopped someone from touching her this way, but she found she almost wanted to lean into it.

 

They walked in silence for quite a while until they were in a new hallway that Clarke hadn’t seen yet. This one was made of dark bricks and the ceiling was curved into the walls. There were windows along the hallway looking out to the ocean, which they could hear, and the setting sun beamed into the windows and onto the brick. Clarke realized in that moment that she loved the ocean, it sounded so soothing for being such a powerful thing.

 

Clarke broke the silence with a question as they walked.

“What did the words mean that you said in the dining hall? Gon…” she tried.

“Gon gedanes.” He corrected. He just stared at her while they walked. “It’s a phrase, like a toast almost. It means, ‘To unity.’”

Clarke smiled at that, letting her eyes fall to the floor in front of her as she walked. Her father believed in unity more than anything. Being strong with and for each other. Its what he died for.

They came to the end of the hallway and a wooden door with engravings all over it.

“Here we are.” He declared as he opened the door.

The room was large, (that seemed to be a theme in this castle) and just like the rest of the castle it had designs on the walls and in every corner. It was dimly lit but Clarke noticed a painting of a very beautiful woman who looked like Octavia, only older. She saw a fairly large bookcase on one wall that was jam-packed full of old books. Windows with thick red drapes covering them circled the room. There was a huge chandelier on the further end of the room and beneath it… _Oh._

There was his bed. They were in his room. Clarke’s heart began to run a little faster.

“Um, I don’t know if you… I’m _not_ going to-“ She started to protest in panic but then Bellamy placed his hands on her arms and turned her to a desk with a sigh and gestured to two full plates of food and cups of liquid.

“Oh, sorry.” She muttered embarrassed.

He just chuckled. “Relax princess.” His voice seemed a few octaves lower than usual.

“Why are you calling me Princess?”

He didn’t answer, only walked to her chair and pulled it back, gesturing for her to sit. She did.

Clarke was absolutely floored when she felt his hands in her hair. She inhaled sharply and he was perfectly quiet behind her. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t get her breath out. He pulled her hair all the way back, Clarke shivered at the feeling, and grabbed something off the table. He was putting her hair back in a low pony. After he finished he walked around to the front of her and sat down in his own chair like what he’d done was perfectly normal.

“Thank you.” She mumbled. He nodded slightly, looking at his food and moving a few things around on the table to make a little more room.

“Where you come from, aren’t you a Princess?” He asked. Clarke was very taken back and confused before she remembered what they’d been talking about before all… that.

“Oh, no… we have Government, not royalty. A chancellor not a King.” She explained.

“So you’re the chancellor then.” He assumed.

“No. My mom was on the council though. I was too young to do anything like that.”

“But you’re the leader of your people now.” He stated factually.

“Well yes, but… In my mind the people there and the people here are separate now. The ones on the ground are my people.”

“Hmm.” He looked deep in thought. “So what happens when the rest come down?”

“They won’t come down.” Clarke’s answer didn’t miss a beat, her voice solemn.

“How can you be sure?” He prodded.

“Because they’re dead.” She shot back, frustrated now.

“You know that for a fact?” He sounded sceptical of Clarke, and she thought his question seemed like a stupid one.

“Yes.” She looked at him like he was crazy and his face looked uncertain so she took a deep breath before explaining. “I was… Well…” She struggled to find a place to start the story. “My people and I were prisoners in the sky. On the ark, when you’re over the age of 18 and commit any crime, they float you.”

“Float you?” He questioned.

“Yeah… they put you in a room that opens into space, and it kills you. Its an execution.” She thought that would be the simplest way to describe it. “Anyway…” she continued, “When you commit a crime under the age of 18 you’re locked up until you’re of age and then they put you on trial. If they think you deserve a second chance then your crimes are pardoned. If not, you float. All 100 were under age, except Raven who came down by herself after.”

She paused to steady her breath as she dived into the next part.

“My father found out the ark was dying… and he wanted to tell everyone. They found out what he wanted to do and he was charged with treason.” She looked at Bellamy now for the first time and his eyes appeared understanding, completely devoted in her story. Her eyes stung as she remembered her father being sucked into the dark. Clarke breathed in sharply. She had to pull it together. She didn’t want him seeing her as weak.

“After that, they decided to use a dropship to send 100 of the only disposable people they had to the ground, with a promise that their crimes would be pardoned if they survived. And since we thought the ground wouldn’t be survivable for another 100 years we got a big surprise when our ship door opened and not only did the air not kill us, but then to find out there were others.” He looked down when she said this, because he knew what happened after that.

“Once Raven came down we had actual communication with the ark for a little while until their end went silent after talk of a possible uprising. We saw our exodus ship crash the next day and there were no survivors. But from what we saw, it wasn’t carrying all our people. The oxygen would have run out by then on the ark… so anyone who wasn’t dead on the ground is dead in the sky.” She finished.

Clarke couldn’t make sense of his expression, but it changed quickly and he pushed her plate to her, changing the subject.

“Eat, you must be hungry.” He offered quietly.

Clarke agreed and started to eat. Her eyes kept coming up to Bellamy who wouldn’t look at her. She thought this was a little weird.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered suddenly, looking at her now.

“What?”

“I’m sorry that you’ve been through all this. You’re strong, you know.” His face had no smug look, no mocking or laughter. He was completely sincere.

Here in this moment, in the dim light, he didn’t look like the King of a deadly tribe or a ruler. He just looked like a young man with a kind heart. Clarke felt something in her stomach flutter. She smiled back at him and took a sip of her drink. She was pretty sure it was wine, they knew what it was on the ark, but she’d never tried it before. She really liked it.

 

“So, what do you expect of my people if we… get married.” She decided to just say the words out loud. If this was going to be a reality she may as well get used to it.

The kind and boyish demeanour Bellamy had before vanished and his signature smirk painted back on his face. He was still just as handsome this way.

“Well, first of all, you would be Queen.” He pointed out. Clarke had not thought about that… her mouth dropped open a bit and he laughed at her.

“I… didn’t even think about that.” She mumbled.

“Once you are Queen we will rule our people fairly. Your people will become mine and my people will become yours.”

“But what do you _expect_ of my people?” She reiterated. He hadn’t really answered the question.

“They will join life here just as everyone else. Only a few would continue to stay in the castle. The rest would find homes in the villages and integrate them selves into our society. It’ll be a shift for them, I’m sure, to learn our ways. But it would be worth it.” He assured.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him. There was a catch.

“What do _you_ get out of my people joining yours?” she scolded. He was expecting this.

He took his time, looking at her as he took a gulp of his wine.

“Numbers, fighters, and hopefully the edge of technology that your people seem to understand more than any other clan.”

“Why, is there an impending war I don’t know about?” She prodded.

“No, there isn’t. But I’d like to be prepared, as any smart ruler would.” He argued.

She wasn’t totally buying it.

“What else.” She demanded. He sighed a chuckle.

“In the early days of your arrival, word spread very quickly of the Sky people. Healers are coveted people. When the Spies reported that their golden haired leader was a really good healer it seemed like an easy choice. And then after the ring of fire it was pretty clear you were quite the warrior as well.” He grinned, eyes skimming over her.

She fought a blush. Wanting to keep her poker face.

“And?” She wanted all the facts.

“And…” A wicked smile spread over his face revealing all of his teeth and his eyes dove right into hers. “And I guess the idea of a golden haired Queen who could lift my warriors in ranks, give my clan more numbers, heal our people, and give my bloodline a future child was just too much to resist.” He looked proud of himself.

Clarke practically choked. Any semblance of her poker face was gone.

She really wanted to say something but she didn’t get to. His low, booming laugh at her reaction cut her off.

“Make no mistake Princess, if we follow through in this marriage it will be real. Not just for show. I require devotion, just as I intend to give to you. You would be mine, and I yours.” He stressed.

“Oh.” Was all she managed to choke out.

He gave her time to take this all in. They sat in silence for about 10 minutes and Clarke finished as much of her meal as she could while she thought everything over.

When she was done she leaned back in her chair. Thinking everything over. Its not like she wasn’t attracted to him, that was no problem, and she figured she was lucky that it wasn’t. But she didn’t know him either. He seemed like a good person, but in the grand scheme of things she really didn’t know. His people respected him; that was clear. They seemed to have a healthy fear of him, which was good.

Most importantly she actually found that she trusted him. She hadn’t expected to, but she trusted his reasons for wanting Skaikru to join them. And looking back she respected and trusted the choices that he’d made right from the start of their arrival. But him and his people were two different stories.

“How can I know that none of your people will try to kill mine?” Her question broke through the silence, finally. There was no joking on his face now.

“They will follow my law’s because if they don’t it is an attack against me, the alliance, and Trikru. They would pay with their lives, and they know that. My protection extends as much to your people as it does to mine once the blood bond solidifies the alliance.” He promised.

Clarke nodded slowly, still deep in thought and considering all his words.

She thought about his respect for unity. The safe haven on this island they were being offered. She thought of the hope that her people had started to feel. Sure, they had concerns, but no one seemed scared which was a first. This wasn’t just how she saved her people; this was how she let them truly _live_.

“Okay.” She agreed.

His head snapped up to look at her.

“Okay?” He was a little bewildered.

“Yes to the alliance. Yes to the marriage.” She clarified. She hadn’t expected it but she actually felt happy.

A huge smile plastered his face and he stood up suddenly pushing his chair back.

“This is what you want?” He questioned once more.

“Yes.” Clarke was taken back by how true that was. This is what she wanted. This would be good.

“ _Muchof gon hayons_!” _Thanks to the god’s!_   He shouted with a smile, raising his arms up to the ceiling.

Clarke was standing now, too, smiling at how happy he was when all of a sudden his arms were on her waist lifting her into the air and spinning her. He put her back down and his eyes were more alive than she’d ever seen them. She had not expected this reaction out of him.

“Let’s go tell everyone.” Bellamy beamed, grabbing her hand pulling her towards the door.

“No, no wait.” She stopped him, and he turned towards her, his face questioning.

“I look awful,” She laughed gesturing at herself. “And I smell even worse from the ship. We’ll tell them tomorrow once I’ve washed. Please.” She wasn’t about to go tell his and her people about the new alliance like this. Based on the way his body relaxed he understood.

Still holding onto her hand he turned to her and came closer to her than he’d ever been before. She looked up into his dark eyes as his free hand came to brush her already blushing cheek. She couldn’t help but lean into his hand.

“Of course, Princess.” He murmured. “Let me take you to your room.”

 

They walked back out into the hallway and this time it was much darker without the sun to light it up, but Bellamy seemed to know exactly where he was going. They got into the main part of the castle and went down another hallway, she thought it was close to where her people’s rooms were but she wasn’t totally sure.

He pulled her to a door and opened it, letting her walk in first. This room seemed cosier than the others. There was a large bed with warm furs that Clarke couldn’t wait to sleep in. A separate part of the room had something that resembled a washroom. Bellamy walked over to it as Clarke walked around the room studying the paintings on the walls and the beautiful furniture.

“You’re bath was prepared for you but its cold now so I’ll have to heat some water up.” Bellamy informed her.

“Okay.” Clarke called back at him. She thought it was good of him to do it himself and not ask someone to come do it this late instead. She heard running water and walked over to the washroom. There was an actual sink that had real running water, but she assumed it was cold. In the corner was the same wood stove as she saw in the other bathing room. Bellamy was grabbing buckets and placing them on the stove that seemed to be lit already. Clarke figured it would take a few minutes so she walked back into the bedroom.

There was a dresser by her bed so she decided to see if there were clothes she could choose from. To her excitement there was, and she sorted through them all, finding something she could wear to sleep in after her bath.

She found a large dark blue t-shirt she figured would come down far enough on her and some underwear that looked like shorts and took them out to sit them on the bed. She lay down at the foot of her bed and closed her eyes, she felt like she could just fall asleep right then until she felt the bed move. She turned her body around to see Bellamy sitting on the other side of the bed staring at her with a smile on his face.

“It’s ready.” He told her.

She got up and walked to the washroom, and he was right behind her. He showed her the soap for her hair and body and then left the washroom. She figured he’d left the room altogether so she removed her clothes and got into the bath. The warm water felt incredible. She wasted no time washing herself from head to toe with the soap. She was just sitting in the bath now trying to work the tangles out of her hair when she saw someone standing by the entrance to the bathroom. She jumped and gasped at the same time.

“Bellamy!” She yelled at him. He just laughed.

She was very self-conscious then and looked to the water. The dark copper of the tub made the water dark enough that he wouldn’t see her and the film that the soap left on the top of the water helped too.

“Let me help you.” He offered.

Clarke didn’t have time to argue before he was already walking towards her. He grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and brought it to her back. He sat down behind her and his hands were working through the knots in her hair in no time. Somehow he was way better at it than her.

She couldn’t help but feel the intimacy of the situation and was all too aware of her naked body only being hidden by the water; but despite the situation she felt oddly comfortable. It was strange to think only this morning that they were strangers.

Clarke pulled her hands up out of the water and rested her elbows on the sides of the tub so she could peak underneath the bandages on her wrists. It was incredible how much better it looked already. Clarke knew her wounds needed to breath so she slowly unwrapped the bandages and examined her wrists more closely. Bellamy’s hand went from her hair to her neck and trailed all the way down to her arm to her hand, making goose bumps rise on her skin. His chin was resting on the tub beside her head; he was practically bent over her. He traced his finger gently over her wrist beside the wound in a way that didn’t hurt.

Clarke closed her eyes and leaned against the back of the tub, sinking into it more.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Clarke.” He whispered to her.

“It’s not your fault, Bellamy.” She whispered back.

He only sighed in response. His breath trailed down her neck and over her chest, making a heat grow in her lower belly. She arched her head back into his shoulder and he seemed to catch onto the effect he was having because a low chuckle came out of him that Clarke could feel the reverberation of. He pulled away then, standing and walking out of the room.

She felt a little hurt by the sudden loss and didn’t really know what to do with herself.

He came back in only a few seconds later with her new clothes and placed them on the chair that he’d been sitting on. He leaned down to Clarke, hands holding onto the sides of the tub, half bent over her.

“I’ll come to get you in the morning. When we go to breakfast we’ll tell our people then.” He told her. She smiled at him. Her eyes were heavy and her movements lazy.

 “Sounds like a plan, My King.” She said tauntingly.

He just chuckled again and before Clarke really registered what was happening he leaned his head down to hers and kissed her forehead. He stayed there for a second after while Clarke grew still under him.

“Goodnight, Princess.” He whispered. With that he pushed himself up and turned to leave her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading and leaving comments! It means a lot to see people enjoying this story. I know theres no real schedule to when I post, but let me know if you would like one!


	8. How we get to peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people! I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. But here it is! If you want you can follow me on twitter! @AtiaJoyR
> 
> Thanks for reading, and leave comments if you're enjoying it! I love reading what people think as they're following the story.

Chapter 8 – How we get to peace

 

 

 

 

When Clarke woke up the next morning she took in the sunlight pouring onto her bed from the window behind it. She was so comfortable, not even the beds on the ark had been this comfortable. She knew where she was, but she felt a little dazed. She had to really focus in on her thoughts to figure out what had even happened yesterday so she started from the morning and began to recount the day. They got off the boat. They came to the castle. They met the King, they went to medical, saw their rooms, went to dinner, Bellamy-

“Ugh.” Clarke groaned at herself and shoved her face into her pillow blushing. She couldn’t believe herself. She had a goal here. Her people needed her. They reached an agreement, and Clarke had to remind herself that that’s all it was.

_It’s an agreement, an alliance, nothing more._

She got up out of bed and went to the washroom. After, she rummaged through her dresser to find some clothes to wear. There was a pair of black pants that looked like they’d fit her, and a long-sleeved navy blue shirt. She put them on, and placed the baggy shirt that she slept in on top of the dresser.

The door opened slowly then and a head of black curls peaked in. They smiled softly at each other before Bellamy walked in.

“I thought you’d still be sleeping.” He said gesturing to the bed she was making now.

“I’m up.” She remarked quietly.

“You know the attendants will do that.” He pointed out. She just shook her head as she smoothed the blankets over and looked at the bed proudly.

“Now they won’t have to.” She pointed out.

He smiled at her big and she thought it looked genuine with a side of amusement. It was only there for a second before he sighed, and then his whole persona changed entirely.

“Okay. So, I’ll take you to the dining hall and we’ll make the announcement there. Are you prepared to deal with your people? Do we need to worry about anyone in particular?” He questioned. Clarke thought about it, and Finn’s face came to mind. She thought that that’s probably what Bellamy was thinking about too. His outburst in the throne room was stupid, but she was sure he wouldn’t do anything that they’d actually need to take action against.

“I’m prepared to deal with them in whatever manner is best suited, but I don’t think anyone will cause any problems.” She concluded. He nodded in response. “What about your people?” She thought if anything they would be the most upset.

“They _will_ accept it.” He said shortly. When he said this Clarke saw the man before her now not as Bellamy, or the guy who’d been so soft as to help her untangle her hair. This man was a King. A ruler.

“Okay.” She didn’t fight him on that, sure that he was more than capable of handling his own people.

His eyes seemed darker and his face looked stern. She thought of the contrast in attitude from the other night when she had told him she’d go through with the alliance. That happiness seemed all but gone.

_Maybe he realised the truth of this, that he’s actually stuck with me_. She thought.

She tried to push that thought out of her head the second it made her feel worse than she wanted it too.

 

They left her room and were walking side by side to the dining hall. She realized it was in fact the same hallway as her friend’s rooms when a door opened and Raven walked out looking very distracted and angry. She looked like she’d just been in a heated argument with someone, and it all made sense when Clarke saw Finn walk out after her. Raven completely ignored him and walked out of the hallway towards the dining hall not even noticing Clarke or Bellamy. Finn, however, did not take long to notice them.

“Clarke,” He greeted, surprised. He looked extremely worried while he looked between them and Clarke thought she saw a little disgust when he looked at Bellamy. “What’s going on?” He asked sceptically. Clarke was aware of Bellamy looking down at her through the corner of his eyes, probably waiting to see how she’d handle this.

“Finn,” She greeted as they came to stand in front of him. “We’re headed to the dining hall. Is everyone out of the rooms?” She asked looking towards the doors.

“Yeah, they’re all in the dining hall already.” He said surely. “Raven and I were jus-“

“Good.” She interrupted, ignoring him. She loved Raven and felt for her pain when it came to her ex, but she didn’t want to hear Finn go on about it and continue to make excuses for the things he did to both of them.

“There’s an announcement to be made. Get to the dining hall.” She ordered sternly. Every time she had to talk to him she just felt angry.

Finn didn’t go; he just shifted his weight and glared between them.

“Now, Finn.” She commanded.

Still, he didn’t move. His eyes were only on Clarke now, as if he was trying to communicate with her through them. Clarke met his gaze with a closed off and unrelenting stare, unwilling to take his bait.

He opened his mouth to say something to her and in an instant Bellamy’s hand was on her lower back and he was talking instead.

“Your _heda_ gave you an order.” He asserted coldly, his authority and the tension in his body pouring out through his deep voice.

Finn’s eyes finally moved from Clarke’s to Bellamy’s. He looked defeated, and looked back to Clarke once more for some form of support; When he found none he finally sighed and turned to walk off quickly, looking very hurt. _Serves him right._ She thought.

After he turned the corner a few seconds later Bellamy’s hand left her back and they continued to walk, a little more leisurely this time.

“He loves you.” Bellamy observed in a monotone voice, looking at her now.

Clarke just kept her eyes in front of her and kept walking. When it was clear she wasn’t going to respond to that Bellamy continued.

“Are you his?” He asked with a little more acidity in his voice.

Clarke nearly stopped. “Absolutely not.” She scoffed.

He thought only for a second before prodding further.

“Were you once?”

Clarke actually stopped this time and they both turned to face each other.

“Why do you want to know?” She inquired callously. His eyes burned into hers, narrowing, turning darker with something that could be confused with two very different emotions.

“Because you will be mine very soon, and I will not share.” He growled darkly.

A small but wicked smile took over her lips. Clarke took a step closer to him, into the fog of tension that surrounded them, all the while holding his gaze, her fierce demeanour unwavering.

“And neither will I, my King.” She seethed at him with raging endearment. She saw the corner of his mouth turn up and at that she turned away from him and walked to the dining hall aware that his eyes were searing into her the whole time. She felt satisfaction burn through her.

 

When she walked into the dining hall it was busier than it had been yesterday. People were speaking over each other and trying to fit around limited tables. It looked like there were more people in here than it was meant for. She wondered why for a moment but realized Bellamy had probably called for them to be there in light of the announcement.

Clarke scanned the room and saw a group of familiar faces at a table on the other side of the room. Clarke assumed she’d have to push her way through the grounders that were mostly twice her size, even the majority of the woman, but to her surprise every one of them stepped out of her way the second they saw her. She couldn’t place the facial expressions they all had, and it wasn’t just because of the tattoo’s that covered their faces. She ignored the questions she had going through her head and approached her people’s table. Octavia was with them and she was the first one to notice Clarke. Octavia came to stand by her with a sly grin.

“Congratulations, Wanheda.” She leaned to her so only Clarke would hear.

“Bellamy told you already?”

“He did, this morning.” She confirmed.

All of a sudden she felt a hand on her lower back again. She still wasn’t used to being touched like that.

“You ready?” Bellamy asked her.

“Yes.” She answered confidently.

He kept his hand on her back as he guided her up to the front of the room, Octavia right behind them. There was a table with some people already at it. She recognized Manuel, her guard from yesterday. He gave her an almost friendly nod and Clarke smiled at him. Roan was the only other person she recognized, sitting at the chair beside Bellamy’s royal looking one, and there were just a few other men sitting down that she was pretty sure were guards.

Bellamy pulled back the chair for her and she sat. Bellamy took his seat next to her and Octavia came to sit on the other side, grinning slightly. They were looking out to the rest of the room.

Bellamy leaned behind Clarke to get Octavia’s attention.

“The guards are placed throughout the room?” He questioned.

“Yes, Bell. I took care of it. This will be fine.” She assured.

Octavia sat forward again and Bellamy turned his eyes to Clarke. Clarke just met them and nodded. This was it.

Bellamy looked nervous for a half a second while he stared into her eyes and then it was gone and he was the King again. No fear, not to be questioned. He stood up from his chair and the room went a lot quieter just from that, but not totally quiet.

“Shof op!” _Silence!_  Bellamy called out to the hall, his voice reverberating off the walls and echoing through the space like booming thunder once again. He had every last persons attention now and waited a moment before starting.

“Today, we are joined by our guests, Skaikru, in hopes of a new alliance.” As he said this he placed a hand on Clarke’s upper arm and somehow she knew this meant for her to stand. She was shaky as she stood but once she was planted on her feet she took a quick breath and felt steadier. She heard her father’s voice tell her to be strong inside her head and she held onto that, letting it build stone through her limbs, chasing away the weakness that she felt.

“This place is a safe haven from the mountain men, and a fortress of solitude for those seeking a better life away from petty wars. We have all come here seeking not just peace, but unity. Here, our clans come together. The commander gave us all a start on this land, a chance to be diverse in our past, but the same in our blood. We are one clan, one people.” Clarke found herself lost in him as he spoke. He seemed just like her father. He was a great leader too.

“Today we gather with Skaikru,” He looked at Clarke momentarily and unwilling to her, her breath caught. “To break the fast of the night with shared food, and to break the war’s of yesterday with shared unity. And today… to celebrate an alliance to come.” Clarke heard a few gasps and a few small voices exchange words before it fell silent again the moment Bellamy put his hand up, signalling that he wasn’t done talking yet.

“Last night, Clarke kom Skaikru, the great Wanheda, agreed to my offer of a blood bond. In a week’s time we will have our ceremony, and our people will be unified as one. Our laws extend to them, and they will fall into our society to build a life for themselves as each and every one of you have done.” He was still sounding very sure of himself, in complete control. It helped her to keep her own composure.

There were a few of his people who were talking amongst themselves at this information, giving a few looks and glancing towards Skaikru sceptically, but to Clarke’s surprise it was actually her people who were having the most severe reaction in the room. They were shouting questions and comments to each other, looking worried, a couple even looked a little angry, but mostly they were just unsure. There were some like Monty, Raven and Harper who just looked like they were trying to calm the rest of them down and tell them this was good but it wasn’t working. Clarke knew this was her responsibility to fix now, and she felt more than a little irritated at how loud her people were getting.

“Skaikru!” She roared out.

She was nearly floored when the room went silent, just as it did when Bellamy called attention. She kept her composure even with the shocking response she’d gotten and went on.

“Control yourselves.” She ordered in warning. She let hope into her voice… inspiration, as she continued. “I made a promise to you all that I would do what is best for us, to keep us alive; and this is that way. This provides us safety, a chance at a real life, not just survival. It wipes our slates clean of our past and lets us start fresh.”

“These people hate us.” One of the boys, Bryan, called out.

“They’ve murdered over _half_ of us, Clarke.” Another girl said.

Clarke was about to respond but instead Bellamy did.

“The people here have no reason to hate you. The Trikru on the mainland who were involved in the attacks against your people are not these ones. We all come from differing clans and opposite sides of war. The law here is that when you join my people, you do not bring that with you. I am giving you a choice to either lay down your empty past and contribute to a future, or leave the island to go back to the mainland where you will have no help from us, and you will not be welcomed back again.” He finished sternly.

His words sunk into the room, everyone, even the grounders, listening and paying attention to every word and the reactions they brought.

“Clarke, we’re worried about you too. You can’t get married to him and ruin your life just to save ours.” Finn pleaded.

Bellamy looked as though he was about to pounce across the room and stick a knife through Finn.

Clarke spoke loudly and clearly, with no room for argument.

“The King is not a threat to any of us, me included. I _want_ for this alliance to go through. I trust him.” She concluded.

A few voices started to acknowledge Clarke’s words. Vocalizing her trust in him had a positive effect on most of them. Not Finn though.

“You can’t be serious.” Finn insisted louder now.

“Enough!” She yelled with finality, silencing them again. She spoke only slightly quieter than she had before as she went on. “I am serious Finn, this is what is happening; and if you don’t feel as though you can live by these rules you’ve been told where you’ll go. If anyone has a disagreement with this more than fair alliance, speak now.”

Scanning her eyes over their faces she knew they were all okay with this now. Her eyes stopped on Finn and she thought his gaping mouth might say something, but he closed it in defeat and his eyes retreated to the floor. All her people looked at each other as if they were coming to a conclusion with only their eyes.

“This place, this beautiful Island, this is how we _live_. How we get to contribute to not only surviving, but also truly building our own life. A life we get to plan for and work for, with the actual promise of something better. Not just false hope.” She preached.

Miller stood up and spoke to the table with authority and conviction.

“This is how we get to peace.” He assured.

The group nodded in agreement. This was what was best. Clarke noticed the way Bellamy’s people were all staring at the exchange, but she kept her focus on her own people. The only one Clarke noticed that didn’t start to look happy or relieved was Finn, but she could deal with him.

She half spoke to Bellamy and half to all the eyes that were still on her.

“Then its settled,” Clarke finalized. “This alliance will be solidified through marriage, a blood bond, and our people will be one.”

Bellamy picked up his cup and raised it to the room.

“To unity! _Gon gedanes_!” The room repeated after him, standing and picking up their glasses, Clarke as well, and she noticed that most of her people repeated the saying too.

 

The air was a little uncertain as the food came and everyone was coming to terms with the new arrangement, but once the hushed whispers subsided, laughter replaced it. As everyone started to eat she felt warmth run through her at hearing laughs and seeing smiles. The 100 had been happy when they hit the ground, sure. They were all having sex and living it up, drinking Monty’s moonshine no matter what time of day… but they were never truly relaxed. They never once had felt… safe. But now as they sat in front of full plates and had a safe place that had just been promised to them, it was as if she was seeing a whole different side to her people, and she knew that small hope and trust in them would only grow the more they were all here and settled in. Once Clarke had finished her meal she looked around the room to all the people that would soon be hers, too. They looked completely different to her than they had before as well. Physically they were still the same, but they seemed very human here in this place, with their friends and loved ones. It was crazy how much Clarke’s perception had changed of them since Polis, but especially since being here. She was so lost in thought at the beauty of all the people she didn’t realize someone was trying to talk to her.

“Clarke?” Bellamy said her name again, putting his hand on her leg to get her attention. It worked well because a zap of electricity went through her body at his touch, but she tried to ignore it.

“Sorry,” She mumbled.

“You okay?” He asked quietly, leaning in closer to her.

“Yeah, fine. Just… taking all this in, I guess.” She sighed and smiled softly as she met his eyes. “A lot has changed in the last few days. I know my people feel the same way.” She explained.

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Octavia and I would like to take all of you on a tour of the castle and show you the place.”

“Yeah! That would be great.”

“Okay good, we’ll go after everyone’s done eating…” He trailed off, hesitating. “With the guards, though. I’ll limit their numbers but they’ll stay until the ceremony, when the alliance is final.”

“I understand. I’d do the same.” She said nodding. He smiled at that slightly and went to talking in his native tongue with Roan who was on the other side of him.

She took that opportunity to turn to Octavia and ask her a question.

“What’s the deal with Roan?”

“Roan? He’s here from Azgeda.” She said blandly. Something told Clarke she wouldn’t be getting a straight answer from Octavia.

“Well… I knew that but why?”

“Ready?” Bellamy cut in.

“Uhm, yeah sure.” Clarke agreed, giving Octavia one last look out the corner of her eye.

 

They explained to their people what was going to happen and they all went along somewhat excitedly for the most part, which surprised Clarke. Bellamy began to lead the way through the castle and Roan tagged along. Raven positioned herself by Clarke and they walked together. They started in the dining hall and took their time in the kitchen on the east side of the castle as well as the hallways of rooms where the attendants slept. The throne room was central to the castle, at the front, and they got a good look at the beauty of it now that the stakes weren’t so high. Clarke was amazed by the artwork of the building and the paintings. They moved on from there after Murphy had sat in the King’s throne and put on a phony accent. One look from Bellamy was all it took for Murphy to hop off quickly and it triggered a few laughs from everyone.

Their rooms and the bathrooms were to the west, which some people were using quickly. While everyone was waiting they went over to the next hallway to the north where the med bay was. Roan ended up standing beside Raven and was asking her what she thought about the castle so far, and said something about how he bet she’d like his; Clarke could see the twinkle in Raven’s eye and the tone of her voice change at Roan’s mischievous smile so she stepped aside to let them talk. Roan didn’t seem like a bad guy, scary maybe, but not bad. There were still so many unanswered questions that she wanted to know the answers to.

Clarke walked into the med bay by herself to look around. Now that it was empty Clarke could really take it all in. It was pretty cool in there, some of the stuff she recognized but some of it she didn’t. She was excited to hopefully learn.

“Have you always been a healer?” Bellamy’s voice asked from the doorway. She jumped; she hadn’t realized he was there.

“Sorry.” He apologized with a sheepish grin.

“Its okay,” She breathed. “Yeah, well, my mom was the best doctor on the ark,” She began, stepping around the room grazing her hand over certain things that intrigued her. “And because she was also on the council I was expected to be a certain way. Politics never sat well with me, so I chose to spend most of my time in the med bay.” She explained. She turned to look at him and couldn’t quite make out his facial expression… she felt dumb that she’d just rambled on about stuff he probably didn’t care to know.

“Sorry, don’t mean to bore you.” She mumbled and he smiled hugely at her, laughing a little. She lifted her hand and pretended to scratch her head to hide the blush that flooded her cheeks.

“I’m not bored, Clarke.” He spoke slowly as he sauntered over to her. Clarke wasn’t sure when he’d stop but his deep brown eyes were focused in on her as he got closer and closer and when he was right in front of her she took a step back, only to hit the wall. He wasn’t touching her, but his body was so close to hers, his face only inches away. She stared him down right back. She wanted some control here. She really was that stubborn.

“You fascinate me, ai hainofi.” _My princess._  He murmured to her.

Clarke couldn’t wait to learn this language so she knew what he said when he thought she didn’t know, and she decided right then and there not to tell him when she eventually did learn.

“Do I? How so?” She taunted.

“You are not like anyone I’ve met.” He grinned at her.

Her face fell then and she looked down before looking back up to his eyes that were dark with what she thought looked like desire. Trust in him, or an impending marriage, didn’t change the fact that they were still strangers.

“You don’t know me…” She reminded him in a whisper. “And I don’t know you, either… I’ve been through a lot, we all have, and my people come first.” She scanned his face for understanding and found it right away. He spoke with a whisper that matched hers.

“You need time.” He acknowledged with a quick nod. “I can give that to you.”

His hand rose to her cheek and grazed it, and she was sure he could feel how hot her face was underneath it.

Her belly twisted and she was about to protest, make a comment about how that type of thing didn’t classify as slow, when she heard a throat clear itself in the doorway to the med bay.

Octavia stood there with a knowing grin on her face.

“We’re all ready to continue on with the tour.” She said in too casual a voice.

 

The next room they visited wasn’t far from medical, just down the hall a bit. It was a barrack. A huge room that had mats on the floor for training, and the walls were lined with weapons upon weapons. At the centre of the back wall above a rack of finely crafted swords hung a beautiful painting with a gold frame. The man in the painting looked to be leading a war through 2 mountains on a horse as black as ash. The man had very short black hair that was shaven into a line down his head, and a chiselled face. He had this black mark that went down the centre of his forehead, and he was dressed in fine armour. She was about to ask Bellamy who it was in the painting until she examined the man’s eyes. Even though it was a painting, Clarke knew. It was Bellamy.

He was almost unrecognizable in the picture, and her eyes shot to the real Bellamy, who although still powerful and strong, looked nothing like the man in that picture.

He saw what she’d been looking at and his face looked completely closed off now. That was the face of someone who just wasn’t going to talk about it.

She chose not to say anything about it either and instead joined Miller.

“This place is incredible!” He exclaimed to her. Miller had been training to be a guard on the ark, and although he made some stupid choices that got him locked up, it suited him well. Clarke had seen him a lot on the ark and she knew he had the body and the mind-set for it and would be spending a lot of time in here.

“Whatcha say? Wanna fight?” Bryan walked up to Miller joking with him.

“Oh, you’re on, Bryan. I could take you on the ark and I still can now.” Miller laughed.

Clarke stepped away to leave them be when they started to play wrestle. She scanned for Raven, but when she found her Roan was showing her the bow and arrows while they gawked at each other. They were not being subtle.

 

They had spent most of the morning in the barrack before moving on, her people seemed pretty interested in it. They were going to head to the chapel and the music room but everyone was called for lunch. Clarke couldn’t believe it was already time to eat again.

_Who is this man?_ Clarke kept asking herself as they walked to the dining hall. The reality of the situation was starting to peak through her busy mind. That painting had just seemed so far from what she’d seen of him so far. Its like he was a different person, but he didn’t look much younger in the painting than he was now. It made her feel a little more unsettled. She was sure he wouldn’t hurt her in any way but she just wanted to figure him out.

 

Clarke didn’t take much food. She was still getting used to eating more than she had too. After everyone ate Clarke was headed to her people’s table when Nyko and Lincoln approached her.

“Clarke! Does this mean you’ll be joining us in med bay?” Lincoln asked.

“I’d love to. I was in there again today, I would love to learn about your methods!” She exclaimed.

“We could really use the help in there, things are too busy with only the two of us and it would be great if you were working as a healer before winter came.” Nyko explained.

Clarke smiled at that, and her attention focused in on the black haired girl practically skipping towards them. She was almost unrecognizable looking as happy as she did. Octavia hopped up behind Lincoln and grabbed the tattoo over his arm with a squeeze before standing next to Clarke.

“What are we talking about?” She mostly just asked Lincoln. Their bright smiles towards each other were blaringly obvious.

“We’re hoping Bellamy let’s Clarke join us in medical, we could use the help before winter.” Lincoln explained.

“Ha!” Octavia snorted. “In my experience he can be a _little_ protective so if that’s what you want I’d either have some tact in approaching the issue… or be prepared to get let down.” She advised.

Clarke thought back to his words about not wanting to share her this morning and figured there was probably some truth to what Octavia was saying. He did seem a little… Possessive? Protective? She wasn’t sure yet.

 

They were shown around the rest of the castle after lunch. The music room and the chapel were beautiful, as well as the gardens which everyone spent the afternoon enjoying. It seemed like they were all getting pretty comfortable on the castle grounds and it made her happy to see. Even Bellamy had a look of satisfaction in the garden when he watched everyone break off into groups and do their own thing. After that Clarke had been directed back to her room to take measurements for clothes and a dress that she would wear for the ceremony. Almost everyone else had decided to go back to the weapons room rather excitedly, and the guards followed them there.

 

The tailor worked over Clarke, taking her every measurement as she babbled on about how incredible the ceremonial dress was going to be. She was an old woman that looked to be partly blind, but her hands moved with expertise and when she worked she didn’t miss a thing. Clarke was trying not to get too nervous or think too much about what all this would mean for her and the man who’d be her husband soon, so instead she focused on asking friendly questions and changing the conversation to other things.

 

Dinner had come but Clarke hadn’t been too hungry and Bellamy told her she didn’t have to sit in the dining hall every meal if she didn’t want to, and that she was welcome to just grab something from the kitchen at any time.

So Clarke took advantage of that and grabbed an apple as she headed outside. She didn’t know where her guard was but she figured if it were important for her to have one at the moment, he’d be there. So she didn’t pay it too much mind.

She walked in a direction she hadn’t seen yet, but the path was beautiful and with the sun beginning to set through the trees she felt she could just keep on walking forever.

 

She came to a large log building in the middle of a field and she followed the path that led right into it. It was a stable for the horses. There had to be at least 40 of them in there. She took a few bites from her apple as she strolled through the middle. She said hello to a few and smiled at all of them. They were just so majestic.

There was one in particular that caught her eye. The horse was pure white, main and tale included. He practically glowed in the dark corner of his stall. Clarke couldn’t help but walk up to the stall door and click her tongue a few times, as she’d heard the grounders do before. The un-pigmented creature came towards her slowly.

“Hello beautiful boy.” She said as she reached her hand out. It didn’t take long for the horse to nudge its head into her hand and start reaching towards the apple that was in her other hand.

“You just want a snack.” She acknowledged playfully before she handed it to him flat in her hand. “Well here ya go. I didn’t really want the rest anyway.” She told the beast as it crunched away on the apple happily. Clarke rubbed her hand on its jaw as it moved and down the horse’s neck as far as she could reach over the door, giving it a light scratch.

“Making friends I see.”

Clarke jumped. He was leaning against the door of the barn, the setting sun creating a perfect silhouette of his body.

“Shit! Bellamy! You need to stop doing that to me.” She swore in frustration.

He just laughed at her and walked over.

“You shouldn’t come in here alone. They’re not all as friendly as Dyaus.”

“Dyaus, huh?” She acknowledged as she continued to pet him.

“He’s one of mine. He’s friendly towards people but sometimes a little too antsy around the other horses. He’s still young.” He explained.

“What does his name mean?”

“Dyaus? It’s Greek… Dyaus Pitr, it means ‘Sky Father’, or ‘God of Sky and Heaven.’”

Clarke got chills at that, and for some reason instantly thought of her own father.

“He was a deity,” He went on. “That was quoted in old scriptures with ‘Prithvi Mata’… ‘Mother Earth.” He revealed.

“Quite a parallel.” She uttered to the horse as she continued to pet him.

She was only partially aware that Bellamy’s eyes never left her.

“Let’s head back, Princess. It’s getting late.” He said quietly.

“Okay.” She agreed, patting Dyaus goodbye.

 

They walked back to the castle in silence, and Bellamy never left her side until they got to her bedroom door. He turned towards her and stared at her wistfully. Clarke was sure she was doing the same.

“Goodnight, Princess.” He murmured as he pushed some of her hair back from her face. It felt so nice… she leaned her head into his hand for only a second before she replied.

“Goodnight, Bellamy.” She whispered back before he turned to walk to his own room.

 

She changed quickly into her baggy shirt and once in bed she could only let her mind think about how soon she’d be married. Getting measured for the dress that day had made it only too real. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there thinking but eventually she drifted off, her exhaustion from the day getting the best of her.


	9. Demons

Chapter 9 – Demons

 

 

 

 

Bellamy seemed extra happy today for some reason. Clarke kept fighting with herself over breakfast to stop looking at him as he interacted with people, but she lost the fight every time. She was starting to pick up on little things about him. When he spoke in English his demeanour was typically stony and responsible, but in his comfortable native tongue he used his hands to talk. That’s when it was hard to keep her eyes off him because not only did the language fascinate her, but also the strange words sounded like poetry coming from his gravelly voice and with every gesture his biceps would roll under his tan skin.  She could tell he was pretty smug after he caught her looking at his arms, and then it was him who kept looking at her. Unlike Clarke though, he was unashamed of it.

They didn’t agree on going to any place in particular but they walked in silence to the chapel. Clarke walked around looking at all the paintings that hung from the walls and then let her eyes travel up the walls to the curves of the ceiling and the gold trimming. There were paintings on the ceiling that led down the wall to the back of the room, giving a jaw dropping background to the raised floor there.

She heard Bellamy walk up to her and turned to face him. He was holding his hands behind his back and his posture was straight. He looked like a soldier.

“You like art.” He speculated, probably noticing the wonderment all over her face.

She’d been in here yesterday but to be honest she just hadn’t been that focused on the actual rooms, mostly she had been trying to memorize the floor plan.

“Yeah, I do.” She smiled.

Bellamy smiled back at her, his hand swinging around him to grab hers.

“Come on, I want to show you something.” He announced excitedly. And then he was pulling her towards the other corner of the room. She could see the garden through the windows as they walked past them. They slipped through the back of the room into a short hallway that got darker as they walked and went into a room that Clarke could barely see a thing in even though it was midday. She took in a nervous breath while they slowed down to a stop and it was as if Bellamy knew because his hand tightened around hers in assurance.

She heard him push what sounded like a lock to the side. He let go of Clarke’s hand and she could tell that he was pulling on something as he let out a slight grunt.

All of a sudden there was a burst of coloured light and Clarke saw that he’d opened a very thick wooden door just a crack. He looked satisfied with himself at getting the large door open and smirked at her.

“In here.” He breathed.

He opened it up all the way and it took Clarke’s eye’s only a second to adjust to the light, but when they did she gasped in awe as she stepped forward.

It was a large hallway, completely made of dark grey stone. There were tall stained glass windows that came to a peak at the top and were trimmed in gold. The colours of the glass painted the near black walls and floors, and the sight amazed Clarke so much she thought she might cry. The glass melded into images of different people and scenery that Clarke didn’t recognize, but she wanted to spend forever memorizing. She’d never seen anything like this before. It almost resembled the stone hallway that led to Bellamy’s bedroom except that one hadn’t had the beautiful glass windows, but she wondered if it once did.

As she walked down the hallway slowly from window to window, Bellamy just stood there and watched her at a distance.

“This is incredible.” She whispered.

He stayed at the end of the hall, giving her time to look at every picture. When she went to the last one she realized there was more to the stone hallway. It led into a circular room that had worn out windows surrounding it and a dome ceiling. The stone was slightly lighter in this room than it was in the hallway that led to it, and it let in a lot more light. Clarke looked outside one of the clearest windows she could see and there were big tree’s surrounding the place. She was thinking that this must have backed onto the garden that they saw yesterday, but the trees had protected it from their sight.

As she walked around the room looking through the windows one of her steps sounded and felt a little different than normal. She looked down to see a wooden trap door on the floor. She looked up questioningly to Bellamy who was standing at the entrance to the round room now. His face gave away no answers, and before she got to ask a question he walked a little closer to her.

“You like it?” He guessed.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen anything like it.” She confessed.

He only smiled at her for a second.

“Come on, let’s go check on your people. We’ll stop by the kitchen and get you something to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.” She said as they started to walk out of the room and out of the hallway.

“You should eat.” He insisted firmly.

“No, really I’m fine.” She pushed back. They were back in the dark room now and he pushed the door shut and snapped the lock back into place before grabbing her arm and leading her through the dark room into the chapel.

“You’re eating Clarke.” He said with finality. He almost sounded angry, so Clarke just decided to give in.

“Fine.” She sighed.

 

They had gone to the kitchen and Bellamy had been trying to get her to eat some meat when Finn and two other boys walked in with three guards who looked bored to death following them.

Clarke took the awkward moment to grab a small apple and leave the room, Bellamy following closely behind her as he glared Finn down.

They were walking towards the main throne room when Bellamy finally said something.

“I don’t like him.” He said bluntly. Clarke couldn’t help but find that amusing.

“Neither do I.”

“Sad for him.” He mused.

She looked at him dryly.

“Obviously he loves you.” He pointed out.

“It’s in the past, and I don’t care.” She spat. “Please, stop bringing it up.” She added on. He looked a little surprised at her forcefulness but seemed to shake it off easily, and he didn’t continue to push the matter.

Clarke didn’t tell him where she was headed, she just walked through the halls eating her apple until she found the weapons room. A lot of her people were in there and there were even more guards.

She was starting to get a little annoyed at feeling like Bellamy was babysitting her, like she couldn’t take care of herself. _He doesn’t know anything._ She thought smugly.

As she walked around the room she watched her people wrestling and fighting each other. Raven was with Roan again who was showing her some moves with a sword. Her eyes drifted up to the painting of Bellamy again and she couldn’t help but try to make some sense of it. It seemed that Bellamy had noticed because he very obviously stepped in front of Clarke’s line of view.  
“They’re better than I thought they’d be.” He said, gesturing to Miller who was throwing punches at one of the bigger kids out of the 48. He was doing very well for being the smaller of the two. She nodded in acknowledgement as she turned to look at her friend, but it didn’t surprise Clarke; she’d seen him fight before. And not just on the ground.

“Are you that good?” He asked sarcastically.

Clarke turned on her heal to glare at him through narrowed eyes.

“Ye of little faith.” She shook her head as the corner of her mouth drew up.

He laughed loud. “You can fight like him, Wanheda?” He chuckled unbelievingly.

“I’ve learned a few things.” She admitted.

“Lets see!” He exclaimed as he moved onto the mats in the middle of the room. A few people noticed, including Miller, and they cleared the floor, moving to the walls to watch this unfold.

“You want me to fight you?” She asked surprised.

“I won’t even throw punches.” He promised with a huge smirk on his face. “We’ll just see how good _you_ are.” He taunted.

Oh, he was _on._ She was sure she was nowhere as good as him, but he didn’t know about the time she’d spent on the ark. When she hadn’t been in med bay with her mom or doing something with her dad, she and Wells often snuck off to a secluded wing of the ship that kids went to spar with each other. Wells was peaceful at heart but he had a real knack for it, and had always helped Clarke with her methods. Wells was almost as good as Miller before they got locked up.

Clarke removed the jacket she’d been wearing and threw it to the floor, walking out to the middle of the mat and circling around Bellamy till they were face to face a few feet apart. He looked her up and down taunting her.

“Come at me, Princess.” He challenged.

She moved lightly on her feet towards him and lifted her hands up in front of herself. Clarke was left-handed, a fact she wasn’t sure Bellamy had caught onto yet. She balled her right hand into a fist and kept her left loose. She moved closer and his eyes left hers for only a second to glance at her right hand. She took the opportunity to clench her left into a fist and take a swing for his shoulder. He moved to dodge it too late and her fist came into heavy contact with his shoulder, pushing him back a little and his eyes went huge.

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath.

Clarke grinned big and she wanted to keep her laugh in but she couldn’t help it, a throaty chuckle burst through her at her excitement.

“Woo! Clarke!” Raven shouted in encouragement.

“Atta’ girl!” Miller yelled approvingly.

They moved around each other again, and Clarke noticed Bellamy was a lot more on guard this time. She tried her luck at another shot, one aimed towards his chest, and this time he dodged it easily.

She took another shot at his waist with her left which he caught and her other fist came up to his face, but he swung his head back just in time. He had a hold on her hand still and in one swift movement he twisted behind her bringing her hand with him, not in a way that hurt her but just enough to immobilize her.

She breathed heavy and heard a few of the guards yell things out in cheer for their king.

“Don’t get too cocky.” He murmured in her ear.

She leaned into him curving her back into his body and his hold went even softer on her arm as she’d expected. She took his distraction and rammed her free elbow back into his firm torso and twisted herself out from him when he buckled, grabbing his wrist and twisting it behind his back the same as he’d done, only she stayed closer to his side and not directly behind him.

She wasn’t quite strong enough to hold his arm in place though so he was able to pull free quickly and in what looked like a dance, twisted himself around in one quick move. Suddenly her feet weren’t holding her up anymore and her back hit the ground, winding her.

She gasped and it took her a second to realize what had happened as she saw Bellamy standing over her with that big stupid smirk he often had and all the guards in the room were cheering for him.

He held out his hand to help her up and she swallowed her pride. She hadn’t actually expected to win, but at least she could show him she wasn’t as incapable as he’d thought. She took his hand and he pulled her up.

 

“Yuj hainofi.” _Strong princess._  He said under his breath with a smile.

Clarke was still gaining her breath back as they stared with mutual respect at each other. Miller walked up behind her and patted Clarke on the back.

“Not bad, Clarke! Still got your ass handed to you though.” He laughed.

“Thanks for the support, Miller.” She said half sarcastically.

“You’re quite the fighter yourself.” Bellamy confronted turning to him, holding his arm out in greeting. Miller grasped it back right away with a proud smile.

“Nathan Miller.” He introduced himself.

They started talking about the guard on the ark and grounder fighting methods when Bryan quickly joined them looking jealously at Bellamy. Clarke took the opportunity to slip out and she walked over to Roan and Raven.

“The commander of death can fight!” Roan noted in his rough voice, with a slight smile.

“Only a little.” She replied.

“You did pretty damn good for taking on the King.” Raven boasted.

“He wasn’t even really fighting back.” Clarke snorted.

“Still. Hey, wanna go to the garden before dinner?”

“Yeah, sure.” She agreed.

“Okay, let’s go.” Raven looked to Roan. “I’ll see you later.” She told him. He nodded in response.

The afternoon and evening went by pretty quickly and she thought Bellamy would be coming to find her but instead Manuel walked into the garden and stood with Raven’s guard. She hadn’t really seen much of him since he was guarding her the first day they’d been here. Mostly it had been Bellamy following her around.  
She didn’t think too much of it and she continued to sit against the castle wall while Raven sat against a near tree and kept telling her about the outburst with Finn and how she was very, very done with him.

Clarke was happy for her friend, but also a little concerned.

“So what’s Roan like? He seems to have taken a special liking to you.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively trying to make light of the topic as best she could. Sometimes Raven could be closed off.

“Ugh, he’s so hot isn’t he?!” She blurted. Clarke just laughed.

“But what’s he _like_?” She pressed. “Do I need to be concerned?”

“Oh, god no.” Raven assured. “He has a past, I’m sure. But… I don’t know. He just gets me.” She finished.

“That’s good, I’m happy for you, we just need to be careful.” Clarke warned.

“What about you and Bellamy?” She teased. “You two have been inseparable since we got here and you’re not even married yet!” She laughed.

Clarke wanted to take Raven’s words lightly, but the weight of hearing someone else say it out loud made the reality crash in on her; letting all the worries and doubts she’d spent the last 3 days pushing away come reeling into the forefront of her mind. A frown spilled down her face and she couldn’t make it go away. She knew this was what was best, but it was also something huge. A year ago she would never have imagined her life going this way and it made her a little angry; Angry at the ark and angry at this beautiful earth.

Raven noticed and quickly retreated, her smile disappearing.

“Sorry,” Raven whispered, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It just seems like you guys get along and that’s why I said something… I… I know you’re just doing this for us, I shouldn’t have said anything.” She apologized.

“No, no its okay.” She assured. “Just… I don’t know I haven’t really… been able to grasp everything yet. The past few days have been too crazy, and I’ve been constantly trying to refocus myself. I just…” She sighed heavily and Raven shifted herself to sit against the wall with her to take her hand in comfort. It was a moment before Clarke could push the tears down that she felt rising and talk again.

“I just… never would have thought this is how I’d end up. We get along, yeah. But I don’t know anything about him. He doesn’t know me as a person, and this is happening for the alliance, you know? I always figured I would be with someone who… Ugh.” She groaned in frustration, feeling her tears well up again.

“Who loves you.” Raven finished for her.

“It’s stupid, I’m sorry.” She mumbled, angrily wiping away the tears before they could fall.

“It’s not stupid to want to be loved, Clarke.” She pointed out blandly. “It’s why I left Finn. He couldn’t love me the way that I wanted to be loved. And I’ll try not to touch on the fact that he loves you,” She joked as they both laughed at that.

“Yeah, I’m real lucky.” Clarke sniffled.

“But you know… maybe you and Bellamy will love each other eventually. You’re both passionate people, leaders, and I mean no one can deny the chemistry you two have going on. Except maybe Finn.” They both laughed again and Clarke swung her arms around Raven to hug her.

“Thanks.” She whispered squeezing her friend once more before letting go and pulling her emotions together. She didn’t know if she really believed anything she said, but she couldn’t keep being weak.

 

 

It was 2 days later and Clarke grew more and more focused every day. Her and Bellamy had kept training together, but he won every time, and she hadn’t been able to get a single hit in. She always ended up on her ass. She’d been asking the attendants to have hot baths ready for her both nights to ease her muscles. They had plans to train again today. It seemed Clarke didn’t see him much now except at the odd meal in which he wasn’t very talkative, or during the fighting sessions. The good thing that came out of this, however, is that she was able to hang around med bay more often and see Nyko, Lincoln, and even Manuel. He had to follow Clarke around but she was pretty sure he enjoyed whenever Clarke would go to the med bay. He got along with the healers well.

She was getting pretty nervous about the upcoming marriage and she assumed that Bellamy was too, which is why he was so distant. She had attendants coming up to her constantly asking for decisions about small things for the ceremony. Clarke had no idea, that wasn’t really her thing, and to be quite honest it was annoying to be thinking about it more than she already was. But she tried to give the best help she could anyway and was always kind to whoever was asking the questions.

“Weapons room. After Lunch.” Bellamy had told her before taking a sip of his wine at lunch.

Clarke finished chewing the grape that was in her mouth.

“You want to kick my ass again?” She groaned.

“No, I want you to learn to defend yourself to the best of your ability.” He tried to say seriously, but his smirk won the fight on his lips and Clarke just snorted, looking away.

As directed, after lunch she made her way to the weapons room. She didn’t eat a lot, just enough to keep her energy up. Ever since the ring of fire she found it hard to eat a lot in one sitting.

She glanced around looking for Bellamy, but he wasn’t here yet. Miller was though, so she walked up to him.

“Remember what we talked about, and you’ll be fine.” He mumbled to her. She nodded. Clarke knew Miller liked Bellamy, but he was also on her side and wanted her to do well, so he’d been helping her the last 2 days after her spars with Bellamy.

“Ready Princess?” Bellamy called as he walked into the room with a few people behind him.

“As I’ll ever be.” She drawled back.

He was wearing his black t-shirt again underneath his jacket that he took off and threw to one of the men who’d followed him in. He caught it and tossed it over a rack of blades. Clarke took off her jacket as well and threw it to Miller. She felt like she was being watched, and when she scanned the room and found the man who’d taken Bellamy’s jacket, that feeling was confirmed. He was very thick and had tattoo’s that covered most his face. He was probably only a few inches shorter than Bellamy and his head and face were bald. His eyes looked unsettling as they took in every inch of Clarke. Even as her wary gaze met his, he still refused to take his eyes off her. She tried her best to ignore it, turning her attention to Bellamy.

He grinned at her and they moved to the centre of the mat.

 

“Don’t hold back.” He ordered her.

 

They danced around each other, arms up and waiting to see who’d move in first. Clarke took the challenge and took a swing for his face that she knew she’d miss. But when he leaned his head back out of the way to dodge it, she took the opportunity to get closer to him and grab him by the shoulders of his shirt as he came back forward, hauling him closer and lifting her knee into his torso. As he brought his head back up she held tight to his shirt and brought him forward to meet her fist. She felt her solid punch connect in to the side of his mouth before she let him go and stepped back.

She thought he’d laugh like he did yesterday when she’d got a punch in but he just winced and brought his hand up to his mouth. For a second Clarke thought she saw something darker than blood coming from it, but before she could tell he quickly brought his arm up and wiped it on his sleeve.

“Good hit.” He complimented.

Then he was lunging towards her, catching her off guard. She didn’t have enough time to react properly or throw a punch and felt his arms circle around her waist, knocking her to the ground. He was hovering over her as she caught her breath and his smile grew. He stood up to back away, letting her stand. She gained her steadiness and continued.

She went in again for a swing and he caught her arm, pushing her downward and wrapping his other arm around her chest. She couldn’t move.

She growled at him a little in defeat, but mostly frustration and felt stupid for letting herself get caught this way.

“Em fali get in weron en kamp raun!” _She finally knows her place!_   The bald man shouted from the side of the room.

Clarke didn’t know what he’d said, but whatever it was it made Bellamy loosen his hold and look away from Clarke. Instantly she took the window of opportunity.

As hard as she could she jammed the arm he was holding into him which made him back up just enough so that she could duck under his arm and pull it out, twisting it. She turned to get the full strength out of her legs and kicked his feet out from under him. He fell to the ground with a big thud and a gasp. She didn’t lose any time in stepping on the arm that she held out to keep it in place and throwing her fist to his throat; stopping only inches before making contact.

“Finally.” She breathed heavily, smiling.

“WOO! Clarke!” Miller cheered.

Bellamy finally cracked a smile and Clarke stood up releasing his arm and extended a hand to help him up. He got up quickly enough and looked at her intently.

“That was good… really good. You’re a fast learner.” He acknowledged, looking towards Miller.

“I had a little help.” She admitted. “And it’s easier when you’re not even fighting back.”

Bellamy chuckled and looked down to Clarke’s chest for a second and his face sobered. Her shirt was a little low cut today and there was more of her showing than she’d wanted after the fight. She went to pull up her shirt fast and her cheeks went hot.

“Miller, get her jacket for her.” Bellamy ordered. Miller did as he was told and tossed the jacket to Clarke. She grabbed it and began putting it on when the bald man called something out again.

“Chek em au!” _Look at her!_  He laughed, eyes still glued on Clarke. His face looked sick with the evil grin he wore. Bellamy’s attitude shifted severely and he turned to walk slowly to the man in a way that looked like a vigilant animal hunting its prey. Clarke knew whatever was coming would not be good but the man kept going. “Kot of em bakkova; ai jok em of kom yo nou lufa em!” _Take off her clothes; I’ll fuck her if you don’t want her!_  He was still laughing about it, and the sound didn’t sit well with Clarke. “Bali! Em laik bronwada, sef fanas.” _It’s a shame! She is worthless, but sexy._

Bellamy walked right up to him and stopped in front of him but the man’s roar did not die. In fact he slapped Bellamy’s shoulder in an arrogant way. Clarke couldn’t see Bellamy’s face but she assumed it looked deadly because all the other guards looked wary and took a step back.

All of a sudden Bellamy’s hands were around the guys neck and he literally threw him over his shoulder onto the hard concrete. Clarke was stunned. He wailed out in pain but was cut off from the pressure of Bellamy’s hands that started to choke him. Clarke didn’t know what was happening but she was starting to panic.

“Ai na rip of steiks-de kom yu joken klaka.” _I will tear the meat off your fucking bones._  Bellamy spat in a low guttural growl through clenched teeth, pushing even harder on his throat. The man’s face was starting to turn purple and his eyes were rolling into the back of his head, his body going still.

None of the other guards were doing anything about it, their faces were stone.

The doctor in Clarke couldn’t be held back any longer and she ran towards Bellamy.  
“Stop! You’ll kill him!” She screamed.

Bellamy turned his dark eyes towards Clarke, looking at her through the fall of his dark curls; His face almost unrecognizable with fury.

Just as the man started to gurgle he let go. Bellamy stood above him and the man was gasping for air, hands rubbing at his throat as he rolled on the floor.

“Em I’an.” _She’s mine._  Bellamy growled again, pointing at Clarke while he burned eyes into the man he had nearly killed. Clarke was so confused… had this all had to do with her?

“ _Sha_ , ai Haihefa.” _Yes, my King._  He choked. “ _Moba, ai Haihefa, moba_.” _I’m sorry, my King, I’m sorry._

“Lok em daun.” _Lock him up._  Bellamy ordered to the other guards.

“Sha, ai Haihefa.” _Yes, my King._  They said as they picked the man up and drug him away.

Bellamy turned to look at Clarke and she took a step back from him.

“What _was_ that?” She demanded a little angry.

“You don’t need to know.” He spoke stern and low. His face still looked so angry. Right now in this moment, he resembled the painting on the wall perfectly.

“ _Yes_ , I do.” She shot back at him, embracing the anger now.

He ignored her and turned to one of the guards still there.

“Derris, go find Manuel and tell him to stand post outside my room.” He commanded.

The man, Derris, nodded and left the room.

“Come with me.” He walked over to Clarke and grabbed her arm. Just as quickly she ripped it out of his grasp.

“No. Tell me what just happened.” She demanded.

His eyes met hers and were softer now, his features slowly returning to normal.

“I will, Clarke. Come with me.” He pleaded.

She silently agreed and walked out of the room glancing at Miller who was still on the other side of the room looking bewildered.

She stopped once outside the weapons room and he gestured down the hall; His protective hand never left her upper back. They walked down the dark hall to his room and she saw Manuel there. He didn’t acknowledge Clarke the way he normally did. Once outside the door she jerked away from his touch and gave him a glare before walking in. He said a couple words to Manuel that Clarke couldn’t hear and then he was inside the room closing the door behind him.

He took a large breath and came to sit at the same table that they had talked at before.

Clarke didn’t join him; she just stared at him in disbelief and stood in the middle of the room by the couch with her arms crossed until his eyes met hers. They were calm now, and his body was relaxed.

“Sit.” He moved the chair beside him out.

Clarke didn’t move.

Bellamy let out a loud frustrated breath and put his head in his hands.

“You wouldn’t be acting like this if you knew what he’d said.” He groaned angrily.

“Then tell me what he said.” She challenged.

It was a moment before he did anything. Finally he got up and walked over to her. She stood her ground firmly. He looked deeply into her eyes.

“He openly and _crudely_ mocked you, our alliance, and tested my authority by wishing to ravage you himself.” He explained furiously.

His eyes stayed on her as she took the information in, realizing exactly what it meant.

“Oh.” She breathed.

She thought about the way the man’s eyes had been lurking over her and she was sure Bellamy was speaking the truth. She felt sick. _Would he actually have done something to me?_

“Clarke,” His hand found her forearm and he rubbed it slightly in comfort. “You will be my Queen soon. _Their_ Queen. Any disrespect towards you will not be tolerated.” He assured her.

“I’m no one to them _right now_ , though.” She wasn’t defending the man, if she was really being honest with herself he had kind of scared her back in the training room… but then so had Bellamy. “If a conflict against Skaikru threatens me… it threatens all my people.” If her people weren’t safe here, she wasn’t sure what they would do. She pulled her arm from his hand. “Maybe we aren’t safe here.” She whispered as she walked to the couch in the middle of the room to sit.

“Clarke, they don’t hate Skaikru.” He said surely.

His words weren’t enough for her.

“Me and my people will have to leave,” She began.

“Clarke.” He protested, coming towards her.

“Once I am queen the ones who disagree will become more hostile. If they can’t get to me, they’ll take it out on my people, Bellamy! Do you understand that?!” She scolded.

“Yes, I do! But he’s not even part of the castle! Okay? He joined my clan only days before you came, from Azgeda. He has little appreciation for anything, never mind women!” He retorted. He took a short breath before continuing in a lower tone. “The second that man opened his mouth he was no longer my people. Right now he’s in the dungeon waiting to be dealt with. _My people_ don’t want to harm any of you. They are accepting of the alliance, excited even.”

Clarke leaned back into the couch, taking in the information as he spoke. He crossed the remaining space between them as he ran his hand through his curls before he knelt down in front of Clarke and took one of her hands, but she didn’t feel comfort by it. She kept imagining them wrapped around that man’s neck.

“They’re afraid of _you_.” He articulated softly. That took her by surprise.

“What?”

“Yours is a great story, Clarke. You’re like a God to them. The gold haired heda came down from the sky. She held her own in battle, healed her people, and burned 300 warriors alive,” He said it like he was proud of her but she only felt pain at the memories. “You’re status has weight. You are _Wanheda_ to them; _the commander of death._ You are _powerful_ and _strong,_ unrelenting _._ Anyone can see that.” He emphasized. “They would be fools to step out of line with you, and they know that.”

She was trying to wrap her head around it, and briefly realized that was probably why all the grounders here had been acting so strange around her and kept their distance. She hated that… so much, she hated that. But there was only one thing he said that she wanted an answer to.

“What about to you?” She asked softly, emotion threatening her voice and her eyes.

“What?” He whispered confused.

“What am _I_ to _you_?” She clarified more stern now, making eye contact with him for the first time in what seemed like forever. Her breath was heavier now.

He didn’t answer, just stared at her with his mouth open. She ripped her hand from his and stood up, glaring as he was still silent, crouched on the floor.

“Do you see me as _Wanheda_?” A tear dropped from her eye at saying that name but she didn’t care now. “A _status_ to achieve? _The commander of death_?! Someone to be _feared_?!” She was raging now.

There were only 47 people in this world that saw her as something better. And the rest saw her as this monster. Weather they honoured her as Wanheda or not, that’s not someone she wanted to be. That’s not what she was striving for. Wanheda felt like the demon over her shoulder… the person she had to become when her people faced death. The last thing she wanted was the man she was about to marry in 2 days to think about her like that. The one she was holding onto a string of hope that one day she’d love and would love her back. Maybe she shouldn’t have cared, but she did.

He stood up and came to stand in front of her. She didn’t hold back the angry emotion that flooded her face. This was something that haunted her, and she didn’t care if he knew it; if he saw her as weak anymore. At least he wouldn’t see her as a monster.

“No.” He confessed gently.

“No?” She repeated confused, searching his eyes.

“No… that is not all you are to me.” He promised. He continued in a gentle whisper, his low voice sounded like a lullaby. “I thought it would be… at first… but after your first night here I didn’t see you as that anymore.” He murmured. He hesitantly tried once more to grab a hold of her arms gently, moving his thumb over them in comfort. “I saw your strength, yes. That hasn’t changed. But I also saw you for someone who had an appreciation for life. Someone who took joy in peace, and unity. A woman that through… grief and loss of everything she had… somehow, still managed to stand tall.

I know all too well, Clarke. Who _we are_ , and who we _need to be_ to survive… are very different things.” Clarke took a deep breath in at the truth of his words, and another tear fell.

“You saw my demon today… and I hope that you can forgive me for that.” He said, eyes searching her broken face.

Clarke just nodded to him, and then he was pulling her in close to him. She hadn’t expected a hug, but once it was there she sunk into it all too willingly. She needed this right now, so she brought her arms up and hugged him back.

“ _Em ste yuj_.” He murmured into her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Like always leave comments if you're enjoying.  
> Follow me on twitter if ya want. @AtiaJoyR :)


	10. Our souls are entwined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at this point in the story, I'll still underline the trig so you guys know what it means, and make it clear when Clarke or someone else knows what's being said!  
> Buckle in... she's a long one and a doozy.

Chapter 10 – Our souls are entwined

 

 

 

 

When Clarke woke up the next day she wasn’t alone, she looked around her room and turned around on her bed to see her two friends. Raven and Harper were lying there whispering to each other. They had ended up coming to Clarke’s door last night asking for a sleepover, and although Clarke was tired and had been through quite an emotional rollercoaster the day before, she thought she could use some girl time. Clarke’s bed was substantially bigger than the beds everyone else had so it wasn’t a problem.

“You two are not being as quiet as you think you are.” Clarke groaned jokingly. Her voice was a little hoarse, probably from crying yesterday.

“Suck it!” Raven yelled back. They all laughed at that and Raven turned from her position in the middle to look at Clarke.

“Are we going to breakfast, cause I’m starving.” She complained.

“You just want to see Roan.” Harper teased from beside her in a flirty voice.

“Ugh, yes, that too.” Raven beamed. “Honestly, I wont even deny it. He’s so hot!”

“Well, I told Monty I’d have breakfast with him so I’m going for sure.” Harper announced.

Clarke and Raven pursed their lips, their eyebrows shooting up suggestively, and then looked at Harper expectantly.

“Ooo-la-la!” Raven chimed.

Clarke laughed and Harper blushed, hiding her face in the bed.

They all got up, Raven and Harper went back to their room to get dressed for the day.

Clarke got out of bed and looked outside. It looked like it was pretty hot out so she found a light blue tank top and some thin black pants. She twisted the sides of her hair and tied them behind the back of her head so her hair would be out of her face.

When Clarke left her room there was a crowd of her people and only half the amount of normal guards in the hallway all talking freely and starting to make their way to the dining hall for breakfast. Manuel was waiting for her outside her door and she wondered how long he’d been there. Bellamy probably wanted her watched more closely since yesterday.

“Good morning, Manuel.” Clarke smiled at him.

“Wanheda.” He greeted back in his deep voice with a light smile.

She winced at hearing that name again… but she would probably have to get used to the people here calling her that.

She joined the group quickly with Manuel following closely and everyone seemed pretty happy to see her. They made their way to the dining hall and she noticed Monty’s arm drape over Harpers shoulders and her head lean into him as they walked together. Monroe was flirting with Fox, another one of the delinquents. Miller and Bryan held hands as they walked together in silence. Clarke couldn’t express how happy she was to see her people, her friends, just being able to live and feel safe enough to actually connect with others. They already seemed to fit in so well here.

Clarke’s mind went back to yesterday when she’d thought they would have to leave and was glad that wasn’t going to happen now.

This place was good for them, and she had decided to really believe Bellamy when he said his people didn’t want to harm them. They had been here almost a week now and everyone was fine.

She had to keep talking herself down. It was hard to just accept the fact that life was slowing down. They were safe here. They were going to be okay.

“Hey, Clarke!” Jasper’s voice was right beside her and it drew her out of her thoughts. She became aware that she’d been smiling to herself.

“Hey Jasper.” She directed her smile towards him.

“I uh,” He began, lowering his voice to a more serious tone that only she’d hear. “I just wanted to thank you… you know, we wouldn’t have made it here without you. We probly woulda all died a bunch of times by now.” He mumbled the last part and finished with a small snort of sardonic laughter. “I guess what I’m saying is, thanks for gettin locked up on the ark.” He teased, bumping her shoulder with his.

Clarke smiled kindly at him and thanked him with a hug.

 

When everyone got to the dining hall it was pretty busy already.

Lincoln and Octavia were standing together, and Lincoln called out a quick hello to her whereas Octavia just smiled. It looked like she’d be sitting with him today. She waved to them and made her way to her spot at the front beside Bellamy who was already sitting.

He seemed distracted, talking to Roan who was beside him until she pulled her chair out and sat down. There was already food at the table that no one had started eating yet, and it looked good. She was starving. His focus switched to Clarke and he gave her a big grin as he shifted his body towards hers. He was wearing a dark blue shirt today that she instantly loved on him, it was a little worn out, but it hugged his body nicely and the colour was incredible on him. _God he’s handsome._ She thought to herself.

“You look gorgeous today.” He complimented reaching an arm out to squeeze her thigh.

She felt her breath catch at the touch and her face went hot. He noticed and laughed out loud.

“Thanks.” She mumbled, looking down at his hand on her thigh.

“You are welcome, ai hainofi.” He nodded to her, still a huge smile on his face, eyes deep in hers.

She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes at his words and he seemed to understand her confusion.

“It mean’s ‘My Princess’.” He clarified, giving one last squeeze to her thigh before removing his hand.

“Ahh, got it.” She tried to make a mental note.” _Ai – My. Hainofi – Princess._ She thought to herself.

“You should start to learn the language.”

“That’s the plan.” She sighed.

“It would be helpful, especially if you’ll be working in medical.” He pointed out, shifting himself towards the room.

Clarke’s mouth dropped open.

“Really?! I can work in Medical?!” She almost shouted in excitement.

He just grinned at her, not answering, and then pushed his chair out to stand and talk to the room.

“Ai kru!” _My people!_  Bellamy called attention to the hall, and he got it almost instantly.

“Today we gather, to break the fast of the night with shared food, and to break the war’s of yesterday… with shared unity. Gon gedanes.” _To unity._

“Gon gedanes.” Everyone repeated.

Clarke had learned that this was something he said every morning at breakfast. It was nice; it made her feel like she was apart of something again. It was a community she hadn’t felt since the ark… well, since her father was alive.

Bellamy sat back down and everyone at the front table started to eat. The rest of the room laughed and talked as they got their food.

 “So I can really start in medical? You’re okay with that?” Clarke asked again in excitement. Bellamy smiled at her enthusiasm.

“Yeah, you should probably get some practice sooner or later.” He decided. “And I mean, we are getting married tomorrow.” He said the last part very seriously as he looked over to her, his eyes searching her face.

Her gut twisted with nerves. He spoke quieter now, only for her to hear.

“I trust you, Clarke.”

She knew she didn’t need to say it back, but the words fell out before she gave it a second thought.

“I trust you too.” She whispered back.

The corner of his mouth drew up a bit and then he turned back to his food.

“Lets go back to the chapel after breakfast.” He suggested.

Clarke looked over to him, but he just took a sip of water and looked totally casual.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” She agreed.

 

 

They walked closely beside each other through the strangely empty halls to the chapel. Clarke figured everyone was outside enjoying the sun. She’d told the girls last night about the horse stables and with permission from Bellamy after breakfast they were allowed to take a group out with guards to go see it. Her people were all pretty infatuated with animals since they had none in space.

 

Once they got to the chapel Clarke realized it looked a little different than it had the last time. There were cream coloured candles set up everywhere, and fresh white flowers in the corners of the rooms. A black cloth ran all the way down the chapel floor to the front. Right down the centre of the room.

“This is where the wedding will be?” Clarke asked him quietly.

“Yes.” His hands were behind his back and his posture was straight and firm again, just like the last time they’d been in here. Clarke could tell he had a great respect for this area.

She wondered if he was nervous about the marriage. If his stomach was filled with butterflies the same way that hers was. They trusted each other; that she knew. They had tons of respect for one another, both as individuals and as leaders. They had, and she didn’t know how far it went, some sort of undeniable chemistry. They could maybe call each other friends, definitely allies. But even though that much was clear, Clarke still had such a hard time trying to figure out what this relationship actually meant. It didn’t help that she knew nothing about him.

“Are you scared?” He asked softly.

It was as if he’d read her thoughts. The question was unexpected, and although she knew he was looking at her, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She felt a fight in her grow as she tried to keep her eyes straight ahead of her, but when emotion threatened them, they fell to the floor.

Clarke heard him take a large breath in through his teeth, that he held in for a few seconds.

“I am, too.” He confessed, before finally releasing the air from his lungs.

With glossy eyes and disbelief on her face, she looked up at his face… still rugged and stone-like. How could this strong man, this brave ruler, a King… how could he be scared of anything? He seemed to never waver on anything he did. Every time he spoke, any time he moved… he just exuded confidence in his every choice, no matter how small.

“Really?” It was all she could manage in a whisper.

“Yes.” He confirmed with one quick nod. “Blood bonds don’t often happen anymore… it’s extremely permanent.” She couldn’t make out his face or his tone to match any emotion. She had no idea the private feelings that he was having right now.

“How?” She asked him curiously.

He hesitated before he began.

“When you enter into a blood bond, a marriage,” he began, looking into her eyes now. “That person becomes your _keryon_.”

“ _Keryon_?”

He hesitated for a second before he clarified.

“Your soul.”

Clarke felt like he was staring directly into hers right now… but she couldn’t do the same to him.

Just then there were about six young women, all attendants, who came in giggling about something and carrying more flowers and black drapes for the room. They all halted to a stop when they saw the two leaders standing there and they put their heads down apologetically.

“Moba, ai Haihefa. Wandheda.” _Apologies, my King. Wanheda._ They all said.

“Nau get yu daun. Kyon.” _Don’t worry. Continue._  He smiled small at them.

Bellamy’s hand reached out to Clarke like he was offering to dance, she took it and his small smile grew a little bigger and softer as he gently pulled her towards the dark hall they’d been in before, and then into the colourful hallway of glass windows. Somehow it looked even more beautiful today.

They walked to the circular room at the end and Bellamy sat casually on the raised floor in the middle. He gestured for her to join him so she did. His beautiful brown eyes bore into hers again and that alone made her whole body run hot and cold. He was so intense right now; Clarke had a hard time focusing, even though they hadn’t actually said anything to each other yet.

“ _Oso keryon… ste teina_.” He broke the silence and tension with his words; his voice like poetry in this place. Clarke could listen to it forever. “That’s what you’ll have to say tomorrow. We both will.”

Clarke recognised the ‘keryon’ word as ‘soul’ but didn’t know what the whole thing meant.

“What does it mean?” She asked quietly. It seemed like any voice but Bellamy’s was too loud for this sacred place… too intruding. His fit perfectly.

“ _Our souls are entwined_.” His eyes still would not leave hers. It was like she was the only thing he could see, and she had no problem soaking that in.

She nodded and tried to say the words.

“Oso… keryon…”

“Ste teina.” He helped.

“Ste teina…. Oso keryon ste teina.” She finished. When a smile worked its way onto Bellamy’s face she couldn’t help but let her face mirror his. She felt pretty proud at saying it properly, and a giggle slipped out of her. Bellamy studied her when she did this and gave a content sigh.

“You were made for this place, Clarke.” He told her.

Clarke had not a single clue how to reply to that. She just sat there with her eyes wide, staring at him. He let out a small chuckle and twisted himself to lay down with his hands behind his head. His eyes looked above him at the dome ceiling and he looked like he was thinking about something so deep that it felt as though she was intruding just by being there.

Clarke thought about lying down as well but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him in this position. While he continued to be completely caught up in his own private thoughts, Clarke felt unashamed staring at his form. This place was one of the most enchanting, beautiful places that Clarke had ever seen, yes. But the sun was shining on Bellamy. It was lighting up his eyes and showing off the constellation of his stunning freckles. His black curls fell back towards the floor and his olive tan skin looked rough, but alluring. His blue shirt was lifted and Clarke could see the bottom of his torso where the strong muscles starting on his hips created a V. His arms were big, strong. Powerful. When she looked back to his face she realized he looked so much younger than he usually did. Right now there was no pressing matter or obligation. Alone in his thoughts, in this room, he just looked like a boy; like Bellamy.

She was sure right then. Out of all the things she’d seen in her life… space, earth, the stars, the trees, flowers, Polis, this castle, this room… Bellamy was the most beautiful, hand’s down. The admiration she felt towards him made her heart feel a pull.

“My mother would have loved you.” He declared suddenly. Clarke took a sharp breath in at hearing that.

It really took her back, but she tried to play it cool. He’d never said anything about his mother, or any family except Octavia, and she wanted to know more.

She lied down beside him, not close enough that they’d touch, and put her hands behind her head too.

“What was she like?” Her voice was only a whisper. It took him a moment to reply but when he did he smiled proudly.

“A little like O… but you remind me of her.” He said as he looked over at her. “She always did what she had to do for me and Octavia. She was smart, strategic. But she also had this huge heart. The only difference is that you share yours with everyone and she was a little more… closed off. Reserved for those she loved only. Like Octavia.” He laughed fondly.

Clarke smiled at him and she was trying to process everything. She was a little in disbelief that he was telling her this. She didn’t think he’d been intentionally closed off before or anything, just… careful. He was careful.

“She sounds incredible.”

“She was.” He let a little sadness into his voice.

“What was her name?”

“Aurora Blake.” He said her name proudly.

_Blake?_ She thought. Bellamy Blake. It was suiting that his name sounded so perfect.

“She helped me get to where I am today. She made me a man, a warrior, a King.” His voice was nostalgic but firm. “When I rose to power I was only 17. Lexa had a lot to do with it, but my mother was the one who made it happen.”

She didn’t want to push her luck by asking any more. She figured if he wanted her to know, then he would tell her. They stayed quiet for a good 5 minutes and during that time Clarke’s mind kept jumping to a million different questions she’d had this whole week, that didn’t have to do with Bellamy or his family.

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke looked to him again.

“Of course.” He assured, turning his body towards hers.

“What will happen to that man? From yesterday?”

He tensed and his eyes went dark for a minute.

“I’ve killed men for less.” He revealed through clenched teeth.

“But what will you do with him?” She pushed. He paused before giving an answer.

“I have to send him back to the mainland. If he dies by my hand and Ice Nation finds out, that could be all they need to make their move; breaking the coalition and starting a war. If the Ice Queen has a nightblood as Roan says… they could challenge the commander and then they would come for this land. I can’t let that happen.” He explained, looking to her as if for forgiveness for not killing the man.

“I understand.” She replied. In all honesty she didn’t know that she did completely… but she trusted Bellamy. “So Roan is… Ice Nation?”

“Yes, Azgeda is their clan name, it means Ice Nation.”

“Oh. So, why is Roan here from Azgeda?”

His face got a little weary, but he answered anyway.

“He’s here in case our alliance doesn’t go through.” He said quietly.

“What?”

“If we don’t end up getting married, he’s next in line to take you to his people.” His face was hard now. He seemed angry as he pushed himself up and walked to a window to look out of it. Clarke sat up.

“I’d have to marry him?” She asked horrified, thinking of Raven.

“Not exactly…” Bellamy’s whole body went tense. “They have a different arrangement.”

“I don’t understand. You seem to like Roan…” She pointed out.

“Roan is not like his people. His mother is vicious. They are all controlled by war and violence, like I said. The Ice Queen is looking for anything to justify her plans.” He explained. He turned, coming to stand in front of her. Clarke stood up.

“She doesn’t want your people. Only you.” He finished.

_Shit._

“Why?!” She was getting a little frantic now and felt like she needed to warn Raven or something. She couldn’t have known this… Raven would have told her last night.

“Because they believe that when you kill someone you take their power. Kill Wanheda, and you command death.” He said matter-of-factly. She could tell he hated that; that the prospect of it bugged him and made him angry. “Roan has been cast out before… and his time here has truly opened his eyes, and I know that. If our alliance fell through, I don’t think he will take you to the Queen. He would take you back to Lexa, and I _know_ she would not kill you for your power.” He started sounding a little frantic too.

“How do you know that? And what would happen to my people then!?” She shouted desperately; her voice made even louder in this small room.

He looked at her with genuine sadness in his eyes, and ignored her first question.

“They would most likely be sent back to the mainland.” He answered quietly.

Clarke stepped away in disbelief.

“You would send my people away to their death?” She breathed in panic.

He shook his head vehemently.  
“No, Clarke…” He sighed in frustration. “You have to understand that it wouldn’t be up to me.”

“You’re King! How could it not be!?”

“Because I may be King on this land, but Lexa is the commander, she is _my_ commander. Her call is final.” He explained.

“Would you take them if you could? If she let you?” She asked quizzically.

“Yes! If I could!” He answered quickly.

She didn’t know what to think, her expression was lost, mouth open in horror. She just wanted everyone to be safe. That’s all. She didn’t want to imagine telling her people that they couldn’t even stay here after they had gotten so comfortable this last week… that they would have to be sent back to the mainland. She didn’t want another war.

“Clarke… Him being here is a ‘just in case’. We will be married _tomorrow_.” He reminded her with a gentle smile. She took a deep breath and remembered the women who were setting up for the ceremony right now. He took a step closer to her, bridging their gap and he splayed his hand on the side of her neck, gripping it gently and rubbing his thumb over her cheek. It made her body relax a little more.

“None of that is going to happen. Tomorrow… your people have a place here. And so do you.” She looked up to him and took one last breath of re-assurance. This time tomorrow she would be married to him. _Everything will be fine._

“If you’ll have me.” He chuckled with a smirk, putting his other hand on her waist.

The combo of _all that_ almost made her weak.

“Is that your way of asking me to marry you, Bellamy?” She teased half-heartedly resting her hand on his chest a little hesitantly.

He laughed at that and then looked deep into her blue eyes. Clarke saw his eyes fall to her lips and she couldn’t help but look at his. She focused on the little scar on the corner of his upper lip. He was so beautiful, and they were so close. He smelled incredible.

He moved in and almost without thinking she retreated, pushing lightly on his chest and moving her head back.

“Hainofi?” _Princess?_  He whispered.

“Um…” She let out the breath she realised she’d been holding onto and took a step back from him, goose bumps raised on her skin as his hands left her neck, grazing her skin. “Maybe… maybe just one thing at a time… I- I can’t… focus on that quite yet.” She stammered.

He nodded gently in understanding and held out his hand towards her and she took it, biting her lip; he didn’t miss it, his eyes were glued. Once she noticed and let her lip go he smirked at her.

“Let’s take you to medical and get you set up.” He suggested before pulling her towards the hallway.

Excitement bubbled up inside her, and she forced all things Azgeda out of her thoughts.

 

 

The only people more excited about her helping out than herself, was Lincoln and Nyko.

They were ecstatic when they saw her and Bellamy walk into medical, and even more so when he told them to start training her.

They started immediately, and Clarke was aware of Bellamy’s continued presence there for a while. About half an hour in when Nyko took a break from showing her what they used on her and the others wrists the first day they came, she looked over and he was gone.

She continued to learn and take everything in. The time was really passing by and Clarke was completely absorbed in everything she had been learning. She had asked them that they teach her the words of the plant’s they used in their language so she wouldn’t have to learn it twice, so they did.

Some attendants came in and brought them lunch. While they ate Lincoln and Nyko quizzed Clarke. She answered every question correctly except one, which Nyko said he still sometimes messed up. She told them a little about her experience on the ark, how she had assisted with a few minor surgeries, implants and 3 births. They seemed impressed as she explained their methods and they even said something about her teaching them a few things.

With that, they moved onto teaching her about the more hands on stuff, which was great when someone actually came in with a problem. Clarke was only slightly surprised that it was one of her people, Murphy. Miller was with him and wore a huge proud smirk on his face. Clarke examined Murphy’s bleeding cheekbone, dabbing it with a sanitized cloth as he winced, and asked what happened.

“The idiot thought he could beat me in a fist fight. He told me not to hold back.” Miller snorted.

Murphy scoffed.

“I woulda had you.” He spat back at Miller.

“Idiots.” Clarke groaned.

Lincoln laughed a little at their exchange while Nyko paid close attention to Clarke.

“You’ll need a stitch or two, or your scar will be big.” Clarke told him.

“Oh, good. It’ll match the rest of em’.” He drawled. It was true; he did have a lot of scars. Some from fighting with people on the Ark, most from their time on the ground.

“She could use the practice.” Nyko told him.

Murphy looked at Clarke and she nodded in agreement, shrugging her shoulders.

“Ugh, fine. Go ahead.” He gave in and Clarke gave his arm a squeeze in appreciation as she stood to grab everything she needed.

She sterilized her hands, and then the needle and thread. She dumped more disinfectant on the cloth once more to sanitize the wound, and then began.

Nyko and Lincoln watched closely as she worked and everyone was quiet except Murphy who kept making noises of pain. She tied the last stitch off and sat back.

It only took Clarke about 3 minutes from start to finish, and she looked at Nyko and Lincoln expectantly as they studied it a little closer.

“Well done, Clarke!” Lincoln praised.

“I agree. Perfect job.” Nyko added.

Clarke smiled proudly and felt pretty good about it. Lincoln and Miller started talking about the weapons room, and Miller was saying how tomorrow after Clarke and Bellamy got married they could start using the actual weapons to train with.

Clarke stood up to grab the salve off one of the shelves and brought it back.

She looked to Nyko for confirmation, it was the right one, because he just nodded to himself and didn’t protest when she opened the jar.

She spread the salve on his cheekbone over the stitches and told him he could leave. “Finally.” He groaned. Everyone laughed a little at him and he looked to Clarke and bowed dramatically.

“You’re welcome.” He said before spinning and walking out of the room, Miller right behind him.

“You’re welcome!” She called back to him, smiling and rolling her eyes. She started to clean up and disinfect things.

“I mean no disrespect, but your people are pretty strong for being so soft.” Lincoln pointed out.

Clarke’s smile fell for a second before she made it return.

“We’ve had to be.” She shrugged, focusing on cleaning up.

“Well…” Nyko began, changing the subject. “You’re talented. We’re glad you’re here. Two healers are not enough.”

“I’m glad I’m here.” She said, realizing the truth in her own words as she said them.

 

 

 

After dinner Clarke and Raven were roaming around the castle and talking when she saw two large men, Nyko and Lincoln, gallop towards medical. Clarke casually shifted to their direction and they walked over to the med bay as Raven continued to talk about something mechanical she’d done on the ark. To be honest, Clarke wasn’t paying that much attention.

They reached the med bay and Clarke walked in, Raven just stood in the doorway silently. Clarke looked around but there were no patients. Nyko and Lincoln were packing things into a large leather bag and Octavia was there, speaking in their language while she pointed at things around the room.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked.

“There was a fire down in the village. The smokehouses were burned down and some of the homes.” Lincoln said as he ran around looking for things.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked, worried now.

“No one died, there are injured though. But the village needs food and supplies. They’ve already got the fires out and started to rebuild the meat pit so Bellamy is leading a hunting party to restock their food quickly.” Nyko gestured between himself and Lincoln. “We need to be in the village helping with the injuries.” He explained.

“Bellamy is leading it? When’s he leaving?” Clarke asked, getting a curious look from Octavia.

“Right now.” She heard Bellamy’s low booming voice coming into the room. Raven was pressed up against the entrance as him and five other large men and woman walked in behind him.

He was not Bellamy right now; he was in full on King mode. He was dressed in thick black clothing, and he had a large sword on his side. He looked really good… and Raven had this sort of bewildered ‘Oh my God’ look on her face as she raised her eyebrows at Clarke.

Clarke ignored it and turned to Nyko.

“Let me come, I can help.” She offered.

“No, we need you to stay here in case someone needs a healer.” Nyko reasoned.

Bellamy was about to cut in.

“If, of course, that’s okay with you, my King.” Nyko appealed.

“She proved to be very talented today, she knows a lot, even sewed someone’s face.” Lincoln added.

Clarke whipped around to Bellamy and stared at his uncertain face.

“Fine, she can run things here.” He sighed with a little bit of a smirk that was gone in an instant.

“Get the hunting spears, we leave now.” He ordered. Everyone grabbed their stuff and started to leave. Lincoln threw his key to the room at Clarke before he ran to leave and she caught it, putting it in her pant’s pocket.

“Bellamy, wait!” Clarke stopped him, pulling his arm while everyone else continued out of the room.

“The ceremony is tomorrow…” She pointed out through a whisper, still holding onto his arm. She wasn’t sure why, the only one who was there was Raven, and she couldn’t hear them anyway.

“I know, Princess. I’ll be back late tonight. It’s just to hunt, we’ll be back in no time.” He promised.

“Just… be safe.” She insisted. The lines between her eyebrows creased deep as she frowned.  
“Don’t worry, ai hainofi.” _My princess._  He chuckled quietly. He turned to go but her hand was still clasped on to his arm, and she couldn’t make herself let go of him.

He looked down at her hand and then back up to her, and then he was right in front of her.

“Oso keryon ste teina.” _Our souls are entwined._  He said the words that they would be saying tomorrow.

“Oso keryon ste teina.” She repeated quietly.

“Very good. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He looked deep into her worried eyes, grabbing both the sides of her head gently and pressing a quick firm kiss to her forehead, instantly smoothing out the worry that lay there. Clarke’s breath quickened and she stared back at him. He smiled, and then took her hand, squeezing it before he left.

 

Raven walked in casually, and started to slow clap.

“Well, well, well…” She chanted amusingly.

“Raven,” Clarke began still worried.

“ _That_  looked intimate!” Raven continued.

“Raven!” She yelled, getting her attention before continuing in whispers. “I need to tell you something.”

Raven saw how worried she looked and came in closer, all traces of her joking gone.

“What?”

“You can’t say anything to anyone… I don’t need this getting out right now. Not before it’s a problem.”

“I swear. What is it?” She asked even more anxious now.

Clarke spent the evening telling her about the conversation her and Bellamy had earlier. She told her about Ice Nation, and Roan, all the other things about the coalition and the Ice Queen wanting war, the man who’d made comments yesterday. She told her everything that was worrying her now, especially with Bellamy being out of the castle. She didn’t feel good about it, but she couldn’t place why. Raven had been surprised, but she wasn’t angry about it yet. She assured Clarke that the alliance would go through tomorrow, so there was no reason to worry.

 

Raven left after 2 or 3 hours, and Clarke remained in medical alone, despite Raven’s efforts to get her to go to sleep. No one had come in, so she just cleaned things up and continued to study, giving her brain something else to do other than worry. She put more wood on the fireplace and then went to sit down. Her eyes were so heavy.

 

Clarke gasped awake to the sound of distant yelling. She assured herself right away that it was a dream, until she heard it again. She stood up and walked out of the med bay towards the sound. She could tell it was multiple voices yelling. She ran down the hall till she could make the words out. And then her stomach dropped.

“Sis au!” _Help!_

“Beja!” _Please!_

“Ste Haihefa-de!!!” _It’s the King!!!_  She heard loud voices and commotion coming towards her. Clarke knew enough of their language to know what that meant. It was Bellamy.

She ran and rounded the corner to see the hunting party coming in, caring a heaping pile of something black. Clarke thought it was an animal at first until she saw black curls around a clean freckled face. She felt like her heart stopped, but she came in close.

“ _Wanheda_ , beja, heal him!” _Please_. One of the men pleaded.

She put her fingers on his neck to check his pulse as her eyes grazed over his body. They had something tied around his torso, she assumed to stop the bleeding, but it was soaked in a black liquid.

His heartbeat was racing, but his pulse was weak. He was alive.

“He’s alive, get him to medical. Now!” She ordered as she turned around to get a head start.

“Sha, Wanheda.” _Yes._  They all agreed, and picked him up again to move him. Clarke heard a low grunt come from him at the movement and she couldn’t make herself look. She ran as fast as she could to medical and took the bed out into the centre of the room. She grabbed all the lamps in the room and placed them around the tables she pulled up, and started piling everything she thought she might need onto them.

_Where are Lincoln and Nyko._  She thought desperately.

Just then the hunting party came into the room carrying him, everyone frantic.

“There, on the bed!” Clarke pointed. “Send someone to the village immediately to get Nyko and Lincoln!”

“We already have, Wanheda.” A woman breathed. “Our fastest runner.”

“Good. Someone needs to stay until they get here to help me.” She said as she pulled her sleeves all the way up, disinfecting her hands and arms.

“We will not leave the King’s side.” Someone said.

“Someone get something to get my hair out of the way.” She said walking over to the table, grabbing scissors and turning to the bed to look at Bellamy. She removed the jacket that had been tied around him and started cutting his shirt all the way off of him but she couldn’t see the wound. There was too much black.

A woman came behind Clarke in a hurry and grabbed her hair to tie it back.

“What is this? What happened?” Clarke asked, drenching a cloth in disinfectant and dabbing it over his skin to find the wound. She quickly noticed it was covering most his torso.

“We were hunting and-“ A man began.

“What happened to _him_?!” She interrupted angrily. She checked his pulse again. Too fast. Still weak.

“A panther got to his centre.” The woman behind her said.

The wound was clear now, four deep and large gashes across him, but the black liquid was still coming out of them.

“Is this his blood!?” She finally asked bewildered.

“Yes, the King is a natblida.” _Nightblood._  Someone explained.

Clarke didn’t know what that was, but she didn’t have time for an explanation.

“Is it just his torso?!” She asked them.

“We think so, yes.”

She grabbed the bottle that contained water and a little disinfectant and poured it over the wound. Bellamy growled slightly at the burn, body tensing, coming in and out of consciousness, eyes flickering.

“It’s okay, Bellamy. Can you hear me? I’m going to fix you up, Bellamy. Don’t worry.” She used the voice she remembered her mother using with patients, and went into full doctor mode.

She didn’t know whose hand she grabbed, but it was whoever was closest to her. She dragged them over to her left where Bellamy’s head lay. It was the woman who tied her hair, she noticed. She placed her hand right beneath Bellamy’s jaw on his neck.

“Can you feel his pulse?”

“Yes”

“Good. Tell me if it changes.”

She grabbed the tweezers off the table and dumped them in the disinfectant bowl one more time.

She hovered over Bellamy with the tweezers, leaning in close to the wounds. The deepest part was over his lower ribs to his bellybutton.

“Bring a lamp closer.” She ordered. Someone did so almost instantly and she began making sure there was nothing in the wound. She found a small rock in the biggest gash, which she removed. A small straight black hair, probably the panthers, and took that out too. The rest looked to be clean, and it wasn’t quite deep enough to have caused damage to his organs.

She turned away and grabbed the needle and thread. When she came back to him his wound was bleeding again, a lot.

“Someone sanitize your hands and arms and help me! Hurry!” She yelled, never taking her eyes off of him as she started to work on threading the needle through the first gash and closing the wound. A man moved and did as she asked.

“What now?!” He yelled.

“Get a new cloth, they are on the table. Drench it in the bottle of clear liquid to my left and bring it over here, other side of the table!”

He started to do that when the woman who still had her hand on Bellamy’s neck spoke up.

“It’s getting weaker!” She panicked.

“How much weaker?!” She shouted back annoyed.

“Only a little.”

“A little is okay. Cloth! Disinfectant! Now!” She barked over her shoulder at the man.

He ran around the table with the cloth.

“Keep the blood cleared away! Tap, don’t wipe.” She instructed.

He did as he was told. Clarke was into the middle of one of the bigger gashes and as she tugged his flesh together Bellamy started to moan in pain, and she could see out of her peripherals that he moved his head.

“Bellamy, we’re stitching you up. You need to stay very still, okay? Bellamy, stay very still.” She continued working as she addressed him in her clear doctor’s voice.

“How’s his pulse?” She asked.

“Still the same.” The woman said about his heart rate. Clarke’s hands somehow worked even faster as she began to tie off the thread.

“That’s good. I need the small scissors, now. Table.” She demanded, holding her hand out. The woman holding his pulse reached around herself and grabbed them off the table, handing them over.

Clarke snipped off the thread on the first one.

“One down, three to go, Bellamy. You’re doing awesome.” She praised loudly.

She got a slight moan in response, which made her smile. He was okay. He was alive.

She continued onto the next one, directing the man to get a new cloth and do the same thing as before with it. He ran to do so and she saw that he wasn’t bleeding as much anymore.

“I can barely feel his pulse!!” The woman panicked.

“When did he start loosing blood?” She asked everyone. Her hands worked faster, the needle and thread moving in and out of his flesh.

“Almost two hours ago.” The man holding the cloth said. Clarke’s eyes widened and she felt angry.

“He’s lost too much blood. Check his body for anything else. Be careful not to move him and use the big scissors.”

The two men who hadn’t been doing anything grabbed the big scissors and began to cut his pants off.

“His leg!” One of them yelled.

Her eyes were still glued on her current work, she was tying off the thread to the second gash.

“Where, and how deep?”

“His thigh, and I can’t tell.” He answered.

“If it’s his thigh it could have punctured his artery.” She panicked. She snipped the thread and went to look at his leg.

“Move.” She used her hip to move a man out of her way.

It looked like one of the panther’s claws had punctured him. Luckily, it wasn’t near his main artery, and it wasn’t bleeding as much as she’d feared. But she needed to be safe.

She turned to the man in front of her with the cloth.

“Grab another cloth with disinfectant and apply pressure, not too hard, over the wound to stop the bleeding. How long does it take to get from the village to the castle?”

“Only half an hour if you run.” One of the men answered.

She picked up her needle and threaded it again, then got back to work on his torso.

“Someone find the bottle that says ‘Bruskola woda’. Its on the shelf by the door.” _Purple water._

Someone went over and grabbed it.

“This one?!” A man shouted holding it up to Clarke.

“Yes! Bring it over and drop exactly 3 drops into his mouth.” She instructed.

He paused sceptically. She looked up to him briefly when she noticed he wasn’t moving.

“Now!!”

He moved and did as instructed.

She became aware that his shoulder had a claw mark as well, but it looked more like a good scratch and not a gash so she left it for now.

“I’m here! What happened?!” Lincoln said bursting into the room.

The other’s started explaining but Clarke cut them off, eyes still never leaving her work.

“Good! Sanitize and look at his leg. Puncture wound, didn’t hit his artery, but it needs to be stitched up. You’ll need another needle and thread.”

Lincoln started right away on what Clarke told him.

“His torso?” He asked her.

“Lost most the blood from here I think. Four deep gashes, but no internal damage. Two are already sewed up, working on the third. They’ve stopped bleeding now, he’s lost too much blood.” She filled him in.

Her hand’s worked and worked as Lincoln looked at his leg.

“Clean wound, no damage.” He confirmed.

_Thank god._  Clarke thought. It could have so easily hit his artery.

She was about half way through the gash and when she pulled the thread through, Bellamy groaned and his hand flew up towards it.

“Grab his arm!” She yelled to the woman beside her, using her elbow to keep him away from touching the wound. “Hold it down!”

She did so with her free hand.

“Someone grab his other arm!” She ordered. Someone grabbed his other arm.

“Lincoln, do we keep him awake or use the ridenbluma?” _Sleepflower?_

“Keep him awake. If he sustained any sort of head injury he could slip into a deep sleep.” He explained. Clarke took a second to figure out what that meant.

“A coma.” She mumbled to herself.

“A what?!” He shouted in confusion as he worked.

“A coma. They aren’t dead, but you can’t wake them and they don’t respond to any pain?” She asked, clarifying.

“Yes.”

“It’s called a coma.” She informed.

She finished sewing the third and moved onto the last one, which was the smallest and the least deep.

Lincoln was already done with the small one on Bellamy’s thigh and he came over to examine the wounds.

“You’re doing great, Clarke. You’re sure there was no inside damage?” He questioned.

“There was none, just a lot of blood loss. It wouldn’t have been this bad if it hadn’t taken so long to get him here.” She explained.

“He lost consciousness only right before we got him here.” The woman measuring Bellamy’s pulse informed.

“That’s okay. You guys did good getting him here.” He assured them. “I’ll get the Bruskola woda. We need to run out any infection before it starts.” He began to move towards the door.

“I already did! 3 drops.”

“Okay good.” Instead he grabbed the green salve for healing wounds, it was called ‘laniktri’. _Sea tree._  He began putting it on top of his leg wound and then wrapped it up. By the time he was done, Clarke was snipping the thread to the last bout of stitches, and Lincoln moved in to cover them up in the salve and then wrap his torso in a large bandage.

She moved up to his shoulder and dismissed the woman, taking it upon herself to check his pulse again. It was weak.

His shoulder really didn’t look too bad at all thankfully, just a couple scrapes. She washed the black blood off of her hands and then went to disinfect his shoulder area. She took some of the salve to spread around, and placed a clean bandage over the small cuts.

Lincoln brought a large white blanket over and draped it over Bellamy to keep him warm.

She took a very large breath. _Done._

Then she looked to his face. He was breathing quickly. It went from flickers of pain to no response and tired as he continued to slip in and out of consciousness.

She ran her hand through his thick black curls… he took a sharp breath in, his eyes fluttered open for only a moment.

“Clarke.” He breathed with a small smile before he dozed off again.

Then she broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Just as a disclaimer I don't claim to know everything about medical stuff, but tried to educate myself to the best of my abilities.  
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! If you want updates follow me on twitter! ( @AtiaJoyR )


	11. Whenever you're ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you guys waiting so long! But here it is, hope you guys enjoy the chapter! This one's a bit of a different style, as I'm bringing Bellamy's point of view into the story. let me know what you think about that!

Chapter 11 – Whenever you’re ready

 

 

 

 

**BELLAMY’S P.O.V.**

 

 

Bellamy’s entire body felt weightless. He was vaguely aware of a slight burning at his core, and when he looked down at himself, he saw why. There was a large bright spot, like a small sun, coming out of his torso. It was warm; he could feel it beating softly through his veins. It was comfortable, and it was holding him in place.

His heart and his mind seemed in a state of euphoria.

He looked around himself and realized why he felt the weightlessness.

He was in the sky.

His body was floating above the bright white clouds, the sensation of everything together overwhelming him, and he wasn’t alone. A beautiful woman with long dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and skin that matched his own was staring back at him, beaming.

“My son.” Aurora sang. She still sounded so painfully familiar after not hearing her for so long; but even though she was right in front of him… the sound of her voice was very distant.

“Mom…” He cried in relief and happiness.

He forced his body forward to hug her, but when he did the sun in his centre grew hotter and heavy. He peeled back from the pain that coursed through him and instantly worked on making his body still. The less he moved, the less he’d feel that again. The pain went back to warmth.

“Mom, what’s happening?” He begged, all traces of his previous euphoria gone, and replaced with a debilitating fear.

When she spoke again, he couldn’t hear her. Even though her mouth moved, there was no sound. It seemed like she knew, because she just cocked her head to the side with one of the warm smiles he’d seen her give him a million times before, then looked down.

He followed her gaze down beneath the clouds that separated for them.

It was his land, surrounded by ocean. It was beautiful… and he felt proud. He saw something else. It was one of their ships. It was leaving the island. Then he saw it coming back, leaving, and coming back, repeatedly as days and nights passed quickly in front of his eyes. Six.

Six days passed.

He felt his heart sink, growing a little heavier.

He knew exactly what was happening, he was the one who ordered it the day the 48 arrived.

He looked back up to his mom, who was staring at him… she looked disappointed. He’d seen her give him that look a million times as well.

“Mom, I’m doing what’s best… I- I _have_ to.” He begged for her understanding.

She looked up above her, and he did too; following her silent instruction.

All of a sudden it was very dark… but it was beautiful. There were familiar pinholes all around, the same ones he could see above him at night on the ground that shone light through the darkness; although they looked a little different from here. There was a hollow but loud, steady noise that filled the vast air all around him.

He was lost in confusion until a moment later it dawned on him. This is where Clarke came from… his Queen of the sky.

The thought of her made his heart feel a little lighter… until his mother pointed at something in the distance.

He wasn’t supposed to know what that looked like, Clarke had never told him… but he did.

It was the Ark.

Again, his heart sank. It felt so heavy he thought he might start to fall out of the sky, but he didn’t.

He looked to his mom, pleading for sympathy in her eyes.

“Look.” She ordered… her voice only a soft whisper. He did.

There were sudden loud noises, huge booms, as the Ark separated from the main ring, and started to descend to earth. He watched it, he watched the outside start to burn as it entered the earth’s atmosphere, and he watched other parts of it burn up completely.

Then he was on the ground, still floating. It was dark out… night, but he felt hot; very hot. He looked down at himself and the little sun continued burning through him more than before. It wasn’t comfortable now.

He saw the ark in the distance, amidst trees and mountains…

All he felt was guilt. He looked around for his mom, but she wasn’t there.

“Mom?!”

And then he started to drop. The wind as he fell towards the soil made the ball of sun at his centre scold his entire body with heat.

Right before his body hit the ground, he woke up with a sharp gasp.

 

His confusion made his body still... he didn’t want to move. When he tried to open his eyes it was blurry and his head started pounding violently so he kept them shut and focused on his breathing. Once it had slowed as much as he could make it, he focused on feeling.

 

The first thing he noticed was how light his head felt. And then, contrary to how he felt in his dream, how absolutely freezing he was. He could feel blankets and furs around him, but it didn’t seem to be helping all that much. His centre, however, was hot. He flexed his arm in hope of lifting it to the burning, but it didn’t go far before the movement caused too much pain, so he gave up on that.

His entire body ached.

Then he remembered what happened… the panther in the woods. After it had jumped for him, it had only taken him a split second to go for his dagger. But it knocked him down too quickly and he just couldn’t reach it. It was terrible pain and struggling chaos, and the panther was gone a second after, and then there was just a lot of commotion from the hunting party. Someone must have killed it while it was on top of him. He remembered they sent someone to the village, but they figured the healers would be back already so they settled on taking him to the castle where they had the proper equipment.

He thought he’d tried to walk, he’d been awake as they tried to get him back, but he didn’t recall too much after that. He didn’t remember actually getting there.

It seemed more like a blurry dream he couldn’t quite get a hold on.

It was flashes of passing trees in the dark, voices, pain, a path, the castle, more pain, and then – Clarke. He was sure… he’d heard Clarke… maybe seen her.

He tried to open his eyes again, and this time it was a little easier. His head pounded and he felt a little nauseous and dizzy, but he toughed through it. It took him a few blinks for everything to focus in. _Where the hell am I?_

He moved his head to the right and saw shelves and shelves of jars. Medical, he was in medical.

He glanced around a little more and saw a small table with clothing on it that was drenched in black. His blood. He knew that, for sure. No one else here had blood like that. It was what looked like his shirt and pants, they looked like they had been cut, and there was also something that looked thicker, like a jacket maybe, which was soaked through with drying blood.

It was quiet.

_Clarke._ Where was she? Maybe he’d just dreamt her… but her voice had seemed clear. All of a sudden he felt a twitch on his hand.

He slowly turned his head the other direction, to the left, and noticed a head of beautiful gold curly hair that was lying facedown on the bed next to him. It was her… no one else had hair that looked quite like hers, and he’d had it memorized already.

She was holding his hand, and he thought about squeezing it, but noticed she was sleeping, so he let her be and focused on trying to move little parts of his body; his fingers on the hand not holding hers, his toes, very lightly rolling his shoulders. He was managing well.

Just then he felt his heart do something weird, it felt like one extra or one less beat, and an unpleasant pressure in his chest. It caused him to take a deep breath in.

Clarke’s head snapped up at the sound, and then they were just looking at each other in a daze, her more than him. He hadn’t meant to wake her up.

“Bellamy,” She breathed in relief, squeezing his hand and bringing her other hand up to his head, running it through his hair. “You’re awake.” She smiled but looked as if she was about to cry, and he didn’t want that.

He gave her the best smile he could muster up.

“Princess.” Was all he could croak out before he felt nausea and dizziness hit him again. It must have shown, because she immediately stopped him.

“You can’t exert yourself right now, Bellamy. You need to sleep.” She instructed.

She walked over to one of the many tables in there and came back with a small vial containing a purple fluid.

“Bruskola woda.” He acknowledged; a whisper being all he could manage at this point. He felt like any more effort would make him throw up… but he wanted to talk. He wanted to be sure of himself. To have some control.

“Yes. Open your mouth.”

He gave her a look of mocking uncertainty and a sly grin, and he fully expected the eye roll he got in return.

“Hope you’re not trying to kill me.” He gently raised an eyebrow to her. Of course he knew it wouldn’t, but he was after a reaction and he got it.

“Just shut up and open.” She grinned, matching his whisper.

He felt success at making her smile again, with no tears in her eyes this time.

“You just about took care of that yourself.” She scolded as she put a few drops into his mouth.

“Is there an infection?” He braced himself for the worst.

“No, thank god. It’s just precautionary, and this will help a little with the pain, too.”

“Bellamy!” Octavia’s voice rang loud and it made him wince. He could hear her making her way over to him.

“He’s a little sensitive to sound at the moment…” Clarke warned her, noticing the look on his face.

She whispered a quick “Sorry.” And Clarke moved so that Octavia could take her place. Bellamy couldn’t help but smile at his little sister, who looked sick with worry.

“You had me terrified, big brother. Nou dula daun nodotaim.” _Don’t do that again._  She tried to make her voice sound angry, but he knew better; and the whisper she was speaking in made it impossible anyway. He just smiled at her, the best he could.

“Ai laik kiken, nou get daun hashta ai, O.” _I’m alive, don’t worry about me._  It took him too long to get the sentence out, and he couldn’t put enough casual tone behind it as he wanted to.

“Only thanks to Clarke. Otherwise you would have bled to death.” She pressed, turning towards Clarke. “I haven’t thanked you enough, truly.” She told her sincerely. And then she got up and hugged her. Clarke looked a little surprised, but then hugged her back.

“I’m just glad I was here.”

“Now there’s something I thought I’d never see.” He chuckled lowly. The movement hurt a lot, making his face scrunch tightly, but it was worth it.

“Don’t… your body can’t take a lot right now. Just rest.” Clarke begged of him, moving out of the hug to his side and sitting in the chair. “Please. You need to heal.”

“She’s right. I’ll leave so you can sleep.” Octavia decided, moving towards the door before stopping and turning towards Clarke once more. “Muchof, Clarke.” _Thank you._

Clarke just nodded and smiled humbly at her and then Octavia left.

“You understood her?” He asked surprised. She dipped her head down a little.

“A lot of people have been thanking me the last little while.” She admitted a little bashfully.

“You healed me by yourself?”

“Lincoln and Nyko were still in the village, and if I had waited for them you could have died. Besides, I knew what I was doing. I don’t know why everyone’s so quick to discard me, I really do know what I’m doi-“

“Clarke.” He stopped her, trying his voice a little louder. It didn’t make him feel as sick as just a few minutes ago. He didn’t know what he wanted to tell her. There were so many things, yet nothing he could decide on, and now she was just staring at him expectantly.

Instead he tried to move the arm closest to her, the opposite one he’d tried before, and it didn’t hurt nearly as much. He brought it towards her and slipped it through the hair at the back of her head. She was close to him, but not close enough. He pulled her in, so their foreheads were touching.

There was heat on the back of her neck that he could feel rising and her breath kept catching and releasing at odd times because of the intimacy.

Bellamy felt pride at being the person who could make her react that way… she was like a goddess; like Aphrodite. Truth be told, no one had ever captured him the way that she had. He still couldn’t decide what to say to her, so he settled for something simple.

“Thank you, ai hainofi.” _My princess._  He murmured.

 

People came in and out over the next while, mostly Lincoln and Nyko, to double-check on him. He soon started feeling better, and he wanted to try moving. He tried to convince Clarke, Nyko and Lincoln to put him in his own bed. At least there he could sit up, and after he proved he was feeling better by drinking some soup they had brought, they reluctantly agreed and transferred him over. He’d gathered now that it was the next night, and obviously the blood bond hadn’t happened. He was sure that was making Clarke a little anxious, but she hadn’t said anything about it.

 

Once in his room he felt much more comfortable, and already felt like his strength was returning. He’d got to see his torso then and mostly he just found it amusing. When Clarke looked at it she just had fear on her face. He wanted to distract her from that. To get rid of the worry that made the crease grow between her brows.

“Why don’t you go get something to eat? Nyko will help me get dressed and you can come back after.” He interrupted her eyes on the black gashes that covered his stomach. She didn’t argue, and dismissed herself quietly.

When she came back a short while later he was sitting up in his bed and he thought it felt nice to use some strength. He was still sore, sure. But he was feeling better and better every hour.

 

Clarke didn’t leave his side. Nor did he want her too. Her presence was like fresh air to him.

He watched her as she kept falling asleep in the chair by him. She looked uncomfortable, so he invited her to sleep on the other side of the bed. She’d only fought it a little before finally giving in. She was sleeping almost the second her head hit the pillow, and he wondered how long she’d been awake for.

She was fascinating to him; both in body and mind.

But as he watched her, he couldn’t suppress the guilt he felt. That he’d _been_ feeling, since their talk that first night. But his duty as King came first… and he knew that more than anything.

 

 

**CLARKE’S P.O.V**

 

 

Everyone had been thanking her. She saved the life of their King. And she was struggling. Wanheda… the commander of death… was being thanked for saving a life, and the irony was not lost on her every time someone gave her the credit.

It was too close for comfort… it had been hell. Absolute hell. After she stitched him up, all it took was that smile, her name coming from his lips, and she had completely broke. Lincoln had ordered everyone else to leave so he could console her. It wasn’t like she didn’t know that she did a good enough job or anything like that... but it was just the trauma of the situation hitting her all at once. Her sudden realization of how much she didn’t want this man to die, and not just as her patient, or as the person who was going to keep them safe once the blood bond happened… it was more than that.

She’d helped assist in medical on the Ark all the time. She’d seen people die up there, and god knows she’d seen enough people die down here. But him… it just felt different. It already felt like they were connected somehow, more than she had felt connected to anyone else.

 

She didn’t want to leave his side, and he never complained about it; unless he noticed that she needed to eat. Two day’s after the incident that’s exactly what happened, so reluctantly she peeled herself away from him to go to the dining hall for lunch.

She was on her way there and she was glad to be walking alone. Some of her people had been trying to check on her but she was just trying to deal with Bellamy right now, at least until he was totally better. She felt as though her patience, along with her sanity, was hanging by a very small thread today.

She was almost to the dining hall and she could smell the food. Her stomach instantly started to grumble as she realized just how hungry she really was.

Everyone was already eating by the time she got in there and got her food. She thought about ignoring her people completely and going to sit up at the front with Octavia and Manuel, but figured she may as well just sit with the 47 and get the questions and concerns over with.

Clarke was a little surprised to notice Roan sitting down with Raven at their table, Jasper on her other side. She looked around, wondering if Finn was here to see this while Jasper made room so she could sit by her friend. And there he was; Finn sat right across from his ex-girlfriend and had a less-than-enthused look on his face that made Clarke want to laugh.

“So how is he?! Will he be okay?” Jasper questioned as she sat down with her plate full of food.

“Yeah, what’s going on? We’ve been left in the dark here. Everyone’s been worried.” Miller added.

“He’s doing a lot better. He’s pretty much back to normal, just taking things easy for now.” She assured.

Everyone kind of took a breath of relief except for Roan, who she knew was already in the know, and Finn, who let out a scoff.

“You got something to say, Finn? Just say it.” She provoked. There wasn’t even time to think about it before she’d even comprehended that she snapped at him. The words had just slipped out.

It made her feel hot with rage. Her fists clenching and her hunger all but gone. It was only a small thought in her head that she shouldn’t indulge him… but she didn’t let it hinder her. His reaction was a little surprised, but he made the wrong decision when he attempted to push it further.

“Not at all. _So_   _happy_  the _King_  is going to make a full recovery.” He mocked through clenched teeth.

That was all she needed.

“That _King_ , is the only person keeping your arrogant ass alive right now. If you have half a brain, you’ll understand that and have a little more respect.”

“Respect? Like the kind he’ll have for you once your married? Or has it happened already? He’s not going to care about you Clarke. He doesn’t. All you are to him is a pawn in his strategy! Can’t you see that?!” He yelled, drawing attention now.

Her rage combusted inside of her, it made everything slow and vivid. Her mind was focused. All of the hurt he’d caused her. All the pain he caused Raven… all the feeling’s she hadn’t wanted to deal with and never got to say her piece to. She was ready to tear Finn down to nothing.

She stood up slowly, never taking her eyes off his face, which she wanted more than anything to punch… but that wasn’t how she’d really hurt him, and she knew that. Her voice came out in a low utter, with venom lining every word.

“Float yourself. You know nothing.” She let it sink in as she looked down at him. “You don’t know how to show love. You don’t know how to keep it. You have never, could never, and will never… have half the amount of respect for anyone or anything, compared to your King.” It took him back. It seemed as though the entire room was almost silent. Clarke didn’t care, though. She wasn’t shouting or causing a scene, but she was well aware that everyone was wary of her, and just this once; she was okay with embracing that.

Finn stood too and looked like he was about to say something, but nothing came out. He looked angry and hurt, but so was Clarke. He needed to know that his words, his actions, everything he did had a consequence… he just hadn’t had to deal with them until now. All he could do was stare back at her… a mix of emotions. It was only a moment before she heard someone walk up behind her.

“Wanheda?” It was Manuel, checking up on her, trying to break the confrontation.

She put her hand out to the side, assuring him, but not looking away from Finn.

“It’s fine, Manuel.” She said calmly. She took a deep breath through her nose and when she spoke next it was to Finn. “I will not fight with you anymore, Finn. If it is a struggle for you to stay here and watch this alliance go through, because _it will_ … then you should leave, simple as that.” She broke her gaze and looked to the whole table now, all of their attention on her. “When we were sent down here… they told us it was for a second chance. But make no mistake, they sent us to die. And we should have… multiple times over. But by some miracle, we made it here… to this beautiful, incredible land. On the Ark we weren’t given second chances, but here, we have been. And I intend to make it count.” The room was completely silent, she was really only talking to her table, but everyone was listening.

“This place has rules. If you can’t follow them then you will be dealt with or you will leave. And I won’t stop you. We’ve found our place. We’ve found our second chance, our hope. We’ve found unity again.” Clarke looked back to Finn who was still standing, completely broken, across from her. “If you threaten the King, then you threaten me. Don’t let it happen again.”

She walked out of the room, and just before she was out she heard people start mumbling and whispering about everything.

She felt proud of herself. She thought she dealt with it pretty well. She didn’t stop walking until she found herself in the stables. She hadn’t thought about going there specifically, but it’s where she ended up. It had only taken her about 10 minutes to get there and within that time she felt like she’d thought about a million different things… but mostly her father.

She looked for Dyaus, the white horse that she’d seen before, and found him poking his head out, nodding his large head towards her.  
Clarke didn’t keep track of time as she stood outside his stall petting him. People had come and gone, some of them acknowledged her, but she only nodded back. She didn’t want to talk. She was so tired… the last few days had just wrecked her.

She was starving, but knew she wasn’t going back to that castle. Not yet.

She kept petting Dyaus and eventually her thoughts settled enough for her to leave her own head and smile at the beautiful creature that kept nudging her and nibbling on her long tangled hair.

“I know, it’s gotten too long.” She said, pulling her hair from the horse’s mouth. She had an idea then, and she acted on it before she could talk herself out of it.

She walked to the end of the barn where there were all sorts of things hanging up and on a table for the horses. She was sure she’d seen what she was looking for when she’d come here before… _Ahh!_  There they were. A pair of slightly rusty scissors, probably for cutting the horses’ mains and tales… but it would do.

She took a silver brush that was for the horses and flipped it over to use as a mirror, propping it up on the table and kneeling so she could see herself. It wasn’t great, but it would do. She sectioned off a piece of her hair in the front and lifted the scissors to it.

“You sure about that?” Clarke gasped, dropping the scissors in reaction to her surprise at hearing a voice; but it wasn’t just any voice, it was Bellamy’s.

“Bellamy, you should not be out of bed yet!” She stood up. He wasn’t alone; Manuel was standing in the entryway. He had probably told Bellamy what happened in the dining hall.

She had to admit, he was looking strong once again. His colour had returned and he had no problems acting like him self recently.

“Yes, I should. I need to build my strength again, I’ve been out for too long.” He said decidedly, as if he’d already put lots of thought into this.

Deep down beneath her insecurities Clarke knew he was right, he was doing well, and healing well, it’d be good for him to get back to normal. She conceded with a nod reluctantly, and bent down to pick up the scissors and put them back on the table before walking over to him.

“At least tell me you have bandages on.” She sought, lifting up his shirt to check without a second thought. Of course, there were none. She looked at him disapprovingly and he smirked at her.

“My mother always told me wounds need air to heal.” He said, grabbing her hands gently away from his shirt and holding them. His eyes stayed on hers, and hers on his as his smirk faded and awareness replaced it. “Is that why you came out here?”

Clarke sighed deeply and looked down at his hands, holding hers. Yep, Manuel had defiantly told him what happened. She didn’t know if she was mad or thankful to him for that yet.

“I guess when you put it like that.” She took her hands back and folded her arms across her chest, walking to sit against the wall by the table. Bellamy joined her with only a slight groan at the effort it took to sit. She’d tried to help him but he just pushed her hand away, insinuating he could do it himself. He was so stubborn. But then again, so was she.

“You know… you can come to me with whatever you need.” He announced. He took a bit of a shaky breath before he continued and started to play with his hands. “I really- I mean I…” He struggled to get his words out, and it made Clarke look at him like he was someone else. This was the first time she’d seen or heard him not be completely sure of himself, and the smile that grew on her face made it clear she thought it was amusing.

He noticed and sighed frustratingly, but then laughed at himself.

“I… I just want our marriage to be real, as real as it gets. Not just for the alliance.” He clarified.

“I know, you’ve told me. I will be yours.” She mumbled quietly.

“But I will also be _yours_ , Clarke. And if you… don’t want… anything, I understand that. I’m not going to force anything on you.” He was whispering to her intently.

She looked at him bewildered. Did he think she didn’t want the alliance?

“I still want to get married. We need this alliance-“

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” He cut her off in a whisper, and took her hand. His brows furrowed and his eyes poured deep into hers.

_Ohhh… That._  Comprehension took over her face. It made nerves twist deep down in Clarke’s stomach. They hadn’t really talked about their physical relationship after the wedding… she had kind of tried not to think about it. It’s not that she wasn’t attracted to him, because she was. It’s just that… she hadn’t really done a lot before, other than with a girl up on the Ark and with Finn down on the ground. It just hadn’t been something she gave a lot of time to, until now. And now that she was thinking about it her mind seemed to be racing through the reasoning’s about a million miles a second.

“Whenever, or if, you decide that it’s something your ready for… I just want you to know its something I want. And I don’t mean to scare you with any of this or overwhelm you. I just want you to know I don’t expect anything of you once we’re married.” He squeezed her hand. “Whenever you’re ready.”

She smiled bashfully. Maybe it was just the last few days; feeling like she’d almost lost him, what Finn had insinuated this morning, her lack of sleep… or maybe it just made sense. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t thought much about it before, because it had just made sense.

She rubbed her thumb down the side of his hand.

“It’s what I want.” She murmured decidedly, turning her head to look up to him. His expression didn’t disappoint. His smile was huge, and his breath grew a little heavier.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Once we’re married.”

“Ai hainofi.” _My Princess._  He sighed happily, and it made her smile. He took a breath and changed the subject then. “I brought you something.” He told her, moving around the corner and calling for Manuel. He came in with something wrapped up in a cloth and gave it to Bellamy. He unwrapped it to reveal some bread and cut fruit.

She took it right away and started eating.

“Thank you! Ugh, I’m starving.” She admitted.

“Manuel said you didn’t get to eat.”

“Yeah, there were some… more pressing matters. Apparently.”

“So I heard.” She looked up to see him patiently waiting for her to say something.

“I’m sorry I caused a scene. It’s dealt with now and I don’t really want to linger on it.” She finished.

“Don’t apologize. From the sounds of it you dealt with it well.”

When she turned back to her food her hair fell into her face and she pushed it back a little irritated. Bellamy reached around her to the table and grabbed the scissors.

“You want me to cut it?” He asked her. She gave him an amused look, raising an eyebrow to him. “I’m serious. I used to cut O’s all the time. I’m not bad.” He bragged.

She rolled her eyes and moved out from the wall, sitting in front of him with her back to him.

“Fine, but if you make me look ridiculous I’ll have to kill you.” She joked.

“Those are pretty high stakes, but I’ve already beat death once this week, so why not try again.” He chuckled.

She was going to make a smart-ass comment but when he gathered her hair to the back, his touch sent a shiver down her spine that made her forget about it instantly.  
“How short?”

She shrugged. She wanted something drastic. She felt like she needed it.

“Shoulders maybe?”

“Okay.”

He made the first cut, and she kept eating while he worked. He seemed to be taking his time, not that she minded, but she wondered if it was on purpose.

“Can I ask you something?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Sha, ai hainofi.” _Yes, my princess._  She was proud she understood more of their language now.

“Why is your blood black?” She wasn’t sure if she was aloud to ask about it, but she’d really wanted to know. She had never heard of someone having black blood.

His response was a little hesitant, and his hands stopped in her hair and rested on her neck for a second as he swallowed loud, then kept cutting.

“I’m a Natblida.” His voice was quiet, but firm. He made another cut, and moved himself around to her side to work on the hair there. His entire demeanour changed to a serious one. “Nightblood… There’s not very many like me.”

“Were you born with it?”

“Yes.”

“How did it happen? No one in space ever had it… it had to have happened on the ground.”

“It is the blood of the first commander. And it is an honour to carry it in your veins… but it also means great sacrifice, or great leadership.” She thought about that, and something in her thoughts connected. She looked at him questioningly.

“Is Lexa a nightblood? That’s why she is commander of all the clans?”

He just nodded in response, eyes never leaving the hair he was still cutting.

It made sense.

“Does Octavia?”

“No. Thank the Gods.”

He sounded genuinely relieved for someone who’d just called it an honour. But the information so far only led to more curiosity.

“Why aren’t you the commander?” Her question stopped him.

“Clarke…” He didn’t continue until she looked at him, and his eyes were scolding. “No one on the mainland other than Lexa knows I am a nightblood. Not even some of the people here know. Loyalty goes a long way on this island, and Lexa has given _us all_  a better life in return.” She wasn’t completely sure how this all tied together. But he got back to work on her hair and moved to her other side to finish up, so she decided to drop the subject for now… but she wanted to figure this all out at some point.

He finished her hair and they stood up. She picked up the brush to try and get a look at her self in the reflective silver, but it wasn’t the best way to see.

“I have a mirror in my room.” He offered.

She agreed and they made their way back.

 

She stood in front of the mirror and looked back at a woman who looked older. Much more put together, more mature, like a leader. That’s not what she’d been going for, or even wanted in the first place, but she loved it. Bellamy really had done a great job.

It was cut just above her shoulder, and it made her curls really stand out.

Bellamy came to stand behind her and his hands rested on her arms as his chin came down to rest in her neck and she could feel his breath and lips against her skin. The closeness made a heat grow deep in her belly and her chest go hot. She took a deep breath in and tried not to make his presence disorient her.   
“You look like a fierce Queen.” He murmured into her neck. That was all it took for her head to spin a little. She turned to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He brought his head down to hers, their foreheads resting on each other’s, and his hands found her waist.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“For what?”

“For everything. Helping me find my strength.”

He chuckled at that, his half smile pulling up at the corner of his mouth. She felt intoxicated by him in this moment, a total goner.

“Ai hainofi… I do not doubt for a second that your strength has always been there. _Em ste yuj_.” _My princess. She is strong._

“What does that mean?” She pulled her head away from him to look into his brown eyes. She knew he has said it to her before… but she never knew what it meant.

He smiled and pulled her over to a picture on the wall.   
She’d seen it the first time in here, and looked at it lots since then. The woman was beautiful.

“This was my mother.” He told her. It made sense, she looked like Octavia, and she could see Bellamy in her features as well.

“Aurora.” She acknowledged.

“Yes…” He took a step closer to the painting and swiped his thumb over a small plaque at the bottom of the picture that had a short phrase inscribed on it.

“I wasn’t born on this Island, my mother spent most of mine and Octavia’s childhood hiding us. It was never safe… until we came here.

Before that, Octavia would freak out anytime mom had to leave us. So she would always tell O this story before she left, about a warrior who grew up in the forest, just like her; one who never had a home. ‘Em ste a gona, em ste nou fir in, em ste yuj.’” Clarke looked from the painting to him. “‘She is a warrior, she is not afraid, she is strong.’”

Clarke took a step closer to the painting and looked closely at the words.

“Em ste yuj.” She muttered to herself.

“It is the first thing I noticed about you. It’s foolish to think that someone else can make you strong, Clarke. Like your blood… it’s there when you enter the world. You have it in you; it’s part of your spirit, your being. No one can give it to you and no one can take it away.”

She hadn’t realized how close they had gotten until there was a knock at the door and she jumped back.

“Min op.” _Enter._   Bellamy called out to the door, his eyes still glued on her until the door opened.

“My apologies, my King. Clarke.” Nyko said. “You’re looking better. I’m glad.”

“I’m feeling much better.” Bellamy assured.

“Your people are growing restless to see their King.”

“Tell them to gather for dinner tonight and send Octavia to the village to give an update.” He decided.

“Yes, my King.” He said as he started to close the door.

“Nyko, just wait.” He called.

He turned towards Clarke and placed a hand on her cheek. He talked low, only for her ears.

“Let’s have the blood bond tomorrow.” He suggested.

Clarke’s stomach instantly turned and she had a flush of nerves. But she wasn’t unprepared. She was ready for this. She nodded in agreement and his smile made her weak.

He turned back to Nyko as he pulled Clarke close to his side.

“Change of plans. Tell them there will be an announcement tonight. And have Octavia and the council in the meeting room in 10 minutes, please.”

“Yes, my King.”

He left, and Clarke’s nerves grew even more. He brushed her hot cheek and they walked together out of his room and down the hallway to the castle. There was a group of her people walking and right away Clarke noticed Finn with them, and he was staring at her. She looked to Bellamy and his face was hard, looking at the same person she had been.

“Will you be alright on your own for a little while?” He asked, looking to her now.

“Yeah, I’ll just go to medical. See if Lincoln needs any help.”

“Okay.” He turned to her and slid his hands into her now short hair, cupping both sides of her head and planting a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t be late for dinner.” He smirked at her.

She looked at him longingly and smirked back at him.

“I won’t.”

He chuckled before he turned and walked off to his meeting, and Clarke watched him go, thinking he’d probably done all that out of spite for Finn. She didn’t think pride or cynical happiness was the appropriate feeling in that scenario but it’s what she felt.

 

When she turned to go to medical Finn was walking up to her looking sad and Raven was running behind him like she was trying to stop him.

“You cut your hair.” Finn frowned at her.

“So?”

“It looks good. Really good.” He backtracked, trying to walk close to her and keep up.

She was aware Raven was following them, and she was sure she was ready to tackle Finn if he started being a dick again.

“Raven, want to come to medical with me?” She inquired cheerfully, ignoring Finn.

“Yeah, sure!” She skipped up from behind her to Clarke’s side and they walked together. Finn stopped.

“Clarke I just want to talk to you!” He called to her, begging.

She stopped and looked back at him, cynical smile and all.

“We talked this morning. I have nothing left to say.”

Her and Raven turned back around and went to medical.

“Your hair really does look good. What brought all that on? Did you cut it by yourself?”

“Thanks, I needed a change. And no, Bellamy cut it.”

“Bellamy.” She repeated, unbelieving.

“Yep. I guess he used to cut his sister’s hair so he’s pretty good at it.”

“Huh, lucky you!”

“You know, you don’t have to actually be here if you don’t want… I was just trying to get away from Finn.”

“Yeah I know, but it’s okay. I miss you! Haven’t seen much of you in the last couple days…. That was a close call, huh?”

“Too close.” She sighed.

They walked into medical. There were actually a couple people here and Lincoln was running between patients.

“Clarke! Nice hair. Can you help out?” He smiled kindly.

Clarke went to sanitize her hands and started to help a patient.

 

Raven had been walking around the room keeping busy while Clarke worked with some people that had minor injuries. Mostly just from sparring in the weapons room.

“Woah!!” She heard Raven call from across the room just as she finished wrapping up someone’s sprained wrist. There were no other patients left and Lincoln was cleaning something up, but he went to go look at whatever Raven was looking at.

“What is it?” Clarke called back as her patient got up, thanked her and left.

“This place has power!”

“What?” Clarke got up and walked over to her to see what the hell she was talking about. She was looking between something on the wall and something up on the ceiling.

“There’s an outlet here. And lights up there! There must be a power generator somewhere. How did I not notice this before?” Raven beamed excitedly.

“Oh my god. Clarke breathed in shock. “I bet the whole castle has them. If it’s solar or wind powered we could get the whole castle running.” They looked at each other excitedly.

“Okay, now it’s you guys who are speaking a different language.” Lincoln chimed in.

“What’s going on?” Octavia’s voice came from the doorway and they all turned around to see her and Bellamy standing there looking confused.

“Come over here!” Clarke called them.

 

They explained to them what everything was and how it would work, if they could find the right supplies. Raven did most the talking, and she didn’t hold back bragging about how much she’d be able to accomplish.

Clarke wasn’t sure how they were going to react.

“Even if we just got power going in medical, it would make a huge difference in the things we could do here for the patients.” Clarke pointed out to Bellamy.

He nodded in agreement.

“I’ll have to see what you mean first, but we’ll give it a try. There’s a tech room we can take you to have a look at. See if there’s anything of use there.”

“A tech room?! Oh my god, what are we waiting for, let’s go!” Raven burst with eagerness.

“Maybe after… the blood bond.” He stopped her. “Once we’ve established trust between clans and become one.” He clarified.

“Oh… yeah, of course.” Raven conceded a little disappointed.

“Octavia was just about to go to the village to deliver an update and an announcement, and also check up on the progress since the fire. Lincoln, I’d like you to go with her. Grab some food, Take your horses and be back before dinner.” Bellamy ordered. Lincoln smiled at his black haired girl who looked lost in his eyes, and then they left together.

“Raven, just keep things under wraps for now, but you’re welcome to explore the other rooms and see if we could get power throughout the whole castle.”

Raven raised her hand in a teasing salute to Bellamy.

“Will do, your highness.” She turned to leave but turned back around before she was out of the door. “Hey, uh… when’s the blood bond happening, now that you’re better?” She asked.

Clarke and Bellamy looked at each other with the same grins and he gestured to Raven, insinuating it was okay for Clarke to tell her.

“Tomorrow, actually.” Clarke chuckled nervously.

“Well, damn!” She looked between them suggestively smiling.

“But, we’re telling everyone tonight at dinner, so don’t say anything.”

Raven gestured zipping up her lips and throwing away the key before she turned and skipped away happily.

“Would your people be okay with the advances in the castle?”

“I choose what’s best for my people. If I decided this is best then they follow. But that’s why I’ll have to see it first.” He explained.

“Okay.” She smiled at him.

 

 

Later on before dinner Octavia and Lincoln were back from the village. They relayed that everyone took the news of the wedding tomorrow well, and everyone was beyond relieved when they heard the King was making a full recovery.

When dinner rolled around, it was extremely busy. Everyone was there and they were all talking loudly and visiting with each other.

When Clarke came into the dinner hall it seemed everyone was suddenly aware of her. They all yelled thankful praises, she kept hearing ‘Wanheda’, and some thanking her one on one for saving their King.

It really opened her eyes to how everyone else viewed him. He didn’t rule through fear, he ruled by being fair, and kind. Through uniting people and doing what was best for them. Her admiration for him was through the roof.

She couldn’t wait to have him as her husband. It almost felt too good to be true, right now. But she also didn’t know where he was at the moment, so she went up to their table at the front of the room where Octavia and Lincoln were taking their seats.

“Where is he?” She asked them.

“I put more salve on his wounds and bandaged them up, he was just going to get dressed and come. He should be here any minute.” Lincoln answered.

Clarke was inexplicably nervous. She’d been hungry before, but now the nerves just made her feel like she was going to throw up. She was shaky and a little clammy. She couldn’t get a hold of herself. She kept fidgeting and couldn’t stop her mind from racing.

“Did Bellamy cut your hair?” Octavia asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. He did. I was gonna do it myself but, he said he used to cut yours all the time, so, I let him.” She explained. She was trying hard but she couldn’t make her voice even.

“It looks good. Suits you.” Octavia complimented. She felt pretty good hearing that from her of all people… she was one of the most beautiful people she’d ever seen. The Blake’s had good genetics; that was for sure.

“Thanks.” She mumbled.

She saw someone walk in, and her heart skipped a beat in anticipation, but it was just Roan. He came to his seat at their table and she watched as his eyes found Raven across the room and winked at her. She seemed so relaxed and composed. She wished she could just trade bodies with her. Or maybe it was her mind that needed trading… she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t have time to think about it because then Bellamy walked in.

He looked incredible, like always. His hair was pushed back and his navy shirt was hugging him perfectly. She had changed before dinner as well, into a low cut navy blue shirt and some black pants, and realized now that they were matching.

He came and sat down beside her, his arm finding a place on her back.

“You look incredible, my princess.” He murmured to her, leaning in. She didn’t get a chance to respond though because the entire room burst into a roar of noise that took her by surprise. Everyone was cheering and lifting their fists into the air, coming to the front of the room.

“Gyon op, Haihefa!” _Long live the King!_  They chanted over and over, those words filling the room. It was truly beautiful, to see these people show love and support of their King. She didn’t know if it was Bellamy, the chant, or what it was… but her nerves finally left her with a deep breath, and she felt like she could think clearly again.

Bellamy stood and the chant dissipated into cheers and claps until he brought his arms up signalling to calm everyone down into silence. Bellamy’s demeanour was proud, and grateful. His smile was huge and he looked like he was home. These people were his home. Once the room was quiet he began.

“Muchof, ai kru. _Thank you, my people._  As you all know, it’s been a rough few days. But thanks to Clarke…” He looked down to her, pride beaming from every crevice of his face, holding his hand out for her, she took it, coming to stand beside him as people cheered for her. Bellamy gestured for the room to quiet down again. “Thanks to Clarke, my life has been spared. And thanks to our warriors, the damage in the village has already been fully rebuilt after the fire. It makes me proud… to see our people come together in time of need. Unity truly binds us.” He looked to Clarke again, still holding onto her hand. She was completely focused on him, and she knew now was the time.

“So, with that being said… I think _this_  union has waited long enough. The blood bond ceremony will happen tomorrow!” He raised their hands up above them, and the room erupted with cheers again. Clarke laughed at the joy of the situation and Bellamy did the same. Their hands came back down but they didn’t let go. When the room was finally quiet again he continued.

“Now, I know it’s not morning. But I feel this is long overdue.

Today… we gather, to break the fast of the night with shared food, and to break the war’s of yesterday, with shared unity. _Gon gedanes_!”

“ _Gon gedanes_!” _To unity!_

Clarke’s heart was full. She said the words, and watched as everyone, her own people included, all repeated the mantra.

This was their home. This is where they belonged. She felt it in her bones.

 

Tomorrow, they would belong to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, hopefully it won't take me a week this time to update, haha! Let me know what you thought about this chapter!! I love reading your comments!


	12. Until the end of my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it finally is!! And its BASICALLY ALL BELLAMY AND CLARKE.  
> WARNING!!! .... Theres some more descriptive thing's than I originally planned for, but Ive edited the tags accordingly. This is my first time writing anything so go easy on me.  
> Sorry it took so long, things have been crazy to say the least. In 2 weeks I go for surgery and won't have much to do while I recover, so you'll probably be getting more out of me then!!

Chapter 12 – Until the end of my soul

 

 

 

 

**BELLAMY’S P.O.V**

He was exhausted, he needed sleep but… the events of the day had him thinking about it endlessly. _She_ had him thinking about it endlessly. There was one small story that his mother used to read to him all the time.

As he entered his room alone he went straight to the shelves, which held all his favourites. He searched for the small grey book that he knew had the story in it. It took a while, and he’d almost given up, but finally he found it.

It was more worn that he’d remembered… the edges of the cloth bound book were ripped and the grey looked more like brown or black in some places.

He went to lie on his bed and flipped open to the page that had the corner already folded down, and began to read.

 

_It was a comet._

_The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning._

_And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him._

_It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: Direction, beauty, meaning._

_There are many who couldn’t understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again…_

_And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart._

_The boy saw the comet and suddenly his life had meaning._

 

It enveloped him completely. Maybe it was his nerves for tomorrow, but he read the story over and over… well into the night before he finally let himself fall into sleep.

 

 

 

**CLARKE’S P.O.V**

 

Clarke’s sleep had been wildly un-restful because of nerves, and her morning was crazy. There were tons of attendants in her room preparing her for the big day. All morning she was repeating the 2 phrases she was told she’d have to say in their language. ‘Oso tai choda op kom jus.’ _We bind ourselves in blood._  And ‘Oso keryon ste teina.’ _Our souls are entwined._

She felt relief flood her when she saw Raven come in.

“Raven!”

“Hey, how ya holding up?”

“Um, okay I guess. I’m just nervous. I feel unprepared.” She took a shaky breath.

“Do you still want to go through with this?”

“Yes.” She said decidedly, and when she said it out loud some of the nerves left her, until someone came over and started doing her hair… then the nerves came flooding back.

“I wonder if I can have this room tonight.” Raven wondered out loud.

Clarke froze and looked to her.

“What?”

“Oh, well… I just assumed you wouldn’t be sleeping in here anymore? Sorry…” She stammered over the awkwardness.

“Oh, no… yeah, I won’t be. Didn’t really think of that.” Clarke mumbled.

Raven’s eyes narrowed and she came to sit beside Clarke while the attendants continued to work on her hair.

“Have you talked about it? With Bellamy? You shouldn’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“No, we talked about it. It’s all good. I just… I’m not thinking properly right now. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Raven laughed.

“Relax, okay? This is good. Everything’s gonna be great.” Raven comforted.

“I know. I just don’t want to screw anything up.” She admitted. The lady behind her declared that she was done with her hair. She wanted to go over to her mirror to look at it but another attendant whisked her away to put what looked like makeup on. Clarke wasn’t too familiar with it, it was used on the Ark for very special occasions, but it wasn’t available to everyone.

The ‘makeup’ turned out to be more of a ceremonial thing than a vanity thing. She had a black powder blended into the crease of her eyes and underneath them, and then one streak that went from the bottom of her lip to the bottom of her chin.

 

As soon as that was done she was directed to her dress, and she realized this was the first time she’d seen it. She’d been measured for it almost over a week ago now, but didn’t really put much thought into what it would look like. She didn’t expect black, but that’s definitely what it was. It was beautiful though. It was trimmed with a light blue colour that matched her eyes. She undressed and stepped into it, pulling it up. It came to the floor, slightly trailing behind her, and as 2 attendants laced up the back of it she was a little shocked to see the front plunge as far as it did. It came down to the top of her stomach, but it was tight enough that she knew she wouldn’t have any problems with keeping everything in place. The dress came over her shoulders but had no sleeves on it, and it exposed most of her upper back. There was a slit that came up to her thigh on the left side.

It’s not something she would have chosen to wear, risqué as it was, but she didn’t actually mind it.

“Holy shit.” Raven said, taking her entirety in.

“Didn’t think it’d be this low.” Clarke mumbled.

“No kidding! You look incredible, though.”

The attendants finished tying up the back of the dress and they brought over a black and red substance that looked like paint.

A woman began to draw on Clarke’s open chest with the black; a circle, with 3 crescent moons crossing through the middle of it. In between each crescent moon she placed a red dot.

“What is it?” Clarke asked the woman as she finished and wiped her hands clean.

“It is the symbol of the Trikru people.” She revealed. Someone handed Clarke a pair of simple black flats that fit her almost perfectly.

 

Clarke was finally able to walk over to the full-length mirror and take a look at herself.

The first thing she noticed was her body itself, she barely even recognized it. Since being locked up on the Ark and then being sent to the ground, and everything that had happened after that, she hadn’t realized she looked more like a woman now. The top of her hair was pulled back in a very intricate braid, but other than that it was her natural curls that fell just above her shoulders. Her face looked almost unrecognizable with the black markings on it, but she couldn’t deny she looked fierce.

Raven came to stand beside her. “Is it weird to say it kinda suits you?”

“It suits Wanheda. Not me.” She looked to her friend who gave her a sympathetic look. “But I suppose that’s who I am today.” She sighed. Raven came in front of her and grabbed a hold of her arms.

“Hey… That’s not who you are. Today you walk out of this room as the leader of the Sky people. Our leader. People may call you by that name but… It’s not all they see in you.” She said ardently.

Clarke soaked that in, letting it comfort her and pull her out of her fog.

“Thank you, Raven.” She whispered to her friend. Raven smiled warmly and went to turn away but Clarke caught her by the arm quickly. “Raven… I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

Raven’s genuine smile morphed into something cocky.

“Of course you couldn’t, I’m awesome!” She joked.

 There was a quick knock on the door and Octavia came in. She always looked incredible, but today she looked more than that. She wore a long black dress that wrapped tightly around her and her jet-black hair was done in intricate braids. Her entire look along with the black paint she had on her face made her look terrifying and haunting, but in an alluring stunning kind of way.

A large smile grew on her face when she took in Clarke, and she would have been lying to say it didn’t surprise her a little.

“Meizen. Beautiful.” _Beautiful._  Octavia translated her compliment as she took in the entire ceremonial look.

“Thanks. It’s actually more comfortable than it looks.” Clarke laughed.

“Well, that’s a good thing. Today will be a little tedious but once the ceremony is done and we move onto the celebration, you can change if you want.” She explained.

Clarke nodded, and hesitated to ask the question that was on her mind. She half opened her mouth and shut it again. It looked like Octavia noticed, but she turned to Raven then.

“Raven, the attendants have brought in ceremonial clothes for you all. Why don’t you go ahead and get changed. Hurry though, you’re probably the only one not dressed yet.” Octavia reasoned.

“Will do.” Raven said, already walking out of the room. She looked pretty excited about it. Clarke half looked at Octavia again wondering if she should just ask her.

“Clarke. What is it?” Octavia asked her bluntly, not missing a thing.

“I uh… I was just wondering if you’ve seen Bellamy yet this morning?” She got out in a small voice.

Octavia chuckled a little before answering.

“Yes, I have.” It wasn’t quite the response Clarke wanted and the look on her face must have said that. “I haven’t seen him quite this excited for something in a very long time.” She added on.

That calmed her nerves a little. Enough that she actually thought she felt excited too. Really, she hadn’t been given a lot of option in this whole thing… but she was glad it was happening. Not just so her people wouldn’t die, not just because it was what was best, but also because something about it just felt right.

“Oh, he also told me to tell you that he’s made it so that the ceremony isn’t entirely in our language. This is about us embracing a new group of people and culture, too.” Octavia added on as she pulled out the train of Clarke’s dress.

“Okay.” She breathed in relief.

“ _Oso tai choda op kom jus. Oso keryon ste teina.”_  Clarke mumbled to herself. She had the lines memorized. They were the only two things she had to say in their language. The rest was English, and she had stayed up all last night memorizing it.

“That was perfect. You sound like a natural.” Octavia assured.

“Really? Okay, good.” Clarke breathed out hard, trying to chase her remaining nerves away. Her hands had been shaking slightly all morning and she couldn’t get them to stop. “When do we head over?” She asked Octavia.

There was a loud knock on the door.

“Min op!” _Enter!_  Octavia yelled back. The door opened and Manuel took a step in. He looked much more put together than usual, his long beard had small braids in it, being closed off with small wooden beads. His medium dark hair was pulled back and tied behind his head. There were two large swords attached to his back, and he was dressed in all black as well. Clarke thought this was probably the standard colour for anything ceremonial.

It looked like he froze slightly at seeing Clarke, and then gave her a warm smile that lasted all of a few seconds before returning to his stoic self again. It warmed Clarke’s heart, but also made her miss her father greatly.

“The King is ready. I’ll wait by the chapel for you.” He informed.

“Thank you, Manuel. We’ll head over.” Octavia announced calmly.

Clarke started taking deep breaths as Manuel left, and most of the attendants exited the room, as well. Octavia laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“The ceremony is mostly just repeating what Bellamy says. You’ll do great. You got this.” Octavia encouraged before heading for the door.

Clarke turned to leave too, but not before one more glance into the mirror; one more last-ditch effort to calm herself. One more glance at herself as a whole… the leader to the last of the sky people.

Now, she would be Clarke kom Trikru. Now, she would be Queen. Now, she would give her people _true_  peace.

 

The entire walk to the Chapel, Octavia reiterated once again how the ceremony would go, step by step. It made Clarke feel more at ease knowing what she had to do.

They made it to the doors, and she could hear people inside. Manuel had been waiting for them, and peaked into the chapel to get the go-ahead. She heard the room inside go silent.

“I have to go in first. Manuel will stay behind you until you’re at the front.” Octavia explained. Clarke nodded and her eyes fell to the floor as she went through the checklist of what she was supposed to remember for the ceremony. Octavia was just about to enter the room before she turned back to her.

“And Clarke…” Clarke’s head shot up, her eyes meeting Octavia’s. “My brother is lucky to have you as his Queen…. We all are.” She smiled and then opened up the door enough for her to slip in.

Clarke’s heart filled with warmth at the honour she felt and she let it run through her. She reached into her memories, it really hadn’t been that long ago that she’d dreamt of her father, but his familiar voice played in her head, making her feel like he was truly there with her. _Be strong._

 

She heard a low drum start to play and a woman’s powerful voice that started to sing slow and haunting words in their language. She took a deep breath through her nose and straightened her posture, setting her shoulders back.

She thought about the Arc, thought about the 100, about everything that had happened to bring them to this point.

She would be strong. Like Bellamy said, it was in her, apart of her. No one could take it away.

Manuel’s low voice drew Clarke only slightly out of her focus.

“Whenever you’re ready, my Queen. I’ll be right behind you.”

Clarke looked to him and gave one sure nod. Only just over a week ago she never would have had this much admiration for someone like Manuel, now… it was hard to feel anything but.

He banged his fist against the door twice, and then came to stand a few feet behind her.

The doors opened, and immediately every eye in the room turned to land on her. They were all dressed in black, all of them sombre and warrior like. She walked forward.

A chill of bumps swept over every inch of her body, making every hair stand. She felt the severity of what this meant hit her all at once. Not what it meant to her… but rather to her soon to be people. In their eyes, this was a kind of sacrifice. This alliance wasn’t just a word to them… this was their _way_. It meant a great deal to every single one of them.

The drums and the woman’s voice continued to reverberate through the large room, and Clarke scanned the front until her eyes found him, strewed in light from the morning that was coming in through the windows. Her breath caught in her chest at the sight of him.

He looked like more than a King… he looked like a God of war. His entire outfit was a thick black material, and he had a sword strapped to his side. There was a dark blue cape that hung off one of his shoulders. He wore a small dark metal crown that rested on his forehead and dipped down between his eyebrows. The black paint around his eyes made them look even darker than usual.

His black curls fell naturally around his deep eyes and she saw his sculpted jaw clench as he beheld her in his focused gaze. He had one black line from the bottom of his lip to the bottom of his chin that matched hers.

She walked slowly as the singing went on, coming to the end of the isle where she saw her people on her left and right, standing right up front. Her people. It was an honour to do this for them. She continued up to the front, up the two steps to the platform, and turned to stand in front of Bellamy just as the singing stopped. One more final hit of the drum made the entire room fall to silence for an intense moment.

She had always felt like he could see right through to her soul, as hard as she’d tried to prevent that the first few days, but she felt she could never do the same. Right now though… it was a little different. In the silence they stared into each other’s eyes without a single trace of doubt or hesitance… only duty and respect; understanding of each other.

There was a man who stood to the side of them who guided the ceremony. He was one of the elders of the council, and was dressed in long embroidered brown robes.

“We gather today, for the bond of two bloodlines, into one.” He began, his low and aged voice sure and steady.

“Bellamy, Haihefa, kom Trikru, and Clarke, Wanheda, kom Skaikru.”

The elder turned and grabbed a bowl from the table behind him that was filled with water.

“Kom woda yu gyon op, gon woda yu na kom daun. _From water you were born, to water you will return.”_ That was the queue. They turned and Clarke dipped her right hand into the bowl alongside Bellamy’s left. He reached his fingers out to touch hers underneath the water for a moment. She looked up to him, and for only a second his mouth drew up ever so slightly at the corner of his mouth.

“Until the end of your souls.” The elder prompted them.

“Until the end of my soul.” They both repeated in unison, taking their hands out of the water.

The elder turned to put the bowl behind him, and grabbed another bowl. This one was filled with black ash.

“Hofli Keryon kom Heda na shoun yu op shil yu klin. Hofli yu na mafta op sampada kom Beka Pramheda na lok op bilaik fousen geda ona graun. _May the Spirit of the Commanders guide and protect you. May you follow in the footsteps of Becca Pramheda to find your rightful place on this earth.”_

They dipped the same hands that had been in the water into the ash, making their palms black.

“Kom graun, oso na groun op. Kom falau, oso na gyon op. _From the earth, we will grow. From the ashes, we will rise_.”

“From the ashes, we will rise.” They repeated together, taking their hands out of the bowl and facing each other. They pressed their ashen palms together like they were supposed to and once again were able to look at each other. She felt as though her heart was being pulled towards his, like it needed to be closer to him, and she wondered if he felt the same way.

“Until the end of your souls.”

“Until the end of my soul.” Their voices confessed together.

Clarke felt emotion build up inside her, but she tried to breath through it and not let it show. Bellamy’s face was strong and focused but it seemed his eyes had a million different emotions going through them. Then she realized the way he was dressed, his sword, the paint on his face, he looked just like that picture in the weapons room.

“Do you vow fealty to each other, through life, and through war?” The elder asked. Bellamy answered first, their hands separating as he dropped to one knee.

“Yes. I vow fealty to you, Clarke; until the end of my soul.” Then he stood.

Clarke did the same, bending down to one knee.

“Yes. I vow fealty to you, Bellamy; until the end of my soul.” She didn’t need to make her voice sound sincere… she felt it.

“Do you vow to trust in each other, through life, and through war?”

Clarke stared deeply at him, a reaction of pain on his face that she hadn’t expected showed up there for only a moment.

“Yes. I vow trust in you, Clarke; until the end of my soul.” His voice was hard and even.

“Yes. I vow trust in you, Bellamy; until the end of my soul.” She said surely, as she watched that pain show again. Before she could think too much about it, the elder continued.

“Do you vow to protect each other, through life, and through war?” His face went completely back to normal now, and seeing it made her relieved.

“Yes. I vow to protect you, Clarke; until the end of my soul.”

“Yes. I vow to protect you, Bellamy; until the end of my soul.”

He reached out his hand, the one with the ash, and took hers in it.

“Do you vow to respect each other, through life, and through war?”

“Yes. I vow to respect you, Clarke; until the end of my soul.” His voice seemed more reserved for only her now… everyone could still hear, but it was as if they were only two people in there.

“Yes. I vow to respect you, Bellamy; until the end of my soul.”

There was silence then, for only a moment. It didn’t seem like silence though. Not to Clarke or Bellamy. Their eyes were lost in each other’s and Clarke never wanted to find her way again.

“You will bind yourselves in blood.”

The elder turned to the table and grabbed a small dagger. Clarke’s eyes widened a small bit, and Bellamy noticed. He took it first, relieving her of being the first one to do it. He clenched his clean hand around the blade and swiped it through his palm as if it was nothing, no reaction at all, while he kept eye contact with her.

“Oso tie choda op kom jus.” _We bind ourselves in blood._  He declared in a low raspy voice.

It was given back to the elder who wiped the black blood on a white cloth, and then it was Clarke’s turn. She took the dagger and clenched her fist around it, swiping it through her palm. She winced only slightly but tried to keep her reaction minimal, not to show pain: only strength right now.

“Oso tie choda op kom jus.” _We bind ourselves in blood._  She confirmed.

They clasped hands, entwining their fingers as their blood spread between. The hands with the ash did the same, and their connection seemed like it was impartible. Maybe this blood bond did have some kind of power after all… she wasn’t sure, but she felt something extra.

_How did he become so special to me? How did this even happen?_

Bellamy’s lips parted and the words that fell off them in proud proclamation sounded more intoxicating than ever.

“Oso keryon ste teina.” _Our souls are entwined._

“Oso keryon ste teina.” Clarke repeated back contently.

“The blood bond has been solidified. Eintheing na bos yu op.” _Nothing can break you._

Clarke wanted to fall into him, to melt… but she couldn’t yet. This was only half over.

Their hands were separated, cleaned and wrapped in black cloth before the second half ensued.

It was Bellamy who took over for the elder to do this part. Clarke came to kneel down, facing the room full of people. Bellamy came around her and unsheathed his sword, placing it horizontally in her open hands.

“Clarke kom Trikru, do you vow your loyalty, honour and sacrifice to Trikru and its people, until the end of your days?” Bellamy’s low voice echoed.

“I do vow.” She answered proudly. She looked to her people, most of which were smiling at her. She looked to Raven and Miller who stood proudly at the front.

“Do you vow to lead your people with all that you are, in truth and in love, and to always put them first, using mercy, justice and law in all of your judgements?”

“I do vow.”

Bellamy then waved a hand out to someone who stood on the side holding something. The young man brought it over and Bellamy took it.

She saw it was a crown, almost exactly like Bellamy’s, but even thinner.

She looked to him with a sure heart. She meant every word of what she said.

He placed it on her head gently, took his sword back to sheath it, and then held out his hand to help her stand, placing himself beside her.

“Gyon op, Haiplana!” _Long live the Queen!_  Bellamy roared, lifting Clarke’s hand up into the air.

“Gyon op, Haiplana!” Everyone shouted back in unison.

“Your people are now ours.” Bellamy announced. Him and Clarke went to the front of the room to get the bowl of ash, and then took it down to the 47 Skaikru.

They went two people at a time, Clarke and Bellamy asking each of the 47, “Do you vow to live according to the law’s of Trikru, and do you vow loyalty to your King and Queen?”

They each replied with an “I do vow.” As they had been instructed to do beforehand, and then received one mark of ash down the centre of their forehead.

To Clarke’s amusement Bellamy ended up doing Finn’s, and he looked less than enthused, but followed along willingly.

Once they went through each of the 47, Bellamy walked to the front of the room.

“Gon gedanes!” _To unity!_  He boomed, and everyone else repeated as usual.

 

And then… finally… it was done.

The crowd burst into cheering and happy commotion, most of the grounders coming to congratulate the 47 and Clarke saw Roan and Raven having a private moment off to the side of the chapel, wrapped tightly in each others embrace.

There were many congratulations to Bellamy and Clarke as well, and it seemed to be never ending. Clarke eventually found her way over to her friends and was able to give a few hugs and talk before being taken aside by everyone else who wanted to talk to their new Queen. Clarke didn’t mind at all… but she was still a little relieved when finally there was a slight break. She noticed then that she wasn’t sure where Bellamy was.  
She walked around, moving to the back corner of the room, eyes searching for him when she felt someone’s arms wrap around her waist and pull her backwards into the slightly darker part of the chapel.

“Ai Haiplana. Alone at last.” _My Queen._  Bellamy’s familiar voice filled the air all around her. She leaned back into him and his large arms tightened around her making her entire body feel warm.

“I was looking for you.” She said lowly, trying not to be heard. They weren’t even completely out of sight. Someone could still easily see them if they were standing in the right place.

He dipped his head lower to her ear.

“Come with me.” He whispered as he grabbed her hand and pulled her down the pitch-black hallway all in one quick movement. Clarke immediately felt excitement and happiness bubble up that resulted in a playful giggle that erupted out of her, echoing off the walls as they ran.

He pulled on the heavy wooden door and when there was just enough space for them to sneak in he pulled her through and closed it behind them.

Their hands were still entwined and the sun was beaming in through the stained glass windows, making a sea of colours sweep across the room.

Bellamy looked deeply at her, his huge smile all she could keep her eyes on, and then he lifted her hand up and around her so that she would spin, and she complied with a giddy laugh. His smile was wide when she stopped spinning and his gaze was almost too much for her.

“Haven’t done that in a long time.” She said a little breathless from the excitement that was still pumping through her.

“What, danced?” Bellamy chuckled, raising his brow at her. He looked incredible, but she couldn’t quite take him seriously now that they were alone and being playful. The paint on his face seemed utterly out of place, and she was sure it was no different for her.

“Yeah, not since my dad.” She smiled warmly, recalling the memories, and feeling like he had truly been with her today.

“Oh… I’m-“

“No, no don’t be. It’s okay. I felt closer to him today than I have in a long time.” She sighed, leaning against the dark brick and then stepping into her confidence. She gave him a sly look, pulling on his hand slightly. The look on his face changed instantly, and then he was right in front of her, hands on her waist. It felt like the skin beneath her clothing was burning wherever he touched her.

“You look magnificent, Clarke.” He murmured to her, his face suddenly even closer.

“So do you.” She looked up into his deep brown eyes. “It was hard to keep my eyes off of you.” She admitted.

He did a quick glance down at her very open fronted dress and his devilish smirk painted his face.

“I know the feeling.”

Clarke’s face went hot and she instantly dropped her gaze and bit her lip. His hand that was bandaged around the palm came up to catch her chin and pull it back up. His eyes were completely focused on her mouth. The intensity was so much she let go of her lip from between her teeth. He whispered lowly when he spoke next.

“You’re so beautiful; all of you. And you did incredible today.” His face was only an inch away from hers. She opened her mouth to say something, take control of the situation, but couldn’t quite think of anything at all other than him; his smell, how close he was, his lips being right there.

She sucked in a sharp breath as he took one step closer, pressing his body against hers lightly. His lips brushed hers for an impossibly long moment, and she lost all hope of control.

She closed the small distance between their lips. She had planned to be the one kissing _him_ , but it felt more like _he_  was kissing _her_. Hard and passionately, it felt like relief; his touch, his kiss.

His left arm drew her in impossibly closer and his right hand cupped the side of her neck, his thumb set on her jaw in a way that made her feel crazy. She wrapped her arms up around him, pulling his neck down and tangling her hands into his dark curls like she’d thought about doing over and over, while his tongue swept over her lower lip. The action made her feel like her head was spinning.

She felt like she was burning, every inch of her. It was a feeling like she’d never felt with anyone else. All she wanted was more of him.

All too quickly he pulled his lips just out of reach from her; both of them breathing a little frantically. She looked at him questioningly, unable to actually say anything.

The sides of his mouth curled up on the ends and he took a small step back while still holding on to her.

“We should go, the celebration has already started.” He tried to reason.

She let out a frustrated sigh and it took all her will power to let her hands slip from his hair.

“I have wanted to do that since the day I met you, princess.” He confessed lowly,

“Now that I’m queen can I make you stop calling me princess?” She teased.

“You could try… but I wouldn’t count on it making a difference.”

Her smile grew on her face until she let out a laugh. His hand came up to straighten out her crown that had gone a little lop sided in the heat of things.

Clarke searched him for anything out of place but of course, there was nothing. Somehow he always managed to look completely put together.

“Let’s go, ai keryon.” _My soul._  He said, finally letting all but her hand go and tugging her towards the door.

Clarke’s heart turned in the most pleasant way at hearing what he called her, and it made her face go red. She reluctantly left their secret place and then they were walking through the dark hallway into the now empty chapel and towards the dining hall.

They held hands as they walked and Clarke glanced over at him at one point to notice a slight furrow in his brow. He looked like he was deep in thought about something, but since they were almost to the dining hall she thought it was best not to ask right at the moment.

Instead she decided distracting him would be best.

“I uhm, I kind of have a dumb question.” She sputtered out.  
He just looked at her through his dark curls with a smirk, raising his brow in question.

“Am I… sleeping with… er… staying in your room, or…?”

Her agonizing sentence was cut off by his loud laughter.

“Yes. You’ll stay in my room from now on. As for sleeping with… me…” He said with a mocking laugh. “That’s completely up to you. I know we talked about it before, but… it’s still in your hands. Whenever you’re ready, I am.” He finished a little more serious.

“Okay.” She breathed. There were people standing outside the dining hall that roared in celebration as they approached it, and from that point on, things got a little overwhelming.

It started off with Clarke meeting about a million people, and really trying hard to remember names, which she knew she wouldn’t. There were many, many more people here than there had been at the ceremony and it was unbelievably crowded.

Manuel gave a small bow to her once they’d finally gotten to their table, which she thought seemed odd, but she’d probably have to get used to people doing that now.

Some called her ‘my Queen’, some called her ‘Wanheda’, but it gave her comfort and relief to know that her friends still called her Clarke; all but Finn, who she had actually been trying to avoid. He had made his way through the crowd to their table just as their wine was being poured, so Clarke had no option but to deal with it.

“Just wanted to offer my congratulations, my Queen… I hope you’ll be taken care of.” His eyes never left Clarke the whole time.

His passive aggressive comment had made her want to leap across the table and sock him right in the face, but before she could even react Bellamy did, his voice demanding Finn’s eyes to meet his own.

“Finn, thank you,” He started, putting his hand onto Clarke’s bare thigh where the slit was on the side of her dress. “Your Queen will receive only the best of care, I can promise you that.” He smirked at him. It wasn’t the same kind of smirk he gave her though; it was more challenging… evil in a way.

It took everything in Clarke not to laugh, but she managed to keep a straight face and give Finn an unbothered smile before he looked disgusted and walked back to his table.

“I honestly can’t believe you.” She mumbled to him, still trying the best she could not to laugh. He took a large sip of his wine and then leaned into her neck with a large smile, murmuring into it.

“He’s trying to compete for something that is no longer in his grasp. In fact, if you ask me…” He slid his hand a little further up her leg causing her entire body to react in a way she hadn’t been prepared for. “You were always out of grasp for him. You’re too good, Clarke. No one deserves you.” He kissed her neck slowly, sending a bolt of energy through her that made her already crossed legs tighten a little more.

“Well… you’re good at flattery Bellamy Blake…” This was the first time she’d used his full name and it made him look at her a little surprised. Maybe it was the strange energy she felt or the feeling like she should be saving some face and taking back some control, but she removed his hand from her thigh with a sly grin and straightened herself in her chair proudly. “But don’t get too full of yourself, your stitches might burst open and I’ll have to save your life again.” She knew her attempt at humour was bad, ok, beyond bad. But it seemed to do the trick as he just gave her a look of amusement and positioned himself upright at the table.

 

After they finished eating most of the tables were pushed to the side with various snacks placed on them for the rest of the night. Instruments were brought in to the throne room and rang throughout the castle as people started to dance, and more people from the village showed up. Clarke thought the amount of alcohol that was brought in could have been used to sanitize the entire castle, but she had to admit, most of it tasted better than the stuff Monty had made. After she couldn’t find Bellamy, Clarke had been hanging out with Raven and Harper for a while. But then they left to move their things into Clarke’s old room after Raven had asked if they could.

Before she knew it, it was night out and she was starting to feel like she needed some air.

She excused herself from a conversation in which a very drunk Jasper and an even drunker Murphy talked about which one could drink more, just as someone named Raff told them he could outdrink the two combined. To be honest, it looked like he already had.

She snuck her way outside and was just starting to unwind herself when she saw a group of people coming up towards the castle. She wasn’t prepared to do any more talking at the moment so she took a sharp left and veered off to the side behind some bushes that she found led to an adorable small open space with a bench. She was just glad to finally be alone. She opened up her arms and let herself breath in the night. It was warm out, but not as warm as it was inside the castle with all those people.

 _Her people._  She thought proudly. They were _all_  her people now, not just the 47.

Her arms fell to her sides and she looked down at herself feeling a little ridiculous. The dress, the crown, everything… It was a big change from her normal.

All she wanted to do was strip down and get into a hot bath.

She sat down on the bench and took off her crown, setting it gently beside her, and worked out the braids from the top of her head. It felt so good to finally run her fingers through her hair and scratch her head. She let her hands run through it a couple more times and then leaned back letting the blonde curls fall as she looked up to the stars. Her time on the Ark almost felt like a distant memory now. Even up there, it seemed the focus had always been getting back down to the ground.

She arched her back, using the bench to crack her back and then just falling into it.

“That looks pretty good.” A deep voice came from the side of the castle, startling her.

Clarke sat up and squinted to make out a dark figure sauntering towards her, and his chuckle gave him away.

“Have you been watching me this whole time?” She shot at him mockingly.

“Maybe… Did you think I was going to let you wander off by yourself?” Bellamy provoked, coming to sit beside her, and taking her crown in his hands.

“If I do remember correctly, I _was_ able to take down the King…” She taunted, remembering the few days they spent sparring in the weapons room.

He snorted at that, leaning back in the bench and stretching his legs out in front of him. Clarke let her eyes graze over him unashamedly. He was hers now.

“Now it’s you who shouldn’t be so full of themselves. I wasn’t even fighting back!” He joked. He turned his head to look at her, raising an eyebrow with the sides of his mouth curled up. She laughed in response, shoving at his arm a little.

“How are you holding up?” He asked genuinely now.

“Good! I just needed some air. And a break from the drinking competition that was about to ensue.”

“Understandable.” He nodded with a laugh.

“How about you? Your stomach?” She prodded, gesturing to his torso.

“It’s healing well. Nyko said I could take the stitches out soon.”

“ _You_ could?” She repeated in shock.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well you know… you’re literally married to a healer now, so, you don’t have to do it yourself.” She reasoned.

He shrugged.

“I want to. No reason to waste other people’s time when I can do it myself.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him, and then let out a sigh of defeat that turned into a yawn.

“Tired, Princess?” He grinned at her.

She shot a look at him, and was slightly distracted. His jaw outlined perfectly by the moonlight and giving his black hair a blue hue. _Why did he have to look so perfect all the time?_

“Maybe…” She quoted him from before. He gave out a short chuckle and handed her crown back to her. She put it back on and noticed Bellamy’s eyes look her up and down from her peripherals, his position shifting so he could look at her better. She tried to mask her delight.

“Me too.” He confessed, not taking his eyes off her.

“It’s been a long day.” She sighed again.

All of a sudden he jumped up, coming to stand in front of her and offering his hands to help her stand. She accepted and did so, looking at him sceptically the whole time.

“It’s been a beautiful day.” He argued. Slowly his body moved in closer to hers, and even slower his hands moved up to the sides of her face, pulling it close to his. Electricity shot through her entire body.

She leaned in to kiss him but he pulled just out of reach at the last second and smirked at her.  
“Always need to be in control, don’t you Princess.” He laughed lowly.

It was a giddy kind of frustration that boiled through her, but it couldn’t stop her smile.

“Maybe…” She whispered to him, moving in closer again and closing her eyes, breathing him in.

He moved one of his hands to her chin and pulled it up gently, demanding her gaze.

“Maybe you should just relax…” He grazed her jaw line, leading to her neck and then down her back, pulling her into him. “And let someone take care of _you_  for once.”

The whole thing made her head spin, and she felt like she was holding her breath. They stood in thick air for one moment more.

“Come, ai keryon.” _My soul._

She didn’t have time to feel nervous before he pulled her out of the garden and back into the castle, keeping her very close. Everyone was pretty drunk and to her gratification not many people even noticed them sneaking through the throne room.

It was a silent walk to their room as the noise of the party became quieter with distance.

Once in the stone hallway to his room they crossed paths with an attendant who Bellamy thanked in his language. He stopped outside the door, opened it, and then gave Clarke a long look that made her gut twist a little.

“What?” She insisted. A smirk appeared on his face and in one swoop he had her up in his arms, causing her to squeal a little.

“What are you doing?!” She laughed nervously.

“Tradition, isn’t it?” His dark eyes burned into hers with intensity that made her feel a little crazed. He walked through the doorway and set her down on the other side, stroking her hair back from her face. The grin on his face made the moment aggravatingly teasing.

Then he disappeared into the back of the room where the bathroom was, and Clarke wasn’t too sure what to do with her self as she just stood there. She hadn’t really felt weird in here before, but now that it was her space too… something seemed different about it.

“Coming?” He called from around the corner.

Clarke was hesitant, but she slipped off her shoes and walked over to the bathroom. She was a little shocked to see him shirtless, and tried to play it off as cool as possible. She didn’t think it worked because his smirk looked like it was burned into his face, like it’d never come off. She did notice his wounds looked even better than they had yesterday.

There was a small fire going that radiated warmth through the room, and white candles everywhere that set an undeniable mood. She looked at him questioningly.

“When I saw you go outside I figured you’d be getting tired, so…” He trailed off, gesturing to the hot bath. His voice wasn’t unsure; in fact it was the opposite. It was so sure and alluring it gave Clarke an audacity she didn’t think she had felt before. It was about twice the size hers had been, could easily hold two people, and looked too good to pass up.

She nodded and bit her lip, walking over to the full-length mirror and taking her crown off, setting it on a small table. She took the bandage off her hand as well and then reached behind her to undo her dress when she saw him in the reflection, examining her with about a million different looks in his dark eyes. Once their eyes had locked, it seemed like they both settled on the same one.

She took a hold of her newly flourished confidence and after a slow breath she decided to continue, never taking her eyes off of his in the reflection. She pulled at the strings of her dress slowly until they came loose enough for her to move the dress off her shoulders and have it fall off of her completely.

She stepped out of it with ease, kicking it to the side. Other than her black underwear she was completely exposed. They didn’t break eye contact through the mirror as he walked up slowly behind her, his skin looking as beautiful as ever, even with his wounds, and came to wrap his arms around her torso.

“Krei meizen, ai Haiplana.” _So beautiful, my Queen._  He whispered into her neck. It sent chills through her entire body and she rolled her head back into his bare shoulder. She tried to arch her back to keep it away from his stitches, and it resulted in her butt being pressed up against the front of his pants. Based on how he subtly pushed himself against her, it was a safe guess he didn’t mind.

He moved her hair out of the way and laid one long, precise kiss at her jaw. He let a breath out that sounded like a low growl, making a heat spread all over her body.

“Get in the bath, I’ll be right there.” He murmured, and then was gone from behind her. She took one large breath in a sorry attempt to compose herself and removed her underwear, stepping into the bath.

It felt incredible. She quickly dunked her head into the water to clean her face off. She used some of the soap that was at the edge of the tub to clean the rest of the black makeup off, and then leaned back in the tub and closed her eyes, letting her limbs relax completely, but still feeling an intense power running through her.

She heard Bellamy come in, but she didn’t open her eyes, just stayed still in the bath. She heard him step in across from her and get comfortable. She didn’t move or open her eyes until his hands fell onto her crossed legs. Her eyes fluttered open she and looked at him. She couldn’t help the lazy smile that found its way to her lips when she saw him looking at her already. The paint on his face was a little smudged at this point so she reached over to the bar of soap and handed it to him.

He took it with a slight grin and washed his face. He gave his head a slight shake and pushed the now wet dark hair back from his eyes.

“I can see your freckles again.” She smiled at him through hooded eyes, head still tilted back. He just stared at her for a minute as they sat in silence.

“What?” She finally asked, curious.

“Come here.” He suggested, opening his arms and resting them casually on the side of the tub. His biceps were incredible. She furrowed her brow at him dubiously. He rolled his eyes.

“Just come here.” His smirk made a reappearance. His voice was so low it drew her in helplessly.

She sat up slowly and moved over towards him awkwardly, not too sure how she should place herself. She didn’t have to think about it though, because his hands were on her waist pulling her in to straddle him. She only felt slightly nervous at having her chest exposed this close to him, about being this close with nothing on, but something about it also felt comfortable. His left hand was placed firmly on her back while his right found the soap. He began gently scrubbing away at the paint on her chest. It was an extremely intimate act, and she felt like she had earlier when her heart was being pulled towards his.

“One of the attendants this morning said this is the sign of your people.” She mused.

“It is.” He answered shortly.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered, reaching up to tangle her fingers in the wet curls at the back of his neck.

He looked up to her, the tension overpowering now.

She leaned down to kiss him, but was stopped when she saw a large smile on his face.

“What!?” She prodded, feeling insecure.

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you, remember?” He taunted, laying a long burning kiss on her collarbone.

Clarke sighed and threw her head back. Her arms fell defeated into the water. Every one of her nerves felt like they were on a slow burning fire; this was torturous.

“Relax, Princess.” His voice was deep and soothing.

She took a deep breath and he started to cup the water onto her chest using his hand to rinse off the rest of the paint, which fell black into the water between them. His hand grazed over her nipples in the process, and the feeling was mesmerizing.

He looked satisfied at his work and his finger traced her collarbone to her shoulder and down her arm to her hand. Their fingers wound together under the water as they leaned against each other.

Clarke listened to the fire crackle and little droplets fall off them into the water.

It was Bellamy’s quiet voice that finally broke the silence; low and powerful.

“What do you want, Clarke?”

His words made her come alive. She took as steady of a breath as she could before answering him, closing her eyes tightly as a heat grew between her legs.

“You.” She whispered back.

His lips crushed onto hers with a burning desire.

 

Next thing she knew they were out of the tub and at their bed. He laid her down on the edge, keeping a firm hold on both of her legs. She was able to look at all of him, his entire body exposed to her. She gave him one look, wrapping her legs around his hips to pull him closer and it was all that was required to let him know she needed more. He leaned down over her and she felt him pressed up against her. She felt like she couldn’t breath as the heat continued to grow.

He kissed her leisurely, letting his mouth wander down her neck onto her chest, then down her stomach.

He fell to his knees, head at her thighs, kissing both of them in turn, slowly and agonizingly.

“Bellamy,” She panted impatiently.

He looked up to her through his black curls with a smirk she both loved and loathed.

She thought she’d have to continue the protest, but then his hand was on her, gentle and light, shortly followed by his mouth. It didn’t take long before she was falling over the edge, grasping at his hair as her body went rigid and then relaxed with release.

She pulled him up to her and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer to her.

“You sure?” His voice was guttural and powerful, only further establishing just how sure she definitely was.

She nodded frantically in response, not sure she could actually form words yet.

Slowly, almost too slowly, he pushed into her, simultaneously inflicting a moan from both of them. He established a pace that felt perfect to Clarke, not too urgent, not too slow. He moved both of her legs over one of his shoulders, enabling her to feel even more of him. There was a lot to feel.

“Oh my god.” She breathed, tossing her head back into the blankets. All she wanted was to be closer to him, as close as possible, but with his stitches still in, this would have to do.

His hand came down to press gentle circles into her clit causing her to grab hold of the blankets on either side of her as she got closer and closer to her apex.

She allowed every care in the world to be completely and utterly forgotten.

This wasn’t her first time, or her second… however the intimacy and precision of it all made it feel like it was the first. But it didn’t matter because the blood bond made them belong to each other, their souls were entwined, and he would be her _only_  for the rest of her life.

A month ago she would have laughed at the premise, but now, as the day had occurred and she was falling into an oblivion of euphoria with quite possibly the most handsome man on earth, she believed in this life with every fibre of her being. Until the end of her soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DID YOU THINK?! Let me know. Please.  
> Follow me on Twitter and let me know you read my story! If ya want. @AtiaJoyR  
> Thank's for reading and sticking with me! <3


	13. I want to stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Once again I've taken so long to write this, I'm sorry, my life has been crazy.  
> Starting this one off with A LITTLE HEAT. ;) Enjoy.

Chapter 13 – I want to stay

 

 

  

**BELLAMY P.O.V**

 

He had slept well; incredibly well. Okay, there hadn’t been a lot of sleeping involved… But it had been the best night of his life, hands down. He’d woken up out of his half sleep every time Clarke twitched or moved, and she was all that his mind seemed to be focused on. The one time he fell into a sleep that was deep enough to dream, it was of her.

It was very early. The sun was just starting to come up, and normally he’d be up as soon as it was, but today his sun was right here in front of him, and he couldn’t bring himself to be torn away from her warmth.

He was cuddled up behind her and she was fast asleep on his arm, their fingers loosely entwined. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. The way her hair fell, the soft pout of her lips. He couldn’t wait for her to be awake and see her crystal blue eyes look at him the way they always did.

He felt a pang of guilt turn in his stomach that he pushed away immediately. He’d been getting good at that since she’d arrived. He was going to deal with it, but right now… right now he was focused on having her here. Everything was perfect right now, and he knew that there was one detail that would likely pull that peace apart. He had nothing but hope that she’d understand… that she’d forgive him.

She took a sharp breath in while she continued in her deep slumber and it pulled him out of his thoughts.

_She’s so damn beautiful._  He thought, pulling back a piece of her hair and freezing when her face flinched. He waited until her breathing returned to normal before he allowed himself to relax. She was probably exhausted from yesterday and he didn’t want to wake her, so he laid his head down and tightened his grip on her.

It wasn’t long after that the sun made it high enough that it beamed onto her face through the windows, and he tried to shift himself as gently as possible to block it for her. It only worked for a second before her breathing changed and the smallest of smiles graced her lips.

“Hmm.” She hummed in contentment and twisted around into his chest, keeping a mindful space between her torso and his. Those glorious blue eyes fluttered open and rose to meet his, causing a burst of emotions to run through him. He tried to mask his smile a little, but it was getting harder and harder to do with her every day.

“Hey.” She beamed up at him happily. Her voice was a little rough from sleep, but intoxicating nonetheless.

“Hey.” His voice was no better; low and gruff as usual.

He tightened his arms around her, bringing all of her flesh to his. His wounds were a little sore, but it was easy to ignore when she was close to him.

She squirmed a little and let out a small giggle that elated him.

“What?” He released his grasp a little and looked down at her with a crooked smile he just couldn’t help.

“You’re stitches. They’re tickling me.” She laughed sleepily. “And I don’t want to mess them up.”

He let out a small guttural laugh.

“Why don’t you take them out for me then?” He suggested.

He looked back down at her to see her squinting her eyes at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Now you want my help?” Her laugh turned into an exaggerated sigh as she pushed against his chest to get a better look at them. “No.”

“No?” He repeated surprised.

“I’ll take them out for you, but they still need a few days.”

He let out a groan of frustration. They had really been bothering him. They felt weird on his shirt and were just plain irritating.

She pointed a stern finger to him. “Doctor’s orders.” She said firmly.

She pulled back from him to lie down on her back, her breasts falling naturally when she moved, and it made him forget about the stitches immediately. She caught the smirk that was plastered on his face and an identical look overtook her features. _That look._  It did something to him. Before he could even think about it he was hovering her body, and she had her hands tied tightly into the hair at the back of his neck. Their lips collided in a hungry and passionate kiss, their lips movement saying all the urgent words that fluttered inside their heads.

It scared him a little, the closeness he felt to her. He had never felt this way with anyone else. He wasn’t a fool, and he let nobody close enough.

He believed whole-heartedly in the blood bond and the ties that it created, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel it beforehand. She was making him crazy.

Her hands explored him; his face, his back, his shoulders, his biceps, all the while grabbing onto him with an urgency, as if he was going to leave. Like they only had so much time together...

Her legs slipped up from in between his and then separated, wrapping around him and pulling him in closer. He was throbbing already, moving in slightly closer to feel her wet warmth on him. His heart was going crazy, his mind functioning with thoughts of her and the night before. He stopped kissing her to tease her entrance, gliding his length along her in slow strokes. He watched her focused face, eyes scrunched closed and mouth open, as her body squirmed eloquently under him at his touch.

“Bellamy, please.” She breathed. _Fuck._  He loved the sound of his name on her lips.

“Say it again.” He requested, voice deep as ever.

Her eyes opened halfway, staring through him with lust and need.

“Please.” She begged.

Although he liked the sound of that, too… it hadn’t been what he meant.

He leaned down to her ear, slowing his movements even more.

“Not that part…” He murmured, placing a gentle bite to her earlobe that made her gasp and dig her nails into his back. “My name.”

He pulled away just enough to look deeply into her eyes, which looked half-crazed, and stopped his soft movement with the tip of his cock nudged between her folds.

Then he pushed into her warmth, inciting a growl from himself and a high cry of pleasure from her. It turned into a sigh of relief, which then turned into a single word on her tongue.

“Bellamy…”

At that, he pushed harder into her again, making her thighs squeeze him tighter.

He kept going, her body writhing under him and tense in all the right places, it gave him a deep satisfaction to know he could create this reaction in her.

He grabbed both of her legs, swinging them over and in turn rolling her onto her side. He repositioned himself slightly and firmly placed one hand on her thigh and one on her hip, then slowly pushed into her again. She took a sharp and sudden breath half way and it stopped him immediately. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, but before he could even ask her if she was okay she was already grabbing at his thigh, pulling at him.

“No, don’t stop.” She urged, pulling at him more. He still looked at her cautiously though, not sure if he should, until her eyes met his and she twirled her hips wantonly creating a movement on him that made him feel weak.

It was better the second time he tried, and the aura of complete bliss that he felt at having his entirety inside her was obvious.

Clarke caught his expression and the bewitching half smile that overtook her mouth didn’t leave for quite a while, until she was falling apart with her release.

Her walls tightened repeatedly around him. He watched her body, listened to his name tumble off her lips again and again, felt her grasp on his arm tighten to the point of pain that felt so damn good.

He shut his eyes tightly and leaned his head back, revelling in the moment.

It only took her saying his name once more. It was too much. He let out a low groan as he came, Clarke’s fingers loosening their hold around his arm as she moaned with pleasure at the feeling.

It was a couple minutes that he stayed inside of her, letting their breathing return to normal, kissing each other lazily, regaining their sanity, before he finally pulled himself out of her and walked to the bathroom to grab a towel for the both of them. She thanked him with another kiss as she took the towel, and then they settled onto the bed, completely spent.

They held each other close for the better part of an hour, mostly in delighted silence, except for once.

“I want to stay.” Clarke had said, curving herself closer into him and tugging at the blankets more. He’d let her words soak into his skin, and then agreed with a short hum of content.

There was a torturous reminder that wouldn’t quit nagging the forefront of his mind, and he tried to push it back. Clarke had been looking at him with questioning eyes when he’d gotten too lost in thought, and he reasoned with himself that she’d have answers soon enough, but now was not the time. He forced it to the back of his head.

Their lazy lips explored each other’s, every so often trailing down their necks or giving teasing bites to an earlobe or a collarbone. They were dozing in and out of sleep before the noise of their hungry stomachs finally got the best of them. They tore themselves out of bed to wash up and get ready for the day.

 

Once they arrived at breakfast, they realized there were not a lot of people there. Most of them were hung-over, or would be sleeping for most of the day.

They sat down at their table and Bellamy tried his hardest to ignore the grossed out and knowing look Octavia gave him. It ended up with a fixed smirk on his face that Clarke noticed and elbowed him for. Her face was flushing pink and it only made it worse.

He was proud as hell to have such an incredible Queen by his side, and he was proud as hell to have their recent private memories bouncing around in his mind.

As if to make matters worse for Clarke, his sister just had to comment.

“Took you two long enough.” She mumbled.

Clarke’s face turned from a burning pink to a burning red.

“Sorry.” She mumbled back.

All he could do was let out a small chuckle, which got him a sharp glare from Clarke and an eye roll from Octavia.

He noticed Raven and Roan coming up to the table. The girl stopped at the front while Roan came to sit beside him.

“Morning your majesties.” Raven greeted suggestively, pursing her lips and looking between the two.

Bellamy smiled widely at her and Clarke’s head dipped to land on the table as she let out an exasperated groan and covered her face in embarrassment.

Raven chuckled and then changed the subject.

“So, I looked around the castle, and there are actually sources for power almost everywhere. Whoever built it was smart, made it so it could be liveable even without power.” She pointed out.

 Clarke’s head had come back up, and she was focused in on what her friend was saying. Everyone was a little surprised to hear Roan pipe up.

“She’s brilliant. Seems to know lot’s about it, and from the sounds of thing’s it would be good for your people.” He said to both Bellamy and Clarke.

“What do we need to do?” Clarke asked urgently, beating Bellamy to the question.

“Well, if there’s a tech room, that’d be the best place to start.” Raven observed, gesturing to Bellamy. He nodded.

“We’ll go down after breakfast, see what we can find. No one’s been in there for years so I don’t know what you’ll find, but… it’s worth a try.” He finished.

 

Exactly as he’d said they went down to check it out after breakfast, except Octavia, who had said something about her and Lincoln taking their horses out to the hills and food and... Bellamy knew what that meant. He eagerly sent her off, wishing to stop hearing about it.

He didn’t dislike Lincoln; he actually liked him quite a bit. He’d been a part of the first group, including Manuel and some others, to come to the new island in search of a more peaceful lifestyle and Bellamy had a great amount of respect for him. But Octavia was his little sister, and he didn’t need to know the details.

Roan tagged along, mostly attached to Raven’s side.

The line between Clarke’s eyebrows had made a reappearance, a sure sign she was focused on the task at hand. He wanted nothing more than to whisk her away and make it disappear, but he forced the thought to the back of his head for later, and made himself focus on the current task. He was good at that and always had been; pushing whatever he felt to the side so that he could do what was best for Octavia, and then for his people. His life had been lived to lead others, always.

They stopped first at medical to grab a lantern and said a quick hello to Nyko, and then continued on their way. As they walked he was starting to notice little things about the castle that he’d never paid much attention to before. There were small outlets (That’s what Raven called them.) and lights up high that he had never given a second glance to. It was odd. This castle, which he had now spent a good portion of his life in, suddenly started to look a little different. It wasn’t a bad thing by any means. He of all people knew that different could be a good thing.

He led them to the end of the hallway that held the majority of the bedrooms, to a door at the end, which led to another door that he had the key for, and then to a staircase.

They started to descend and needed to turn the lantern on. He hadn’t been down here in quite a while.

He led them to the room they were looking for and upon arrival, got a short chuckle and a side glance out of Raven.

“Alrighty… ‘Tech Room’ indeed!” She mocked, pointing to the sign that read ‘Tech Room’ on the door. “I wondered how you knew what ‘Tech” meant, but this makes much more sense.” She laughed again, mostly to herself.

Bellamy looked to Clarke and she just rolled her eyes at her friend.

“Okay, that’s enough, lets check it out.” Clarke ordered, opening the door.

Bellamy couldn’t exactly make sense of it all, but they both were beaming about the things they found. Something about high tech medical equipment, generators, and a few other words he had no idea what meant. As often as she could between Raven’s ramblings, Clarke would turn to Bellamy and explain what each thing could do in the simplest terms possible, and he was grateful for it, otherwise he’d have been even more lost.

But that’s not what his true focus was on… It was interesting; he’d never seen this part of her before, the part that was a full on sky girl. The part that he was reminded _did actually_  grow up in the sky; on the Ark. She had a strong tie to all this stuff, an understanding of it that he’d never had. She was sure of herself when she spoke of what this could mean for their people and she had a far off look of hope like she could already see a better way. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen that look on someone. It made him extraordinarily proud of her, and by the time they had left he was a little awe-struck. He had glanced over at Roan on the way back up the stairs, and the way his eyes constantly trailed after Raven looked no less longing than what he felt when he looked at Clarke.

He took joy in the fact that this island did good things for people like Roan; people who had nowhere to go but up. They always seemed to find a place here, and that’s what he loved about it… It’s like the island offered new beginnings to anyone who came looking. Some would argue that it was Bellamy doing the giving, but he’d disagree every time he thought back to his own start on the island.

 

They were back up in the main part of the castle now, and Clarke and Raven were still brainstorming back and forth. Mostly Raven. Bellamy had to interrupt her just to get a word in.

“Old equipment washes up on shore all the time, most of it seems like junk or scrap metal, but maybe you can find something useful?” He suggested.

“Yes! When can I go?” Raven shouted excitedly.

“Now, if you want. I can send Roan with you to have a look.” He turned to Clarke after the other two gravitated closer together at the idea. “And you and I will head to the village. Everyone should meet their new Queen.” He spoke lowly, stepping in close to her and threading his fingers through her hair. He could see her priorities shift in her mind, just as his did. _Damn._ Whenever they were this close it was like everything slowed. He pulled her in for a long kiss, and his heart felt like it was being pulled towards hers.

“Oooooooo!” Raven mused at them, her voice echoing throughout the castle and pulling them out of their moment. He could hear Roan let out a low chuckle. Clarke’s face went red again and she bit her lip nervously.

Clarke had then insisted on changing into something better than what she had on before they left. It ended up being a light blue long sleeved shirt that matched her eyes perfectly, and hugged her incredible body beautifully. He’d reminded her to take her crown, and she’d agreed reluctantly after hearing a speech on how it was important for the people to see her as their Queen. When she placed it on top of her blond curls it took his breath away. She’d caught him staring through the mirror and the laugh that escaped her made him want to cancel the trip to the village and spend the rest of his life in bed with her.

He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of this; of her. Everything she did, every movement, every sound that left her, it was all intoxicating to him, and he never wanted to stop coming back for more. And he’d never have to, because she was _his_ , and he was _hers_.

 

 

Bellamy was speaking to Manuel when Clarke’s voice chimed through the stables, causing him to spin around.

“I’m riding Dyaus!” She declared, standing next to the white horse, playing with his mane while he attempted to nibble at the crown on her head.

“He’s beautiful.” Raven remarked, sauntering over to him, the horse nudging into her playfully. “And friendly!”

“And young.” Bellamy’s voice came out a little harsher than he’d intended. “Unpredictable.” He added on, a little less harsh this time, but still firm.

“Oh come on! I can handle him. He was made for me.” She smiled at the creature, and the way he snuffed with a quick bob of his head made it look like he agreed.

If Bellamy was being honest with himself, he did too. But her safety was more important than their attachment.

“The answer’s no. You’ll take one of the older and calmer ones. I don’t need to be saving your ass the first day out.” He smirked at her.

“You wont have to, I can handle myself just fine!” She shot back defensively.

Raven shot her hands up and backed off slowly to find Roan when Bellamy started to walk over to Clarke, corners of his mouth curled up and an eyebrow raised.

“Have you ever even ridden a horse before, Clarke?” He challenged. Her blank and frustrated face answered his question. “Exactly. You’ll take the more experienced horse.”

Clarke let out a loud and grumbling sound, one that made Bellamy’s smile go wild. He couldn’t even help it. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but _if she wasn’t just the fucking cutest when she was vexed._

He came close to her and pulled her into him, still smiling ear-to-ear as she stared back at him irritated.

“Stubborn princess.” He growled.  
He leaned his head down to her neck mouthed a few open kisses there until her tension left and her arms were around his neck.

“I’ll make it up to you later, alright?” He murmured to her.

Her grip on him got a little tighter then, pulling herself into him more.

“I’ll hold you to that, my King.” She retorted.

“We’re ready to go.” Manuel’s voice called out from the other end of the stable.

 

The group road down the paths, Bellamy and Clarke at the front, Manuel close behind them, and Roan and Raven rode a safe distance back, looking more at each other than the path.

It was a perfect day to be out, not too hot, not too windy. As it turned out, Clarke was a natural. She took to riding the black horse he’d chosen for her very well, and seemed to have a good sense of what she was doing. She sat proudly atop the large animal with a smile he didn’t think would be leaving her lips anytime soon; and he didn’t want it to.

“See, told you I could handle myself!” She boasted as their easy pace turned into something a little quicker. He eased his horse closer to hers.

“Never said you couldn’t, Princess. But Dyaus would have gotten too excited by now and you’d have been on that divine ass of yours. Then what would we have done?” He saw Clarke’s face go red the way he hoped it would and it made him smile.

She mumbled something under her breath in response.

“What was that?” He urged, smiling even bigger now.

“I said, _float yourself_  Bellamy!” She yelled back, very obviously trying to fight the smile on her face.

He heard Manuel laugh lowly from behind them, but when Bellamy turned his gaze to him, he was completely neutral. He looked back to Clarke only to find a proud look on her face.

“Muchof, Manuel.” _Thank you._  She called back to him without turning her head.

“Ai Haiplana.” _My Queen._  Manuel called back in recognition.

“Oh, this is great.” Bellamy joked sarcastically. “You two, ganging up on me.” She looked at him deviously and he winked at her, causing her to hide her face instantly.

It actually was great. The fact that she’d spoken comfortably in their language and had real relationships forming here sent a jolt of excitement through him, and he felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest soon.

That right there, that was proof enough that he had made the right decision.

Some part of him, the strategic part, had told him it was a good idea. Everyone wanted Skaikru for some reason or another, and he was glad that his connection to Lexa bought him assurance in their arrival. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened to these people, to Clarke, if he hadn’t wanted them.

All the weeks of planning had been completely worth it. He never truly thought that the alliance would be anything more than that to both parties, but fortunately… he was wrong.

He heard fast hooves coming up from behind him, and Roan’s voice directing the horse to slow as he came up beside him and looking a little sceptically between him and Clarke.

“Can I have a word?” He requested. Bellamy looked to Clarke and thankfully she caught on and dismissed herself easily.

“I’ll ease back with Raven.” She smiled, and turned her horse around with a click of her tongue. She was a natural.

His attention came back to Roan once she was out of hearing distance.

“What is it?” He urged. He’d known Roan for a few years now after meeting in Polis, and he had very quickly become someone he admired; trusted, even. As much as he could given their circumstance.

“I don’t know exactly how this is done, but…” He glanced over his shoulder to the brunette girl, and then back to Bellamy. “I want to stay. Become apart of your people.” He confessed surely.

Bellamy looked at him with scrutinizing eyes, and for a second let himself remember Clarke saying those same words to him this morning. He glanced over his shoulder at her, laughing at something Raven said, her blond hair bouncing with her every time her horse took a step. His protective side took a stand. He looked back to Roan with sympathy in his eyes.

“Roan, if that were at all possible I would have asked you already.” He disclosed calmly.

Roan’s eyes went a little crazy.

“Why cant it be?! It’s simple!-“

“It is not, and you know it.” He interrupted with finality. “You’re Prince of Azgeda. Your people are ready to go to war and your Queen wants Clarke. How is that simple?” His question was rhetorical. Roan fell silent for about a minute, mulling things over, and looking back to Raven every few seconds.

“I didn’t want to be Prince. That life was forced upon me.” He paused for a moment. “If I come back empty handed… I’ll be lucky if I’m not killed.” His voice was low and deadly, almost threatening. Bellamy felt his demon starting to creep up on him, overtaking his eyes first as he shot daggers at him. His voice came out in more of a growl than anything.

“If you dare to even think about taking Clarke I will-“

“No.” He interrupted. “I couldn’t make myself. Although… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it at first, but… That’s not the person I want to be. Not to innocent people. Not anymore.” Roan didn’t look at Bellamy, and he looked a little ashamed. He didn’t let Roan’s transparency distract him.

“The Ice Queen will come looking for you. And Clarke. You have to go back, Roan.”

He was quiet for a few minutes longer. Thinking something over until finally his head snapped over to Bellamy.

“I can… take care of the situation.”

That caught Bellamy’s attention, and he raised his brow to him in curiosity. Roan’s voice was quieter when he spoke again.

“If the Ice Queen falls… both our problems are solved.”

Bellamy was going to ask if he’d really kill his own mother, but he’d heard stories of the Ice Queen his whole life, met her only once, and from what he knew about Roan… It didn’t surprise him.

“Then you would be King.” Bellamy observed.

“No, I don’t want it.”

“Then who-“

“My sister. Ontari.”

Bellamy looked at him with blatant disbelief. He’d met Ontari a few times before in Polis. He wouldn’t trust her with anything.

“You would trust Ontari to lead your people? She’s at your mothers heel like a dog.” He spat.

“Yes, because all she want’s is the power. Not because she cares what my mother is doing with hers. Trust me. As long as she’s in charge, there will be no war against your people. She is too much of a coward, and she doesn’t have the head for it. Our people will follow because she’s a nightblood, and she wont challenge Lexa, because as we know, she’s afraid of her.”

Bellamy smiled wryly at the memory of Ontari and Lexa’s meeting in Polis, and how quickly Lexa had put her in her place. Even if Ontari did challenge Lexa, he knew her well and he knew without a doubt who would come out victorious.

He considered everything for a moment more before coming to a conclusion.

“I can’t tell you what to do, or help you make the decision. It’s not my place.” He stated before continuing on after Roan’s face fell. “However… I can say that if the threat is gone against my people, and against Clarke, you will have a place here whenever you choose to take it.”

Roan’s grin was one of happiness and relief, which then turned into one of determination and planning.

“Thank you, my King.”

Bellamy nodded to him, feeling hopeful at a resolve to this problem.

“Take the next path to the east, until you hit the ocean. You’ll see the piles.”

 Roan turned his horse around to head back and a few minutes later Clarke caught up to him and gave him a smirk of her own.   
“You’re looking devious.” She drawled in observation. The tone of her voice made him a little crazed, and he shot her a lustful glance.

“I’m feeling devious, princess.” His voice came out an octave deeper than it should have, and it made her bite her lip. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but maybe he did it on purpose sometimes.

If Roan could really make this happen… It’d be a hell of a lot better for everyone involved. Clarke would be safe.

 

  

**CLARKE’S P.O.V**

Her horse wasn’t Dyaus, but she did like this one. Manuel had said her name was Adela, and she did seem calm and collected; a good horse to learn on... although she wouldn’t ever admit it to Bellamy.

By the time Raven and Roan went their way and she’d reached sight of the village she felt comfortable riding, and by the time they were actually in the village, she didn’t have to think much about it at all. The black creature made it all pretty easy.

The first thing she noticed was how everyone’s eyes followed after her in awe. She heard endless murmurs of ‘Wanheda’ and ‘Skai Haiplana’. _Sky Queen_

It made it hard to take in the village itself. This was the first time the majority of these people were seeing a sky person, and their new Queen. Clarke was suddenly feeling very unprepared to deal with all the thoughts and feelings it was giving her. The people didn’t look upset or angry in the least, just in wonderment of the unknown.

 

She was nervous and sceptical as they dismounted from their horses, but Bellamy had come straight to her side and taken her hand in silent assurance.

They walked through the town, some people stopping to say hello to Clarke in their language. She was glad she knew the basics, and when she didn’t understand Bellamy was quick to jump in and finish the conversation for her.

They made it to the centre of the village where she could still see the charred grass from where the fires had been. Everything had been rebuilt by now though, and it was incredible to see these people bustling about and doing their jobs. It was a huge community that seemed more warm and welcoming than the Ark ever had.

“I just have a few things to take care of. Manuel will stay with you.” Bellamy’s voice drew her out of her thoughts.

“Oh. Can’t I come with you?” She asked hopefully.

He shifted strangely at the request but recovered quickly with a smirk.

“Sorry princess. I wont be long. Promise.” He dropped a quick kiss to her forehead. “Look around, there’s lots to see.” He encouraged before giving her hand a squeeze. He said something to Manuel before walking off to the west part of the village.

Manuel was right behind her in an instant.

Clarke decided to take his suggestion. She sauntered through the town and the array of shops when one in particular captured her attention. The shop had brightly coloured fabrics and beads strewn about; but that wasn’t exactly what had caught her eye. It was the selection of books beneath it. She walked over to the hut and saw a grey curly haired woman with a bright flowing orange dress tending to it.

When she saw Clarke she stood proudly and smiled excitedly in her direction.

“Ai Haiplana.” _My Queen._  She breathed, bowing her head slightly to her.

Hearing that still seemed weird.

“Clarke.” She insisted, introducing herself and smiling warmly at the woman who looked overjoyed in return.

Clarke’s fingers ran delicately over the books, tracing their beautiful leather covers.

She stopped on one in particular that had a symbol she recognized over it. It was a circle with three crescent moons through it; the symbol of Trikru.

“Meizen, nou?” _Beautiful, no?_  The woman gestured to the book in question. Clarke was glad for the words Lincoln and Octavia had been teaching her while Bellamy was recovering. It seemed she’d need to use her small knowledge of the language lots today.

“Very.” She agreed, picking it up and untwining the leather laces on the side. To her great shock and pleasure, the thick white pages were all empty canvases. Her hands ghosted over them and she was already thinking of all the drawings she’d love to fill them with.

“Gon yu.” _For you._  The woman gestured to the book, looking between it and Clarke.

“Oh, oh no. No I couldn’t.” She put it back down. “I don’t have anything to give you for it, I-“ She was cut off by the old woman’s scoff. She picked it up and handed it over insistently.

“Gon ai Haiplana.” _For my Queen._  She said surely.

Clarke’s heart felt warmth spread through it at the old woman’s kindness.

She hesitated for only a moment before accepting the book.

“Thank you,” Clarke choked out sincerely. “Muchof. I love it.” _Thank you._  She wasn’t sure why it was making her so emotional, and she tried to swallow it before she really embarrassed herself.

The woman gave her one more heartfelt smile before sitting down behind the table.

 

Clarke continued to walk through the town with her book in hand. Manuel showed her a few of the main buildings, one of which caught her attention specifically.

“It’s new, built only last month.” He explained. “Bellamy want’s Nyko to start teaching here.”

“Teaching?” She asked curiously.

“Yes, healing.” He clarified. “Healers are very coveted people. Not many have what it takes or the patience to learn everything they need to. Most prefer to train as warriors. But Bellamy is trying to change that. Our two village healers died only a few months ago, and now there are only a handful of elders in the village who stepped in to help. But unfortunately they weren’t trained to be healers, so their knowledge is limited.” He stated grimly. “Nyko was our only healer for a while, until Lincoln decided to learn. Nyko is supposed to be moving into the village to get it started up.” He explained.

“Lincoln wasn’t always a healer?” For some reason, this surprised her. It suited him so well, and he seemed to be really good at it, from what she’d seen.

“No.” He paused before deciding how to continue. “I was head of the army for a long time until my wife died.” Clarke looked up at him with surprise.

“She was called on by the commander to lead a war, and she never came back.” He took a moment to bring himself out of his thoughts, and Clarke’s heart broke for him.

“After that… Bellamy signed me to his own personal guard. Lincoln had been my second. I taught him how to fight, and he was good at it. He was a great warrior; smart and tactful. But his heart was never meant for that life. After the healers died he stepped up, and he’s done extremely well. He’s found his place.”

She came to the conclusion that these people would never stop surprising her in the best ways. They were not savages. They were just beautiful people living their beautiful lives, and doing what they had to survive. She knew that all too well.

She thought back to her time on the Ark… and she realized that not once had she ever felt this much sympathy to the people there. She always cared about people, but she hadn’t truly cared about humanity in this way until she’d hit the ground. Things were different here. Everyone had something that they relied on, the thing that brought them all together and made them the same; Earth. On the Ark they survived. On Earth… they lived. That was the difference.

Just then she felt a little hand pull on the side of her shirt. She looked down to see a beautiful little boy. He couldn’t have been more than 3 years old. His dark curly hair fell into his eyes and his green eyes looked up to her with wonderment; a beaming smile plastered on his face.

“Haiplana! Haiplana!”  _Queen! Queen!_  He giggled.

Clarke smiled widely at the boy.

“Hei strikon!” _Hello young one!_  Clarke leaned down to the boy, giving him a playful poke in his tummy. He laughed in response and then reached a careful finger up to her head. She took off her crown and placed it on top of his head. It was much too big for him, but he held it in place with both fists and his giggles vibrated through him at his glee.

Clarke joined him in laughter, until she heard a woman calling from the medical building.

“Silas! Silas, _miya_!” _Come here!_  The woman had extremely long brown hair that had one braid running down the side of her head.

She stormed over, eyes stuck on the little boy who was still giggling not so innocently. Clarke stood up and noticed that the woman had a large swollen belly she was holding onto. She must have been about 8 months pregnant, Clarke guessed.

The woman picked up the boy into her arms and placed him on her hip. She started scolding him in her language and then cut herself off mid sentence when her gaze landed on the crown that the boy was still holding on top of his head. She looked to Manuel and then to Clarke, awareness finding her. She took a wary step back.

“Moba, ai Haiplana. I’m sorry. I- I was just getting a check up, I had no idea-“ _I’m sorry, my Queen._

“It’s alright, I made a new friend.” Clarke smiled at her and then at the boy, leaning towards him to grasp his hand, which was outstretched towards her. The crown was lopsided on his head now, and it was too cute to handle.

The woman finally smiled and then took the crown off her son’s head with surprisingly little fuss on his part. She handed it back to Clarke with caution.

“Thank you.” She placed the crown back on her head feeling more than a little silly.

“You said you were getting a check up… for your baby?” She guessed. The woman was a little hesitant to answer, a pained expression crossing her face.

“Yes… I feel the kicking down here.” She put a hand to the lowest part of her stomach.

She was pretty sure she knew what that meant, and Clarke felt instant sympathy for the woman.

“If you want… I can take a look? I’m a healer.” Clarke offered softly.

The woman only took a quick second in what looked like disbelief before agreeing adamantly.

They walked to the medical building and Clarke introduced herself to the two elders that were there. Manuel was right, she noticed looking around that they didn’t have nearly the amount of equipment yet as they had in the castle. But with no experienced healers yet, that was to be expected.

She got the go ahead to examine the woman.

“Okay, I’m going to feel your stomach, and I’ll have to apply some pressure to see what position the baby is in. If it’s too uncomfortable or painful, just let me know, okay?” Her voice was even and professional as she sanitised her hands.

“Yes, my Queen.” The woman agreed. She sounded a little more comfortable now, like she was relieved, but still a little nervous in Clarke’s presence.

“Clarke,” She corrected. “You can just call me Clarke.”

The woman smiled.

“Nona.” She introduced herself letting go of the rest of her tension, and it made Clarke feel like she’d won a small war. It wasn’t lost on her that this alliance was an adjustment for both sides equally.

“Nona. Lovely name.” She walked over to her. “If you can lie down and lift your shirt, I’ll begin.” She said gesturing to one of the beds.

Nona did as instructed while Manuel kept the little boy, Silas, occupied. Clarke’s hands came to her stomach, and the woman flinched a little at the cold touch.

“Sorry.” Clarke mumbled. The woman just smiled in reply as Clarke felt around her stomach, pushing into it to feel the baby’s position. It didn’t feel right, she couldn’t feel the baby’s back and bum like she should be able to at this point in the pregnancy.

She moved her hands lower down her belly and she felt a sudden kick there. They looked at each other worriedly and Clarke tried to compose her features as not to give the woman more reason to be frightened.

“How far along?” Clarke asked lightly.

“About 8 months in.” She answered. Her voice was grim, she knew this was not a good situation.

“Okay,” Clarke began steadily. “So, your baby appears to be breech.”

The woman’s eyes bugged a little.

“Breech?” She breathed in confusion.

“Yes, the baby’s head should be positioned downwards in the uterus, but instead it’s flipped.” She used her hands to gesture on her own stomach while she explained.

“It feels like the feet are down right now, which can be quite difficult for delivery. But, If you’re comfortable with it, I know a few things that could help the baby turn around.”

“I’ll try anything. Beja.” _Please._  The woman’s hand clasped Clarke’s in desperation. “Woman and their children do not survive this kind of birth.” She spoke lowly and desperately. Manuel’s head snapped up and he directed the young boy outside, sensing that he probably shouldn’t hear this about his mother.

Nona’s eyes burned pleadingly into Clarke’s and she felt the weight of the situation sit on her shoulders.

“Okay. We’ll try to reposition the baby, but you have to know, there are risks.”

She continued on to warn of the things that could go wrong, the placenta could tear, she could go into preterm labour, the baby was big already, so it may not work at all.

Nona insisted they try anyway.

Clarke pushed firmly on her tummy, finding the outline of the baby and guiding it to turn with some firm pushes. It took a while, but she thought she made some progress.

“Keep you’re knees apart and don’t let your legs press against your stomach. You’ll have to lay on your back as much as possible, and elevate your hips slightly multiple times a day.” Clarke explained. “It will help the baby move into place.”

The woman took the information in, but still sat looking at Clarke with a nervous look on her face.

“I’ll continue coming back to the village to check on you.” She assured, giving her a small hug when fearful tears welled up in her eyes. “It’ll be okay, I’ve delivered a breech baby before.” Clarke felt a little guilty lying to the woman, but she had _seen_ a breech baby born, and she felt very confident in her ability to do this. It was like a survival thing for her people kicked in again. It was either she had to do this successfully, or another death would be her fault. And she wouldn’t let that happen, not when she had knowledge to help it.

The woman, Nona, got up and wiped the tears from her face the second her son came running in with Manuel right behind him. The boy ran into his mother’s arms and gave her swollen tummy a rub with his tiny hand.

She had to make this work.

 

After Nona left, Clarke had realized the elders had been watching rather closely, and they had all kinds of questions for her. She answered willingly until someone came in with a dislocated shoulder. Clarke popped it back into place and then one of the elders brought over a thick piece of cloth to use as a sling.

Clarke was tying it above the man’s shoulder when Bellamy came in and watched her silently from the door. He waited until the man had left with directions to keep his arm immobile, before sauntering over to her and wrapping his fingers around hers.

“Now how did I know you’d end up here.” He murmured lowly to her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Clarke could only manage a shrug and then she remembered the pregnant woman.

“Oh!” She clasped his arm. “Speaking of, I’ll need to be coming back to the village lots, there’s a woman who has a breech baby. She needs a healer to help her deliver and try to get the baby to flip.” Bellamy looked a little puzzled at everything for a second before he considered and then came to a decision, staring at her adoringly all the while.

“I have a cabin at the end of the village. We’ll stay there.” He said decidedly.

Clarke was relieved, but felt bad all the same.

“Oh, okay… well you don’t have to stay there too, I mean, not just because I have to-“ His lips cut her off. She kissed him back after a second and came away from it feeling a little bewildered.

“We’re a team, princess. Besides. I have some things that I need to continue taking care of here. Lot’s to catch up on.” He took a second of just staring at her before he went on. “I chose you wisely. You are a force to be reckoned with, ai keryon.” _My soul._

She felt a heat on her neck and chest, but ignored his compliment to focus on the problem.

“You know, I’ll have to stay here until she delivers. She could die if she doesn’t have the right help.” She pointed out seriously.

“I know. I’ll stay with you.” He insisted.

Clarke wanted to argue, but to be honest; she didn’t mind the side of him that never wanted to let her out of his sight, because it meant that he’d never be out of hers.

She grabbed her new book and he pulled her out of the medical building with a taunting look on his face that made her a feel a little crazy.

“What’s that?” He gestured to the book.

“Oh, it was a gift from one of the shop ladies…” She held the book out to show him, gliding her hand over the imprinted leather.

He took the book from her and opened it up, examining the blank pages with a pleased look on his face.

“Perfect.” He murmured.

“What?” She looked at him puzzled. He just grinned at her as he searched the pockets in his jacket. “Bellamy, what is it?” She pressed, shoving his shoulder playfully.

“Gotcha something.” He said, finally pulling something out of his pocket and offering it to her.

Clarke gave him a look before taking the item.

It was a small box, she opened it up and found charcoal black drawing pencils.

“Oh my god…” She breathed. “Bellamy… How did you- ugh, thank you.” She stammered over her words. It made her strangely emotional as she jumped into his arms, not caring about the people around them that watched in curiosity.

“Your welcome.” He murmured into her neck.

When she pulled back his mood switched back to playful in an instant as his finger came up to her chin and pressed against her lip suggestively, his eyes never leaving the area.

“Draw anything you want.” He suggested with a devilish wink that made Clarke feel weak in the knees.

_Oh, I will._  She thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think ! Also If you want, follow me on twitter. @AtiaJoyR And let me know that you read my story!


	14. It was my fight too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally learn about Bellamy's back story!!!  
> Cliff hanger.... #sorrynotsorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you for you're patience and I really hope that you're all still with me on this story!!  
> I really, really wanted to make sure this chapter was how I wanted it, and I realize there may be a small discrepancy in the story, and I'm going to go back and fix it later.  
> Enjoy!

Chapter 14 – It was my fight too

 

 

**CLARKE’S P.O.V**

The cabin was beautiful; it reminded her of a picture in a book her father had once read to her. She never thought that in a million years she’d be seeing something on earth itself that made her feel like she was in a book rather than just reading one. But here she was.

It was their second night here, and the sun had gone down hours ago, but the energy in their little hideaway was still very much alive.

Bellamy was laid on his back and Clarke folded easily into his side.

The crackling of the fireplace and the smell of the fire were enough to make her want to sleep… but Bellamy had the Iliad open and his voice was more entrancing than anything as he read.

_“Men soon grow sick of battle; when Zeus the steward of warfare tilts the scales, and cold steel reaps the fields, the grain is very little but the straw is very much._

_The belly is a bad mourner, and fasting will not bury the dead._

_Too many are falling, man after man and day after day; how could one ever have a moment's rest from privations?_

_No, we must harden our hearts, and bury the man who dies and shed our tears that day._

_But those who survive the horrors of war should not forget to eat and drink, and then we shall be better able to wear our armour, which never grows weary, and to fight our enemies for ever and ever.”_

 

His voice carried a weight to it as he read this particular passage. He knew the pain of war all too well… they both did, but she was sure Bellamy had more experience. As he’d been speaking she thought of the picture that hung in the weapons room. A young Bellamy, ready for war. His rage unrecognizable to how he looked now. She’d wanted to ask him for so long what it meant.

Her thoughts slipped from her tongue without her permission.

“The picture in the weapons room… Is that you?”

Bellamy froze for a second and then the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

“Knew you were going to ask about that sooner or later.” He mumbled dismissively.

“So it is you.” It wasn’t a question. He looked down at her through hooded eyes, and when he saw no trace of playfulness in Clarke’s expression, his face fell. He wouldn’t be able to get out of this if she had anything to say about it.

“It is.” He confirmed solemnly, and then twisted to place the book on the small table that sat beside their bed. He laid flat on his back again then, his hands meeting at the middle of his stomach and pressing together in something between stress and thought.

Clarke propped herself up on her elbow to look at him, anticipating the story to follow.

“Is there even a point in trying to argue?” He forces a smirk at her.

“Bellamy…” She whispered his name before taking one of his hands and meeting his eyes.

His brows came together. The hand that wasn’t holding hers balled up into a fist and his entire body went rigid. A harsh breath released from him and he looked unsure. He looked like he was nostalgic… not in a good way; like he was already reliving some type of personal hell as he found a place to start. It wasn’t what she thought.

 

“When I was born a nightblood, my mother left our clan with me to keep me safe. She didn’t show me to my father; just told him I was a Frikdreina. A mutant. He never believed her. He suspected my blood. He found us years later… when I was 4. She killed him in front of me.’

An intense second passed. One in which Clarke’s heart and mind were completely tied to his story. Guilt flooded through her, maybe she shouldn’t have forced him to talk about it, to relive things. But he continued before she could say something.

“He wanted to deliver me to the commander. We went from outskirts to outskirts of clan territory… getting close enough for trading outposts but never actually landing anywhere we could call a home.

She attracted trouble wherever she went... something about her. But she was stubborn, and she knew how to get her way. It kept us alive.” He looked at her and gave her a timid grin. She knew what he was thinking. It was just like her. She put her head down in something close to embarrassment until he continued.

“I was 6 years old when Octavia was born. Her father…” He stopped for a second, his eyes becoming a shade darker with anger if that was even possible. “He was a war chief from one of the outlying clans. That was the closest we ever came to belonging. He wanted to train me. Make me into a warrior. I wanted to be strong like him… I looked to him. He was like this God from the stories my mom would tell me.

She forbid me from training with him, for fear of finding out I was a nightblood. We knew he was devout to the commander. But my mom was very pregnant and scared, so we stayed. And I was young and stupid.

It went well for a while, I would sneak out when my mom went to sleep and I would train with him. I was always careful.” He took another moment contemplating where he wanted to go next with the story, and Clarke squeezed his hand in encouragement. His eyes looked far off and a small smile she couldn’t make sense of spread across his face for a moment.

“Then Octavia was born. She was beautiful.” His smile faded after a beat. His eyes focused on the wall across from them. “My mother took a long time to recover from the birth, so I helped a lot. Her father couldn’t have been bothered. He was more interested in continuing my training.

Once she was better I took no time in getting back to that.” He swiped a hand over his ashamed face. It looked like he could have been wiping a tear, but she couldn’t quite tell.

“One night after training we were walking back to the border where our hut was. He had told me that he was proud of me.” He chuckled cynically to himself, taking a long moment before he continued. “We were almost back… when I fell and scraped my wrist on a rock. The second he saw my blood I was an object to him. Guess he figured that he could get a spot in the commander’s royal guard if he brought me in or something. He didn’t make it. My mother had been outside and saw the whole thing. She sent an arrow straight through his neck without a second thought.

We never stopped running since. Octavia became my responsibility. My mother hunted and travelled to trading posts. She made allies. She’d leave me with O for days on end sometimes, hidden deep in the forest or by the ocean. That’s where we were when we found Lexa. Her father was trying to hide her, too. Sometime down the line we had heard stories of ships that would carry us across the ocean and to other islands, so that’s what we searched for.”

His voice changed then. It was lighter, fond.

“We grew up together for many years. We were close, always looked out for each other. Her father was an incredible warrior and he trained all of us well for years. Once we got a little older Lexa started asking lots of questions about the commanders and Polis. I think a small part of her was always called to that. When I was 13 we ran into the flamekeeper scouts. Lexa’s father died trying to protect her. She took one look at his lifeless body and something in her changed. I could see it. Lexa gave herself up for me. She was 12. 13 when she won her conclave and ascended.”

Clarke thought back to the woman who she met in Polis. She looked fierce as hell. And now it made sense.

“After that we continued down the sea line for weeks until _finally_ … we came across the ships. My mom left again to go get a group of people together and to visit Polis. She told Lexa in private of our findings, and she told us to go. So we did. We found the island, the castle, and we came back to tell her about it, but she had other things going on. She gave us permission to return and make a life there with a promise to keep the information hidden.

3 year’s later Lexa took a small team out to the Island. We had been set up pretty well there, but we needed help. Numbers. She said she wanted a better way for her people that looked to escape the war that was brewing. We came to an agreement that she would name the land as ours. I could start my own clan as an extension of her own people, her own clan. That’s why we are Trikru.” He explained. “But it came at a price. I would become King, and then she needed me to lead a war in her name.” Clarke was staggered to say the least.

“For what?” She asked bewildered.

He shrugged. “There was an uprising. Many of the clan leaders wanted her gone. The previous commander was Azgeda and they had mostly taken charge of things. They had people create blood bonds in every clan, by force, to Azgeda people. Before the commander was killed Azgeda tried to take over all the clans. So when she became commander and fought against that… they still had enough power to try and sway the majority against her. It took a while, but eventually people started to question her within her own walls for her peaceful tactics. She was being challenged constantly, and she accepted each one to fight herself.”

“Why did she call on you?”

“She knew I was an excellent fighter. She needed someone she could trust. And someone who would take over for her if she was to be killed in Polis, a nightblood who was worthy. She had to get things under control there. But her fight was bigger than preserving her own life. It was trying to unite the 12 clans the right way. Restore proper order.”

Clarke thought about it as her finger traced the veins on his arm. A million questions rang through her, but she settled on one.

“What did you have to do?” She whispered.

He seemed hesitant to answer. The look on his face, if it was at all possible, became even more far off. He spoke quietly, his voice full of pride and pain alike.

“We went village to village and took out the blood bonds. Killed the Azgeda men who were placed there to have influence on the other clans. Anyone who questioned the commander’s order was executed. The loyal joined in every village and followed us into the next. It took us 4 months…

We were 3,000 strong when we marched into Azgeda territory. Lexa met us there, having won her fights in Polis, and I was right by her side when we took on their King.” He paused and thought.

“Once all was said and done, Azgeda bowed to their commander again, and I got to come home.

It was my fight too. I owed it to my blood and to Lexa. I had been running for too long. I had Octavia and my mother to fight for. We’d finally felt free, and I wasn’t about to let power hungry scum rip that from me. From _my_ people.”

Clarke blinked a few times, took a moment to really let her mind expand around everything. _Wow._ His life was like a story straight out of the Iliad. A life barred with justice and vengeance alike. Pain and redemption, all wrapped into a beautiful mess that made up his intricate past.

His thumb found the worry in between her brow before she could get too lost in thought, and his head bent down towards hers.

“Now you know.” He whispered, dropping a firm kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you.” She murmured back. He closed his eyes with a small nod, still holding her close. “Really. That couldn’t have been easy for you.” She sympathized.

He shrugged and held her tight. She ignored the uncomfortable feeling of his stitches scratching against her stomach and hugged this incredible man. Knowing what he’d gone through only made her feel for him more. Whatever it was that she felt…

 

-

 

The week that followed was nothing short of spectacular. It almost felt like a dream, the life she was living.

Clarke couldn’t remember a time where she had felt so comfortable and at ease. The memories of her life on the Ark seemed distant now. She hadn’t been around her friends to remind her of the family’s they’d left behind or the loss they’d endured. Every time the thought of her mother had pushed its way to the front of her mind, she’d think about it for hours in her silence. She’d always end up shoving it and her unresolved anger into the back of her head again and telling herself there was nothing to be done about it now. That’s how she continued to leave it.

 

She went back to the castle only once to have her first meeting with the elders and council in which she got filled in on a lot of the current happenings on the Island and with their people; during which she felt as though she wasn’t quite getting the whole story, but when she had asked Manuel about it he had dismissed it very quickly, and she chose to as well.

Manuel had basically been assigned to her and as soon as she left the cabin he was there. She liked him as a person, and she knew he was just doing his job because Bellamy was so overprotective. Either way, she enjoyed his company, and he was always friendly towards her.

 

Clarke had just gotten back to their cabin late one night after checking on Nona and her progress, which wasn’t a lot unfortunately. The baby had moved its legs up, but was still bum first. It was a small victory, but ultimately not what she’d been hoping for.

 She’d been tending to many others with minor illness and injuries all day; all week, actually. Nyko was bringing medicines over now and was starting to teach a young girl who Clarke thought had a knack for being a healer. Her day had been rather occupied as the colder weather started to set in. It had been raining most of the day, and since the sky started to darken, the storm was getting worse. She was thankful in that moment that she’d gotten back before it got really bad, as she was sure it would within the next few hours.

She called a goodnight to Manuel over her shoulder as she ran up to her door and inside.

She stood in the dark cabin she was now familiar with and walked over to the fireplace to start a fire. _Bellamy must still be in his meeting,_ She thought as she brought some wood over to the ashy fireplace. Five minutes later she was basking in its warmth as it started to light up the small area. She was getting really good at starting fires. She ran her fingers through her damp hair and gave a big sigh of both relief and contentment.

Clarke looked around at the wooden walls and their bed in the far corner. Bellamy was definitely not here. She did, however, see something else on the bed.

She kicked off her dirty boots and made her way over to examine the small piece of paper. She ripped her damp jacket and shirt off and stepped out of her pants before jumping onto the warm furs and grabbing the note that sat on top of her leather drawing book; one of her charcoal pencils sitting on top.

 

_I came back to see you but you were gone._

_My meeting will go late. Be back before the sun comes up._

_Think of me._

_~ Bellamy_

 

 

Clarke felt warmth spread through her as she let out a small giggle and grabbed her pencil and book, which now was mostly filled with complex lines that formed the same person on every page. The black charcoal pencils just seemed to fit, it captured his dark features so well. She _would_ be thinking of him as she drew.

She’d be thinking of the night before, his head between her legs, how she could admire the way his black curls fell as she was sent into oblivion after oblivion of exhilarating bliss. Thinking of exactly how he felt, every inch of his body that she spent her spare time memorizing, just as he did with her. She thought of their first night here, the extensive tour of the small space that happened to take the entire night to complete. She had become very familiar with the feeling of the log wall against her back that night. The sheer magic this place seemed to have over her. It was like it numbed her. It numbed all her fears and doubts, everything that haunted her and everything she’d done. It was like a safe haven that protected her from herself, from her past. This little piece of paradise.

That’s what she fell asleep to – the rain pouring, fire crackling and her mind wandering.

 

Her sleep was dreamless and deep, until she woke up to a large crash. She lurched up with a gasp as she came to her senses. It was loud as the rain fell violently onto the earth and the cabin. The room was dark and cold, the fire all but a few burning embers now. She lay back down and took in the change as she focused on letting her heartbeat slow back down to normal. Bellamy was still not here. Another booming crash roared through the sky followed by a flash of light that lit everything up for a split second. Her mind and her eyes were completely alert in the darkness.

It was minutes later that she heard a few voices yelling back and forth to each other outside. She listened intently but couldn’t make out the owners. And then one of them was closer. She recognized it as Bellamy’s right before the door swung open and then slammed shut behind him. He let out an angry growl and ripped his soaking jacket off, throwing it to the ground. He stood in silence and Clarke watched him as he breathed deeply. He was angry, that was clear. She didn’t even think he noticed her.

He kicked his boots off and made his way to the fire, grabbing more wood and trying to get the fire started up again. She watched him for minutes on end as he tried to get the small flames to grow, and once or twice she thought of getting up to help him as he obviously seemed distracted; but he hadn’t noticed her there yet, or if he did he wasn’t interested in speaking, and something inside her told her to just leave him be.

Finally the flames caught and started to grow, but he didn’t leave, instead he took his shirt off and sat down in front of the fire, letting it warm him.

She thought again about saying something or going over… surely he must know that she was there? Or remembered the note he’d left her? Maybe he just thought she was sleeping… something was off.

He then swore under his breath and brought his hands up to his head, running them through his hair and then covering his face. The stress that waved off of him took no time reaching her. The air was thick with a tension that Clarke didn’t understand.

The orange light danced on his skin as it started to feel warm again in the room and Bellamy showed no sign of leaving his spot on the floor any time soon. Clarke didn’t say a word, and she wasn’t sure how long she examined him and the mood of the room until her exhaustion overcame her.

 

The second time she woke up it was to another crash, much like the first. This time it didn’t scare her as much, but she still gasped as her eyes flung open.

The fire was still going enough to light up the room and Bellamy was laying down on the bed with his back to her. She wondered if he was asleep until his voice made her jump a little.

“It was just the thunder. Go back to sleep.” He spoke lowly. There was tightness to his voice. Restriction she hadn’t heard before.

“I know…” She whispered back unsurely. This was strange. She couldn’t decipher him right now, and she didn’t know if she should. She gave it a try anyway.

“What happened?” Was all she could think to ask.

If it was possible, his body went even more rigid than it had been. It took a moment for his reply, but when it came it was cold as ice.

“Nothing.”

Every part of Clarke wanted to fight him on that. Her stubborn side was pushing its way up for the first time in a week to try and argue. His voice sounded equally angry and sad. Was he angry with her? That’s what it sounded like.

“What’s wrong?” Her question came across more as a statement, her tone irritated now.

“Leave it alone.” He replies through clenched teeth.

“Bellamy, if it’s something I can help with, than I’d like to hel-“

“It’s not.” He snaps, practically spitting the words at her.

Clarke is taken back, and unwelcome tears sting at her eyes from the instant hurt she feels. She hates that she lets herself feel that way.

A minute later he lets out a huge sigh and then sits up on the bed, back still to her.

“Just go to sleep, Clarke. We’ll talk tomorrow.” His voice is a tiny bit softer now, but the damage has been done and it still feels like there is poison in the air.

Anger grows inside her, and she quickly turns her back to his, letting her tears fall before she closes her eyes, forcing herself into sleep again.

 

 

The third time she woke it was to him closing the door as he left. The sound and the silence that followed hurt her. He must be mad at her. For what, she had not a clue… but she intended to find out.

The scent of fresh rain was heavy in the morning, and unlike the cloudy skies yesterday, the sun seemed to be beaming now.

Clarke wasted no time getting dressed and heading out. She walked the small dirt path, Bellamy was nowhere to be seen, and for once, she didn’t mind not seeing him. Somewhere along the line Manuel had fallen in close behind her and he may have asked a question, but if he did Clarke hadn’t noticed. The thoughts in her head of the last 6 or so hours were loud and unforgiving as they nagged at her heart and head.

With every minute that passed she seemed to get more and more irritated, her everything was eating at her, slowly starting to burn down the sense of security she’d had before.

 

The day was passing by slowly; too slowly.

It started with her checking on Nona, who to her dismay had still made no progress. The baby was still in the breech position, and was quickly growing too big to be able to shift. She tried to shove all of her inner aggression and growing angst to the deepest part of her while she was in Nona’s presence, and she was pleased that it seemed to work. She was also slightly disturbed that she was getting so good at it. She didn’t want the pregnant and already worried woman to get worse because Clarke had bad vibes.

When she’d walked out of the hut she was okay for only a moment until she saw Bellamy across the clearing by another group of cabins and huts surrounded by his small group of people. He noticed her too, his face disturbingly blank when his eyes met hers. It made the rage boil up in her even more.

She took only a few steps before Bellamy had pointed a man in her direction. The man quickly did as he was told and ran towards her. She walked quicker towards the other side of town where the medical building was.

“My Queen,” He wasn’t quite yelling after her, but his voice was loud enough she couldn’t pretend she didn’t hear it. She stopped begrudgingly with a large breath and appraised the man. She recognized him as Tavin, one of Bellamy’s training guards who looked no older than she was. He seemed more a boy than a man. He took a quick bow to her, and she was trying to fight her annoyance.

“What is it Tavin?” She tried to control her tone. She didn’t think it worked.

“My Queen, the King would like a word.” He spoke kindly and to be honest he looked a little intimidated when his eyes met hers. Normally she’d feel awful at this response in her people, but not today. Today she wanted distance. Her tongue moved in between her teeth as she appraised Bellamy, who was still talking to about 6 different people and looked like he couldn’t actually be bothered to talk to her.

“Does he.” She drawled, barely containing the roll of her eyes as she continued walking. _He could have talked this morning, or last night._ She thought bitterly.

The boy seemed thrown off, confused to say the least before he jumped after her, jogging to catch up to her quick pace.

“I- uhm, what- what should I tell him?” The boy finally decided on asking once it was pretty apparent that she wasn’t going to comply. She stopped walking then, turning to face the boy who was all but cowering under her eyes.

Clarke felt a little bad, and tried to smile as genuinely as she could before giving him her answer.

“Tell him that if he want’s to speak to me… he can come find me.” She settles on, turning back around and heading on her way.

The medical building was buzzing; people everywhere with problems, waiting for one of the healers to show up. There was a group just about to head to the castle when she arrived and they all seemed greatly relieved.

It was about 2 hours later, while Clarke was completely immersed in her work that Nyko and Lincoln finally showed up. Clarke hadn’t seen Lincoln in quite a while, since they left the castle over a week ago. She knew he was tending to things there.

He smiled warmly at her and she gave a tight-lipped smile back as she wrapped someone’s arm up.

“Good, you guys are here. There’s a lot to be done.” She gestured to the group of people still waiting.

They got to work quickly, but she doesn’t miss the look the two healers give each other.

 

Clarke finally gets to breathe as she steps out of medical into the mostly empty street mid day. Nyko and Lincoln made her leave so she could eat. She’d argued at first but-

“Go, Clarke. Bellamy will have my head if he finds out you didn’t eat all day.”

He’s probably right, and she couldn’t be bothered to argue at the moment so she agrees.

Her day has finally gotten to a point where she thinks she’s feeling okay. Maybe she’s overthinking everything with Bellamy. She doesn’t know what’s going on. Then anger threatens her again. _Why doesn’t she know what’s going on?_ No. She needs to give Bellamy the benefit of the doubt; a chance to explain. Whatever he was so angry about could be a fresh problem. She’ll wait until she gets to actually talk to him privately.

She made her way to the centre of the village and got an apple and a small portion of bread at one of the stalls, and also a small knife that had caught her eye.

She put the food in her pack and played with the knife in her hands all the way to the large building they normally eat in.

She’s snacking on her bread and just starting to cut up her apple. Her thoughts are on how much she’s starting to miss her friends, particularly Raven who she realizes she hasn’t seen in over a week now. That’s when he walks in, looking like there’s a fire burning in his eyes. His dark head of curls scanning the room until he finds her, sitting at the back corner by herself. He starts to make his way over, and he stands by the table while she ignores his presence. He huffs and then sits down across from her.

“Mind explaining yourself?” He bites in a low voice, trying not to be heard.

Her eyes snap up to his, her body stilling just as she finishes cutting a piece of the apple that falls to the table.

“Excuse me?” She leers at him, eyebrows raised in question.

“This morning. I needed to talk to you.”

“Ooooooohh,” She drawls in mock. “Now you want to talk.” She gets looks from 2 or 3 people, and goes back to cutting her apple when Bellamy looks around irritated and making sure no one hears them. He leans closer to her.

“Yes, I do. What the hell, Clarke? Why are you ignoring me?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” She mumbles, her eyes never leaving her hands as they work.

He lets out a large sigh.

“I’m sorry.” He spits out not sounding even a little bit of the sort. “For last night.” He tries again, still not quite enough. Clarke rolls her eyes. _What is happening?_

“Why are you mad at me?” Her voice comes out in a challenge.

“I’m not-“ He cuts himself off and adjusts himself in his seat. “I’m not mad at you.”

Her eyes roll up towards him giving him a look of disbelief before returning to the apple, and nothing in her could be convinced that he wasn’t right now.

“I’m not. I’m just… there’s a lot going on.” He concluded.

“Maybe I should come to some of your meetings, figure out what’s going on so I can help-“ She gets cut off.

“No. No, it’s fine. I have it handled.”  
That’s when she starts to lose it. She leans in an inch closer, clenching the apple and her knife. She’s afraid if she has a spare hand she’ll use it to punch him. Her voice is quieter, but stern.

“I’m not _stupid_ , Bellamy. Whatever is going on, is being kept from me. Whatever is going on, affects not only me, but my people, too. All of them.” She closes her eyes for only a second. “So I’d suggest you stop lying to me and let me be apart of this.” He looks truly pained, but annoyance takes over before he speaks, defensive.

“You are apart of this. And I’m not lying to you, so don’t even try that, Princess.” Her eyes fly up to meet his dark ones when he spits the name like a curse and that’s what does her in. She stabs the knife into the table, causing Bellamy to jump back a bit. Every eye in the room is on them now, but she can’t take hers off of Bellamy’s. His finally shift, wide, from the knife back to hers. She’s sure her eyes aren’t any better than daggers themselves.

People quickly try to go back to their own business (most likely talking about the royal exchange) and her voice comes out with complete malice.

“I refuse to be pushed to the side, Bellamy. I am not just a stepping-stone for you. If I am Queen, I’d like to act as such. When something happens, I deserve to know.” He winces. “Now would you care to explain what last night was about?”

He sits in that for a minute, thinking about where to go from here.

“Not here. You do deserve to know, but we’ll have to talk later.” He stands up, and she feels instant hurt and anger, although she wouldn’t admit to the first, so she channels it into the second.

“I need you to trust me,” He has the audacity to say. She huffs a laugh in sarcasm and pulls the knife out of the table pretending to be unfazed.

“Clarke... I’m sorry.” This time he sounds more genuine. But he’ll have to prove that.

“Just go, Bellamy.” There’s no anger in her tone, just tiredness. It seems the sudden emotions and the sleepless night before is all starting to hit her now.

He nods, hesitates, and then goes.

 

She lets the rest of her day be busy, even despite Nyko and Lincoln telling her they have things covered.

She won’t leave though, and tells them as such. At home she knows she will be left to her own thoughts and self-destruction. She leaves that part out.

They talk about how Raven is really starting to get thing’s going in the castle, specifically the medical room.

“Can’t wait until you come back, Clarke.” Lincoln says, “It’s all so incredible. You’ll have to teach us about everything.”

Clarke is excited too, and she realizes she can barely wait to be back at the castle and figure out how all the new medical equipment works. She loves the village but she misses her friends, sparring, and visiting Dyaus.

As the sun is starting to set she notices the two other healers starting to look out at the sky with stressed faces. Normally they would be back at the Castle already, but today has been crazy busy. She feels a little jealous if she’s being honest… somewhat wishing she could just go to the castle without Bellamy and have a night to herself and talk to Raven. But she promised Nona she would stay to help and she’s not about to go back on her word.

“You guys go back. It’s getting late.” She tells them earnestly.

“Oh no, we’ll help clean up here first.” They both insist, but Lincoln is still staring out the window with his brow creased.

“You guys. Go. I got this.” She shoves Nyko toward the door, taking a jar of medicine from his hand. “Seriously. Lincoln, Octavia will probably kill me if you aren’t back by nightfall, and then Bellamy will kill you because he can’t kill her for killing me.” He gives a laugh and looks at her questioningly. She raises a brow in return and he nods his head to the side, deciding that she’s probably half right.

“Alright.” He gives up, setting his stuff down and joining his friend in the entryway. “Thanks Clarke.”

 

Clarke takes her time. She’s been thinking too much and her mind keeps going in circles which makes the clean up time take forever. She keeps forgetting what she’s doing and starting new tasks in the middle of her current ones. If she doesn’t get her thoughts under control she’s going to really lose it.

It’s about an hour later when she’s finally able to start thinking clearly, and the place is actually looking half decent now. She’s probably done more than she should, but she’s not quite ready to deal with Bellamy yet, so she stays put.

There’s a loud shout outside the building and Clarke spins on her heals at the noise just as a man bursts into the entryway.

“Wanheda! Oso gaf sis au! Nona is giving birth!” _We need help!_  The man is frantic; his eyes are wide and fearful.

It only take’s Clarke a split second to process, instantly falling into doctor mode.

“ _Shit._ Okay. She needs to be brought over!” She calls over her shoulder as she starts collecting everything she may need.

“No. She is too far in. She’s already pushing, she can’t move.” He says worriedly. Clarke curses again under her breath but grabs their medical bag and throws everything inside before she’s out the door running in the direction of Nona’s hut. The sounds of a woman in pain become louder as she approaches.

 

She barges into Nona’s hut and instantly gets to work. There are already two women there who are helping to hold her hands and her legs; both looking worried and scared.

“Her water broke already!” One of them shouts to Clarke.

It wasn’t often that birth went well on the ground, never mind a breech birth. She’s in between a contraction right now, trying to catch her breath frantically.

Clarke grabs the disinfectant from her bag and pours it over her hands.

“Get the towels from my bag!” She yells to the man who followed her in.

She places herself accordingly and checks on the woman’s progress just as another contraction hits. Clarke’s hand darts to her stomach and she can feel the tightening. She can also feel that the baby is still breech.  
“I need you to breath properly okay, Nona? Like we talked about. Don’t fight the urge to push, just push as hard as you can, okay? I’m here now to help.” She assures the woman as she nods at her frantically in understanding, sweat making her long hair stick to the sides of her face.

Her contraction ends and Clarke is able to see the baby now. Bum first. That’s good. Better than feet first.

Active labour means she won’t have enough time in between contractions to gain herself back and – yep – there it is. Another contraction and Nona screams again.

“Push, Nona, push!” She does so and Clarke see’s the baby move more.

“Yes! Good job, we’re making progress! Keep pushing!” She does well until the contraction ends and Clarke keeps reminding her to breathe.

It’s only seconds later that another comes and Nona’s scream is turning muffled as she pushes hard, she’s starting to breathe better now.

“Okay Nona, Bum is almost out! Keep doing what you’re doing!”

Her hands are assisting in the swollen areas through contraction after contraction, the bum is _almost_ out and Nona is doing surprisingly well at keeping her panic to a minimum now. It’s helping her focus and she’s starting to get into the rhythm of when to push and how to breathe through it.

 _Finally…_ The bum is out and Clarke can slip her hand’s around the thighs to help pull. She waits for the next contraction and with a huge push from Nona, the leg’s come free and the torso and shoulders follow shortly after.

“All that’s left is the head now, okay Nona?! You are doing incredible! Keep pushing hard!”

She looks up to check on Nona and she’s looking off, really off. Clarke points to the bowl by the bed just in time for the woman beside her to grab it and put it under Nona’s chin. Barely anything makes it’s way out as she’s puking, all just bile.

Another contraction hits and her breathing’s thrown off, she’s not putting focus into the push and there’s no progress. Nona throws her head back into her pillow. And her breathing is frantic again.

“Nona! Look at me!” Nona starts to cry. “It’s okay, we’re so close! You can do this!”

Clarke is trying to encourage, hands still wrapped around the baby’s body. She notices Nona’s bleeding quite a bit. Her head comes forward to look Clarke in the eye, tears streaming from her tired face.

“Ai na nou,” _I can’t._ She cries. “Ai na nou.” _I can’t._

“Yes, you can. You’re almost there Nona. Breathe.” Clarke’s voice is still and strong, and she’s trying to will some of her own strength to the woman.

The next contraction starts to crawl. And Nona begins to get a handle on her breath. Her sudden strength amazes Clarke.

“Okay here we go. Look at me. Look at me, and Push! You are strong!”

She does, and she pushes hard; the baby’s head starting to move.

Someone enters the hut then, and Clarke pays it absolutely zero mind until she hears the familiar voice.

“Clarke?!” Bellamy yells in exasperation.  
Clarke ignores him, busy with the task at hand.

“I sent for Nyko as soon as I heard!”

“Well he’s not gonna make it!” Clarke almost laughs.

The head is coming. Nona’s scream drowns out whatever Bellamy’s reply is as it get’s to the largest part of the head, and she pushes hard once more. Then –

The baby cries.

_Relief._

Clarke didn’t even look in all the stress of things, but she does now, as she’s handing her the baby.

“It’s a girl!” She says, handing her off to Nona. It’s just as well, because the rush of everything is making her a little lightheaded.

“Ai fyucha gada.” _My baby girl._ The woman cries as she cradles the baby close. The man who’d gotten Clarke is beside Nona in an instant, crying over her and kissing her head as he murmurs things to her in his language. Clarke takes in the sight and she’s noticed now that there are tears in her own eyes.

She pulls herself together and continues. She grabs the towels to help clean her off and wrap her up. The baby is crying well – which is good. It means there’s no fluid left in her lungs, which she tells Nona and the man.

She lets them have a short moment before she tells the tired women that she has to still deliver the placenta. It goes well, no ripped pieces. That’s good.

After, she gets her supplies and stitches her up.

 

Everything is a little crazy. She’s forgotten that Bellamy was here, and she looks around now, but he’s not there. Clarke congratulates Nona and steps out of the hut with the disinfectant and a small rag to wash her arms up.

 

She sees him standing there appraising her with a look she’s not sure what means. Some people are standing further behind him in the street talking amongst themselves about the birth. Clarke thinks that birth here doesn’t just involve the healers and the parents. Everyone wants to help in the miracle of life. It was never like that on the Ark. There were different connotations to having a child in space.

“What?” She finally asks. She means it to sound sour, but it doesn’t. She’s too relieved at having delivered the baby safely. He takes a step closer to her, but still keeps his distance.

“You were incredible.” He breathes.

Well, that’s not what she expected.

Clarke doesn’t quite know what to do or how to react to that, his eyes are still focused on her. All of his tension and anger seems to be gone now. She nods at him, only meeting his eyes for a second. She disinfects her hands and starts to clean herself up, still confused by the sudden change of tune. Maybe it’s stubborn, but she doesn’t want to accept this right now. There’s more to it, and she can’t ignore it.

He takes another step towards her and his face looks hurt.

“Clarke, I need you to tell you someth–“

“Don’t.”  She finally looks at him, _really_ looks at him. “I can’t right now, Bellamy.” Her words are broken with exhaustion.

He stares back, he fucked up, and he’s aware.

“I misplaced my anger, Clarke. I’m sorry.” His voice is filled with unrest and it breaks on the last word. He looks like he wants to reach out to her.

“You misplaced your anger.” She repeats his words with a little vile and a little mock. She lets out a small laugh at the thing that’s not funny and it kind of makes her feel sick. He takes a step closer to her still, now coming right up to her and she cant help but step away, making him freeze in his tracks.

“I can’t trust you right now. I’m not getting the whole truth.” She states matter-of-factly, trying to come off as composed so she won’t lose it.

“Then please let me explain, Clarke. At least just give me a chance!”

“No.” She cuts off his pleading. “Not tonight.” Clarke almost breaks when she see’s all the previously restrained emotion starting to bubble up in him, he looks physically pained. She has to look away, but she’s more relaxed when she continues.

“I just assisted in getting that baby into the world, and I’m going to stay for a few hours to make sure they’re both okay. Alright?”

He took a step back from her and nods in understanding despite the hurt that still lingers on his features, and she was thankful that he knew her that well; to know when to back off.

“And then I’m going to grab my stuff and head back to the castle.” She added on.

Concern took over the expression on his face now.

“Clarke, it’s late. Don’t do that...” He’s not being rude, just worried.

“I need some space.” She reasons.

He looks like he wants to argue, really argue about it. But to utter astonishment, he doesn’t.

“At least let me come with you, then. I’ll give you your space, just… I don’t want you to get hurt.” He sounds slightly panicky. Clarke’s eyes fall his torso and is reminded of the animals this island holds. Although she’s fairly certain Manuel could come with her, she thinks twice about saying so and decides to let it be. She pauses for a moment more.

“Okay.” She agrees, and he nods back, grateful.

She’s moving towards the hut again when he joins her and she looks at him over her shoulder. He looks awkwardly between her and the hut.

“Actually, why I came in the first place, uh…” He stammers a little, “I have to prick the baby’s foot. Check to see if she’s a nightblood.”

Clarke’s not paying attention to the face she’s making but it must have been something off because he continues strained.

“I can come after you leave, if you want… I don’t want to crowd you.”

She shakes her head.

“No… no it’s fine. Do what you need to.” She assures.

He starts to walk in and before she can stop herself she grabs his arm, and he turns around immediately looking pleasantly surprised at the contact. It takes her a moment longer than she’d like to find her words, but he waits patiently.

“… It’s not that I need space from you specifically, Bellamy. I just… I need to keep my head in reality, you know? And being wrapped with you this last week has kind of brought me out of it. Which was…” She lets her self smile a little, “Nice. But… It’s not how I want it all the time. I don’t want to be blind by choice. From here on out I want you to involve me. In whatever this is… I need to be involved.” She finishes sternly.

He nods, silent with understanding, and they go inside.

 

It turns out the baby is not a nightblood, and even though the island is meant to be a safe place – an escape from that – Clarke can’t help but notice Nona’s relief at the news. She notices the same look on Bellamy’s face. He knows well the hardships of the commander’s blood. He wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

They gather their things and head back to the castle and there is barely a word spoken between them the entire time.

They get back to the castle and Bellamy seems to know that she’s not going to their room. He stops her in the hall before her old room and he plants one firm kiss to the top of her head. It lingers.

 

Clarke knocks on her old door, Raven’s door now, and waits a moment before she hears.

“Come in!”

She opens up the door and the brunette looks her up and down in surprise.

“Clarke! You’re back!” She looks like a heavy weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

“I’m back.” She hardly gets to say before Raven’s gripping her up in a big hug.

“Good god, Clarke. I have _really_ needed to talk to you. You have no idea. This whole week I’ve been going absolutely crazy trying to keep this to myself because I know it’s what you would want and I have still barely been able to process it –“

“Woah, Raven! Slow down. What are you talking about?” Whatever her own problem was, she’s forgotten all about it now. “Start over.”

Raven lets out something between a sigh and a groan and drags her over to the bed to sit.

“When me and Roan went to look for parts…” She pauses too long – the look on her face worried and full of confusion and fear.

“What, Raven?!” She urges.

“I found something.” She says, and turns to go into her dresser. She pulls out a black shirt that’s wrapped up and Clarke is just very confused now. She comes back to sit on the bed and hands it to Clarke.

It’s heavy. She unfolds the shirt to find a circle plate. It’s a very familiar metal… one she’d recognise the feeling and colour of anywhere. The paint on it is worn but still very recognizable; the old Brazilian flag, from before the bombings.

It only takes a split second for her brain to catch up to where Raven has probably been for the last excruciating week.

“Mecha station…” Clarke breathes in disbelief.

Raven nods in confirmation, her world of emotions barely being held together. It was Raven’s station; Finn’s too, and she would know it better than anyone.

“Do you think…” No. _It couldn’t be._ Her throat is getting tighter now and she’s starting to feel lightheaded. “Is there another explanation?” She breathes.

Raven opens her mouth to say something but no words come out, she just shrugs as a tear finally spills over.

Clarke’s breathing gets heavier; her emotions grow stronger in her throat; her blood pumps faster.

Could it actually be possible? _Was the Ark on the ground?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did everyone think?! Leave kudos and a comment if you are enjoying! I really love love reading all your comments, even though I don't reply to all of them! It makes my day!! :D  
> Twitter- @AtiaJoyR  
> Follow me for updates, a whole lotta Bellarke, and I'd love to interact with you guys!


	15. The blood that binds us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - Description of a panic attack and fainting.
> 
> Sooooooo... This took forever. Please forgive me.  
> A little sprinkle of angst because this is what I live for. This is probably the most italics I've ever used in a chapter.

Chapter 15 – The blood that binds us

 

 

Was it really possible? Was this something that was happening?

She couldn’t focus, couldn’t hear – she felt nauseous.

 

Raven’s voice finally burst through her fog.

“Clarke! Lay down, you look like you’re about to pass out!”

Clarke does what she’s told without thinking about it. There’s silence for minutes more; or maybe it was seconds… It could have been hours; it all felt the same to her right now.

 _How was this possible?_ She wasn’t sure if she said that out loud or not. It’s like her brain was short-circuiting. And then slowly, or maybe all too fast, the puzzle pieces started coming together. The exodus ship… they’d only seen a few body parts. Something Clarke had tried to forget the moment she’d seen it. If it had been carrying everyone they would have seen a lot more.

But that wasn’t the thing that got her, because they already knew that. What got her was that the exodus ship and the drop ship – neither of them had the plates on them that the stations on the Ark did. The plate she was holding now, it was specific to Mecha Station. Which meant it _had_ to have come from the Ark.

At the drop ship before they lost communication there had been talk of an uprising, she remembers now. Her mother had sounded scared. That must have been the group that came down, too inexperienced to do what was needed for a safe landing.

Clarke tries to get her voice out but it barely registers as a whisper.

“Do you… you think maybe…” She has to swallow the lump in her throat. “ _They’re alive?_ ” Her own voice sounded thick and too quiet.

Raven shakes her head frantically and shrugs; desperate for an answer herself.

“I don’t know, Clarke!” Her friend whispers back, voice full with panic now and tears starting to gather in her eyes. “I found it washed up on the beach so they could have hit water, or just had a hard landing on the earth. But if they are…” She didn’t finish. She didn’t have to; _If they are… what does that mean for us? Will Bellamy and the council think that we’ve lied? Will we be banished – or worse?_

A new panic grew in her, one that made her feel more nauseous. She’d have to tell Bellamy. And on the chance that he decides to believe her, then she’d have to fight to get a party out to search.

More panic.

_Would he even let us go looking for them? Would he let them join his people?_

Thought after thought stabbed at her mind, each one hitting her like a punch to the gut, and it was too much.

Her breath was heavy and she felt really hot and cold all at once. Her vision began to blur into shadows and everything was a thick haze that she couldn’t break free from. Her body felt too tense. Sound was too far away except for the ringing in her head growing louder and louder by the second.

She was only vaguely aware of Raven’s arms reaching for her, but her skin felt numb.

Everything went black.

 

-

 

 

When she woke it was slow; dreary. Her mind didn’t quite comprehend much of anything other than the immediate comfort capsuling her body. She opened her eyes and noticed it was very dark out, but she recognized that she was no longer in the same place.

She was in a familiar room… but one she hadn’t seen in what felt like forever now.

She stretched her limbs out experimentally and her arm ran into something she hadn’t seen there before and she let out a little gasp of surprise.

The dark lump lying on the bed next to her was instantly awoken.

“Clarke…” Bellamy breathed, relief soaking her name as he spoke it.

Clarke sat up a little and her eyes went wide. She started to feel panic again. _Did I really pass out?_

“Raven panicked and called for me. We brought you here. I’m so glad you woke up. Are you okay?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He reached for her cheek and twisted his body closer to lean his forehead to hers.

_Yep._

She embraced his arms half-heartedly in her confusion, but that’s all she could do. She briefly thought he was doing it more for his own comfort than hers.

She wanted to speak, to say something, anything; but no words could make it past the swollen feeling in her throat.

“I should go get Nyko or Lincoln…” He whispered into the air between them. All she could manage to do to express how much she _did not_ want that was to squeeze his arms tighter and shake her head ‘no’ a little too rapidly against his.

He took a moment before conceding with a small nod and a sigh, and then he tugged her a little closer.

It’s like she wasn’t even alive right now. It felt as though she could just lie down and sleep for a thousand years or however long it would take for her to comprehend things and feel normal. What even was normal anymore?

It felt like the world had a vendetta against peace. It was starting to feel like it would be impossible to ever attain for long. She felt defeated. Tired.  

Her mind’s wandering stopped in its tracks the moment he pulled back just enough for his desperate eyes to meet her fearful ones.

“Clarke. Take a breath.” It sounded more like he was pleading with her as his thumbs started soothing lines on her cheekbones.

She had to tell him – explain; but how?

“I-“ She tried to speak, it wasn’t working.

“Stop, just breath, Clarke. You’re okay. I just need you to breath, okay?” He assured her as he pulled her into his lap and hugged her tight. She wasn’t opposed to it. The pressure of his strong arms wrapped around her seemed to be just enough to finally break from her fog so she could breath properly. The amount of air she was finally able to take in was almost painful, but it felt good.

“See?” He smiled light heartedly.

In this moment she was beyond thankful for him – for his silent understanding of her and her needs. It was as if he was connected to her mind. But she knew he wasn’t, because otherwise he’d know about the Ark, and who knows how he’d be after that.

Clarke clung back to him, wrapping her arms around him and tucking her chin into his neck. She opened her eyes and saw the moon – bright and big as ever – staring back at her through the open window. It demanded to be seen. It instilled a sense of urgency back into her. Like it was calling to her on behalf of the Ark. Last week she would have been content sitting in the castle for all her life, just living on this huge island and never looking back on the rest of the world. Now, she stared at the stars while Bellamy rocked them slightly, but she didn’t notice. All she could think about were the people who could very possibly be on the ground right now.

Were they _her_ people? That she wasn’t so sure about. Maybe…

One thing she knew was that they were her people’s people. And if nothing else, that meant something.

 

And then the breathing turned into something else. Tears. Not of panic; not of fear or anger but just… just exhaustion. She tore her eyes away from the sky and hid her face in Bellamy’s neck.

Bellamy noticed her tears right away and held her even tighter. His arms were wrapped all the way around her torso and his hands settled on either side of her waist where he was rubbing back and forth, trying his best to help and probably not to ask his own questions.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He whispered, not breaking their contact.

Clarke thought about it for only a second before deciding very firmly.

“No.” She breathed as she melted into him a little more and taking one last breath to halt her slowing tears and take back her emotions.

She used the ability she had gotten quite good at to push everything down. All her feelings and questions, her knowledge of the Ark and the people who could be alive… her mom… all of it pushed away.

But this time she knew it wouldn’t stay that way. Not for long.

“Tomorrow.” She decided out loud. “I need to sleep.” And it was true.

He looked at her and pressed his lips together in an understanding smile, his brow furrowed.

At that, they both moved to lie down and Clarke let him pull her close into his chest, letting the pure comfort and consolation be enough for her to fall into unconsciousness. But she wouldn’t have needed it anyway… the last 24 hours were too much, emotionally.

She was fast asleep within seconds.

 

-

 

When she woke it was in the exact same position. Bellamy’s arms were wrapped around her the same, only a little looser now in his sleep.

Shockingly, she felt rested. It felt like it had been 12 hours, and judging by how the sun looked in the sky, she probably wasn’t wrong.

 _The sky._ Last night it was like the moon was calling her to her people; a big old reminder of everything. And now the vastness in the open air was doing the same thing. Urging her on and making her dive into the feelings she’d pushed down the night before.

She tucked herself a little more tightly into the broad chest beside her so she couldn’t see the sky and she focused on the sound of his heart beating steadily under her.

How would she tell him?

She came back into herself. The same self who’d been sent down to earth and who tried her best to keep her people alive; the one who didn’t have time to think on her own feelings – only to make decisions with the facts and to do it wisely and quickly.

It was… Comforting. She didn’t expect that. But while Bellamy slept she formulated and compartmentalized and decided that the blunt truth was probably the best and _only_ way that this conversation would work.

She didn’t quite know if she wanted to see them. The people she used to know, they were question marks in her head. But she knew that the 47 who came here with her would want their families and friends, without a doubt. If they were alive they were probably looking for the 100; they wouldn’t give up hope searching, she knew that. The 47 would be no different once they knew, so she wouldn’t either.

Even if she wouldn’t do it for herself, she would for her people.

They would have to find them, hopefully… with Bellamy’s help.

As though he did actually have access to her thoughts, that’s when he woke up. His arms tightened around her in a hello and she reciprocated, unable to help herself when she dropped a small kiss to his chest. Maybe this would be the last time she’d get to do that. Maybe he’d think of her as a traitor after this, or a liar.

But she had no choice. And she had to make herself do it now, first thing.

“I have to talk to you.” She spoke firmly but barely above a whisper.

He stilled only a little and then looked down at her when she looked up at him.

“Okay.” He whispered unsurely. Nervously – she thought.

She gave one last squeeze to his chest, and hoped with everything in her that it wouldn’t really be the last. That he wouldn’t hate her forever for this information. That he’d understand and know she hadn’t been lying to him.

Yes, the last 2 days had been hard and tense between them, but… she felt for him. She didn’t know what that feeling was yet, but it was strong. Something that she realized seemed to have always been there, deep in her bones, from the moment she saw him.  
But she had to set it aside and focus now.

She sat up slowly and surely, leaning against the large wooden backboard of the bed.

Bellamy followed with a look that confused Clarke a little. But she couldn’t focus on that now, either.

“Bellamy…” She made her eyes meet his and she wanted to cry. “I – I don’t know how to say this, but just… hear me out.” She reached out and took his hand from in front of her. “And know; _please_ know… that _I am telling you the truth_. I wouldn’t lie to you. I’ve never lied to you.” She let her words sink in with a moment of silence and Bellamy eventually nodded in understanding. He was still looking at her so strangely.

“Do you remember the day I arrived? Our first talk?” She didn’t know that’s where she would start until the words were already out. He nodded. She was strong; she knew that now, but not quite strong enough to look him in the eyes while she spoke.

“You asked me what would happen… when the rest of our people came down. I told you for a fact, that they wouldn’t.” She was silent for a few more moments debating her next words. Curiosity got her and she glanced up to Bellamy’s dark features.

She couldn’t explain the look on his face. It was almost like anguish. It made her feel a little sick. But she continued, looking down to her hand that still held his.

“Raven… when she went with Roan to look for parts, she found something. It was a crest off of the Ark from the station she was raised on.”

Silence again.

“I think… Bellamy… _I think the Ark came down_.” She still didn’t look at him. “And… _I think they might be alive_.”

More silence. His hand was too rigid now, and it felt cold. It was enough to get her to look at him now, and it was not what she’d expected.

She frowned in confusion but she was sure. He was _crying_. And he looked like he’d just seen a ghost or like his emotional burden just became a thousand pounds heavier. She was familiar with that look.

_But why in the hell is he crying?_

“Bellamy… Why, wha- what is it?” She asked baffled, squeezing his hand, and finding herself growing nervous for his reply.

“Clarke, I’m – _I’m so sorry_. I should have told you so long ago.” His voice was hoarse.

“ _What_?” Clarke asked almost with a scoff, not even knowing what to make of his reaction right now, let alone his words.

“Word spread after you arrived… and-“ Clarke dropped his hand in an instant. It felt as though a brick wall and just fallen on top of her, his words finally starting click.

“Hold on. Are you telling me right now that _you knew_?!” Her words came out in disgust. His eyes met hers with more intent now, eager to be understood and tears dropping out of them. His voice was desperate.

“I sent ships out to confirm, but it took longer than expected. I couldn’t go myself! They were spotted in different territories after you came and some groups were causing a lot of trouble. Lexa and I have been trying to figure out our next move. I swear, I only didn’t tell you because we have to be careful with new alliances. If the clans saw it as too big a threat then they’d start a war. I’m doing what’s best for my people, for the alliance; for you.” He tried to reason. She didn’t let that throw her.

“Wait, too big a threat? _How many_ are there?!” She waited for his answer.

“… A few hundred at least.” He confessed. _Oh my god._

“ _They’re alive_?” She couldn’t stop a tear from falling from her eye.

She whipped herself off the bed to stand and face him, staring at him like she didn’t even know him. And maybe she didn’t.

“How could you not tell me?!” Her voice barely more than a whisper in her hurt.

 “I wanted to, Clarke, I swear.” Clarke just shook her head at him when he got off the bed and made a move to come towards her. He stopped. “I was going to last night but you wouldn’t let me!” That wasn’t good enough.

“ _I knew it_!” She snapped. Any semblance of trying to keep her cool was gone. “I knew you were hiding something from me.” Her face was contorted in pain and disgust and her eyes felt hot.

“Clarke-“ He started to plead.

“How long?” She demanded. He stared back before answering, his face mirroring the pain in her perfectly.

“There were reports the day after you got here, but nothing was ever certain. There was no proof right away.” He spoke quietly.

“ _How long_ have you known, Bellamy?” Her question was barely a whisper. It was more of a demand to know than anything else. He swooped his head quickly from side to side squinting his eyes tightly while he fought with himself. She would have been inclined to feel sympathy toward the hurt and conflict inside himself but right now she was barely containing her own.

“The day of my injury.” He revealed in a whisper.

 

 

Clarke was physically taken back. It was like everything had just fallen out from under her in the last few minutes. All her thoughts and fears confirmed, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, but was really just a few weeks… She felt the hot, agonizing and the torturously heavy weight of anger in her heart return; and it felt broken.

 

 _How could he_?

 

 

-

 

**BELLAMY’S P.O.V**

He absolutely hated himself. Loathed.

From the day this incredible woman had gotten here he felt this fierce urge to protect her. And for the most part, he thought he’d been successful.

He thought he was doing the right thing not just for her but also for his people. And at the end of the day, his struggle came from years and years of putting his people first.

That’s what he’d done. He kept telling himself that she’d _have_ to understand that. She’d done the same thing over and over again. Hell, that’s the entire reason they were married in the first place, or that she’d even come to him.

But he just felt like his earth had shattered around him. His only warmth and sincerity, safe place and person; she would hate him now.

 

She had left his room. Maybe the castle, he wasn’t sure. He had found one of his guards and asked him to keep a close eye on Clarke for protection, but to give her space. She would need it after the damage he’d done.

He thought of how scared she looked, how afraid and tormented her features were while she told him, thinking that this would fall badly on her or her people.

It made him sick.

He couldn’t bring himself to go to breakfast and act like everything was fine. It wasn’t.

Octavia came to see him and he sent her away after a brief explanation. He told her everything she should know in case Clarke decided to talk to her.

His food was sent to his room for lunch and he sent it away. The thought of eating was enough to make him feel ill. Really, he didn’t need the thought of food to make him feel that way, though; his own thoughts were getting that job done real well.

So he sat by himself and he thought. He asked himself questions and tried to reason with himself as his mind went in circles and his heart continued to sink more and more with every memory of Clarke’s torment.

 _He didn’t want to hurt her_. That’s the last thing he wanted.

But here they were.

He was cursing himself for going off on her the other day at the cabin and in the village, for setting this whole thing in motion.

There was so much she didn’t know though, and that’s ultimately what gave him even a little bit of comfort in convincing himself he’d made the right move. For his people, this was the right thing to do.

There were reports that one of the sky groups was going to war with small outlying villages. Lexa was trying to keep it all under control and keep order over the clans who wanted to defy her and attack already.

The truth is, they didn’t know what to do with these new people. They seemed divided and very different. One group seemed to be trying to make peace and the other, deadly and angry. But apparently they were being picked off rather quickly.

He didn’t want to tell Clarke that either.

He had received word yesterday when the ship came in that Lexa would be moving up her visit. She should be here any day and they would decide what to do.

Bellamy hoped with everything in him that maybe once Clarke talked to Lexa and heard it from someone who didn’t directly hurt her that she’d understand. Until then… he’d just have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Even if he couldn’t see Clarke.

 

 

Dinner came and he couldn’t ignore the pain in his stomach any more. He slipped into the kitchen undetected and found some bread, but it’s all his stomach could take.

He wondered if Clarke would come back tonight, and if she did… well that just led to about a thousand more questions. Would she talk to him? Would she sleep in their room? Should he talk to her? Had she started to tell people? Would this effect the alliance? Would he be forced to take action? But as he walked back to his room, something told him no. He knew her, he trusted her. He thought backhandedly that he should have known to trust her sooner than now. She’s so smart and if he’d just come clean about it… maybe she would have worked with him. But this was also her family and friends. She is Wanheda, after all. She is mighty, and maybe her people were too, although he doubted to the same extent. He hated himself for even letting his mind think about her in that way, he knew how much that name haunted her.

He hoped that within the time he’d been gone from his room that maybe she would come back. It was getting dark out and he was beyond worried. He knew though, that he would be notified if anything happened. Even so, he ordered one of the guards to go find them and relieve the other of his duty, instructing that he come back and report to him. He almost felt bad about it. He felt like he wasn’t truly giving her space. It felt like he was spying, but it truly was protection.

 

When he got back to his room, it was indeed, empty.

 

\--

 

He barely slept. He couldn’t. Anguish slipped into his dreams that would haunt him the second he fell into unconsciousness and they were the same thing that drove him into waking up every time.

The attendants brought breakfast to his room, two plates, and he had to tell them as nonchalantly as possible that he wouldn’t be needing the second plate this morning.

Just after the guard came back looking exhausted and he felt awful.

There was nothing really to report. She’d gone to the village, checked on the newborn. She had spent some time in medical and then at the cabin. That’s where she’d slept.

 

None of it gave him comfort or made him feel worse, really. But that wasn’t the objective. The objective was that she was safe, and she was.

 

He forced himself out of his room to check up on things when he knew the castle would be most empty after breakfast.

The village was doing well, mostly. No new deaths. The ship sent out 2 nights ago would be back anytime with hopefully more news.

When it came back, there wasn’t much to go off of. Things weren’t looking good on the mainland and word was spreading of war against all of Skaikru.

He wondered if that meant the people who had become apart of his clan. It couldn’t, people respected blood bonds and knew what they meant – no one here was taking it lightly, so he hoped the 12 clans weren’t either.

This was the downside to being separate; a lack of trust – but it was worth it for what they had here.

 

The day passed slowly, and he still hadn’t seen Clarke. He felt like his soul was missing.

 _It is._ He told himself.

And he only had himself to blame for that. But –

He heard his mom’s voice in his head, telling him, ‘Your sister, your responsibility.’

He heard Lexa’s voice before he went to war, telling him, ‘Your people come first. They always will.’

He heard Octavia at 14, arguing to train with the warriors, telling him, ‘I train for my people. I will fight for my people.’

 

That was life; their people. And he loved them with everything in him. Every ounce of his life, truly – he did.

 

 

When the sky started to change colours he couldn’t help the ache in his stomach, and before he knew it he found himself walking to the dining hall.

There were a few people from the castle and village walking to dinner as well and he was pretty sure they were trying to be friendly and say hello, but honestly nothing was really registering with him, not all the way. He hadn’t seen Clarke all day, and now – fiery or none – he felt like he _needed_ to see her. He hoped that she would be there, that he could at least lay eyes on her. If not – he would let her be.

 

He walked in and there were people everywhere. A loud cheer erupted when everyone saw him and he remembered this was his first official meal at the castle since he’d returned.

He forced a smile and did the same through the crowd, working his way to the front and wishing that he wouldn’t have to sit there. Wishing just this once that he wasn’t King, and that his life had been different. Normal.

But then he wouldn’t have his sister. And he wouldn’t have this place, his people; or Clarke. And _that_ he was thankful for, even if it came with the burden of a thousand metal shields on his back.

He was scanning as he walked and intentionally came by the table that Clarke’s people – his people – normally sat at.

She wasn’t there, but not everyone was in yet.

When he got up to the front Octavia sat in her normal spot two seats down from him, the empty chair Clarke would normally fill between them.

“Did you see her?” He asks lowly to his sister. He doesn’t have to expand on that, she knows who he’s talking about.

“Only this morning, I think she was headed out to the stables but I didn’t speak to her.” He nodded. “Why haven’t _you_ spoken to her?” She pushes.

“She needs space.” He murmurs. “I can’t push her before she’s ready to talk. It will just make things worse.” He looks at his sister. “She needs space.” He repeats, mostly to himself at this point.

He found himself zoning out looking at the chair beside him, wishing to just see her in it.

 _Would she leave? No. And she can’t. This blood bond holds us together. She believes in it._ He thinks with an odd amount of anger and hope.

_She is my soul._

“Bell!” Octavia’s voice jerked him out of his thoughts. “You okay?” She asked, voice softer now and setting her hand on his shoulder.

“I really fucked up, O.” Bellamy’s voice isn’t much more than a whisper; an out loud admission to himself.

“You did what you had to do.” Octavia reasons. That’s not enough for him.

“I could have dealt with it differently, I could have-” He cuts himself off with a sharp inhale and feels like he’s going to break but he can’t. Not in here. All he wants to do is let his face fall into his hands and wallow in this mess he’s made. But that’s not what a King does. That’s not what  _he_ does.

He made a decision. It was the right one. They needed to know what they were dealing with before they could show up and put trust in these people who already seemed to be killing grounders left and right. Clarke was too close to the situation. He knew she’d have pushed to go.

“Bell. Listen to me.” He didn’t look at her. Her hand squeezed his shoulder. “Listen.” She says again before he finally looks and clears his head enough to try and hear her words. She talks slow.

“Yu’s dula’m op radon, you. Yu ste yuj.” Octavia whispers to him, ducking her head to look him right in the eye. _You’re doing the right thing. You are strong._

He shakes his head slowly in contention.

“Ai nou nami yuj.” He confesses in a whisper. _I do not feel strong._

Octavia unexpectedly pushes on his shoulder, hard. It shocks him enough to come out of his own head and really look at her, mouth falling open in surprise and brows furrowed. But when she speaks her voice is calm and firm, not what he’d expected.

“Yu hed op bilaik kru kom noun, fiyanes, en yuj. Ogeda deyon.” _You lead your people with wisdom, compassion and strength. Every day.  _She lets it sink in and then lightly grabs his chin with her thumb and pointer finger like their mother used to do when she really needed you to listen to what she was saying.

“Dison laik nou noseim.” _This is no different.  _She lets her hand fall and Bellamy allows himself to feel a little better. It’s crazy how much Octavia reminds him of their mom sometimes. It makes his heart happy and hurt all at the same time.

Octavia turns back to the table, but is still speaking to him.

“Clarke na get em in. Ai swega yu klin.” _Clarke will understand. I promise._

He wants to tell her that’s ridiculous. Stupid. There’s no way she could know that she’ll understand.

 _No way to know that she’ll truly forgive me._ He thinks.

“Bell.” Octavia shout-whispers. It catches his attention and he looks to her right away, only to see her nod to the side of the room at the entrance. He follows the gesture with his eyes and finds a head of short, _beautiful_ , golden hair making it’s way through the crowd and to her friends.

His sigh of relief is audible.

“Clarke.” He breathes out her name and lets it hang in the air around him, bringing him the comfort he’s been missing since she left. She hasn’t looked to the front of the room yet, hasn’t met his eyes.

“Go to her.” Octavia suggests. He doesn’t take his eyes off his queen who is now talking to Jasper and Monty. She smiles at them, and it has a direct line to the feeling in his chest.

“No.” He shakes his head, looking down at the table now. “She needs spa-“

“Space. Yeah. I got it.” Octavia cuts him off with a roll of her eyes. “Well, if you wont, _I will_.” She declared, pushing her chair back and standing to leave. Bellamy swings his arm after hers to try and stop her but she’s too quick and he misses.

“Octavia.” His voice is gravel and framed with a warning.

“It’s no big deal.” She brushes off as she walks down through the crowd and straight to Clarke.

Bellamy is in a slight panic but he can’t take his eyes away. Can’t stop watching.

Octavia says something to her.

Clarke looks weary and hurt for only a second and then smiles.

They exchange some words. They hug.

A small amount of hope surges through Bellamy.

Clarke ignores his eyes and turns back to the table at the same time Octavia turns to head back.

She sits down at the table and Bellamy’s eyes are on her with a bewildered and questioning look.

Octavia looks at him and wordlessly raises her eyebrows and lifts a hand as if to say, ‘See? No big deal.’

He’s about to ask what the hell she said to her but something stops him.

He feels a slight energy; the kind he gets when he knows someone is looking at him, and he waits a few seconds, trying to prepare himself, before meeting her eyes.

When he does, it feels like a blow to the stomach and a breath after too long, all at once.

She doesn’t look angry. Not completely. She doesn’t look exactly happy either, if he’s being honest.

To his astonishment, she doesn’t take her steady eyes off him and she starts towards his – _their_ – table.

When she gets there and sits… it’s like time freezes for Bellamy.

_She’s right here. And she’s safe._

_Should I talk to her? No. If she’s ready to talk, she will._

The attendants put the food in front of them and the room went quite. He’d almost forgotten.

That was his queue.

He stood and Clarke was only a second behind him, standing up and looking out to the room of her people. His heart ached a little before he continued.

He tried to exude as much power and confidence as he could, which was more now that Clarke was right here beside him. It’s what she was exuding, and its intensity didn’t surprise him for a second.

He gives his short speech and hopes that his voice is clear and steady enough.

“Gon gedanes.” The room repeats after him. And he closes his eyes momentarily in the beauty of it.

Everyone sits and starts talking, and aside from everything going on with him and Clarke, the castle seemed at ease; back to normal.

He wasn’t sure he really wanted to eat at this point, but he didn’t know what else to do with himself and he knew he needed it, so he started when Clarke did.

His own voice surprised him when it left his lips in an urgent low whisper.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Clarke.” He couldn’t help himself. “I was so worried.”

Clarke only nods in response as she stares at her plate and pops a grape into her mouth.

He forces his eyes away from her.

“Tomorrow we are having a council meeting. I will be there.” Clarke declares suddenly to him, still not looking his way. Her voice is sure and almost rehearsed. As if she’s told herself exactly what she was going to say to him ahead of time.

He’s so thrown off by the fact that he’s hearing the sound of her voice that it takes an extra second before he actually understands the words.

“Yes, ai Haiplana.” _My Queen.  _He agrees quickly.

“And me and you are talking after dinner.” She adds on.

He couldn’t be happier to hear that. It’s what he want’s too, what he needs.

“Thank you, Clarke.”

They continued in silence until they were done.

The walk to their room was distant and just as quiet.

The heavy engraved door closes behind them and suddenly their conversation before she left is flooding back.

He makes himself look at her. He knows this won’t be easy.

“So,” She starts suddenly, his eyes drawing to her back as she looks through her dresser. “You will call a council meeting tomorrow. I will be there. And I will be let in on every tiny piece of information there is.” Clarke demands. Her voice isn’t angry at all – it’s cool and collected, but stern as hell. He realizes in this moment he’s a little intimidated of her. This Clarke is the one who could do anything, would do anything. She was intense.

“Sha, ai Haiplana.” _Yes, my Queen.  _His own language just kind of slipped through his lips, but he felt more sincere when he spoke it. “Clarke, I-“

“Is there anything else of importance that I need to know going into the meeting?” Clarke cut him off and the indifference in her voice stung and was a little haunting.

“Lexa will be here any time now to discuss what needs to be done; other than that, no. Everything can be explained tomorrow.”

“Good. Raven is coming too.” She states, and takes some of her larger sleeping clothes – that typically she didn’t wear – into the bathroom to change into. When she came back out her face wasn’t as hard. But it was guarded, and something told him that it wouldn’t go away anytime soon. Just then, his eyes met hers, and he could see the hurt. They stood there with a million words crashing into each other in the air between them. He couldn’t take it anymore and he spoke without thinking.

“Clarke, I never meant to hurt you.”

She paused while she put her clothes away; her body going tense.

“Gon gedanes.” _To unity.  _She says a little forcefully.

He’s taken back and confused.

“What?” He asks softly.

“Unity. You want shared unity within your people and yet… you didn’t share it with me. You _vowed_ trust to me, Bellamy.” His throat feels tight.

“I let fear of your reaction get the best of me, you’re right. I should have… I’m – Clarke _I’m so sorry_. If I could do it over differently I would.” He takes a step forward, and he’s thankful when she doesn’t retreat; but the distance is still too much.

“I never meant to hurt you.” He says again, his throat getting sore now from the restraint. He just wants things to be better.

Her eyes hit the floor. She was holding back.

“I believe that.” She whispered. “But you still lied.”

“I hate myself for it.” He admitted easily. He shook his head to himself. “But I had to. You’re too close to the situation. There was too much happening and you would have wanted to go looking right away.”

She looked like she wanted to deny it… but they both knew it was true.

Clarke went to sit on the side of the bed and looked down at her hands in thought.

“I know that what you did… it makes sense for the 47. For our people.” She murmured in admittance, and Bellamy can see more hurt paint itself onto her features, which she hides by turning her head further away from him.

He walks slowly to his side of the bed and stands there, unsure of himself and what to do with that.

“Bellamy.” She breathes his name, and continues with a gentle voice that could cut through stone with its command. “I, am _not_ , just one of your _people_.” She looks over her shoulder at him, stands, and faces him completely with that look; like she’s about to break. His eyes are hot and he truly hates himself for being the one to make her look such a way.

“Ai laik yu _raunon_.” _I am your person.  _Her words cut through his soul with their truth and he feels physically pushed back at it. His tears start to fall, but it doesn’t waver her. “Ai laik yu _keryon_.” _I am your soul.  _Now he’s the one breaking.

He doesn’t know she’s made her way over to him until she’s there in front of him and he can’t help but look at her with his regret and wish that he hadn’t been put in this situation.

She places a hand over his chest, over his heart, and he can’t help his hand coming up immediately to rest over hers while he breathes.

“Oso keryon ste teina.” _Our souls are entwined.  _She murmurs to him. He closes his eyes and rolls his head back in his anguish. Of course she’s his soul. Of course they are entwined. She twists her hand under his and locks their fingers together as if to prove the point, the back of her hand still pressed against his chest.

“You need to treat me as such, Bellamy… because I am not running away. I am not leaving. This is my home. You.” She’s still looking deeply into his eyes, and it’s like his feelings hit him, his motives to an impossible situation, finally making sense.

He searches her for the truth, and it’s there… completely evident and laid bare in her eyes.

Maybe he wasn’t sure that he’d actually believed it till then, or maybe he’d let his fear guide him a little.

He nodded at her in agreement and brought his forehead slowly down to hers, making sure she was okay with the contact. She leaned in too.

“I will, Clarke. I swear it.” He promises. “I… didn’t truly believe that you’d want to stay if you knew your people came down. I knew you’d want to go after them, and I didn’t know what it would mean for us.”

She brought her free hand up to cup the side of his face.

“I don’t know what it means for our people. I don’t.” She confesses. “But… what I do know, is that this is my home. This place. This castle. The blood that binds us.”

Bellamy looks at her and in a split second its like the rest of the world has gone away. It’s just them. Just this.

“Can you still trust me?” He whispers to her.

“With my life, Bellamy. That hasn’t changed.” He steps in closer to her at that, completely astonished at the strength she continues to show. “But I need to know if you trust _me_. Because we’ll always end up here if you don’t.” She pulls away from his face and looks deeply into his eyes, reaching for understanding and searching for a truthful answer.

One thing Bellamy is good at in his life is being his own worst enemy. He is aware when he messes up and because of his position, he’s used to hearing it from everyone. But he hears it from himself the most. Everything he does, every choice he makes… it weighs on him and it never leaves. But this time… this time he has Clarke who, by some incredible miracle, is standing in front of him and helping him through it like no one else ever has. She’s not just leaving it for him to bear on his own, or to clean up the aftermath, even if it was his own mistake. She’s taking it off his shoulders and sharing the burden. He’s never felt this way with another person, he’s never been able to put his emotions into another person in this way and know that he doesn’t have to be scared of losing them. Or at least, now he doesn’t.

“I do trust you, Clarke. I was lost before but I know I do now.” He lets all his sincerity out in his eyes while Clarke continues to bear into them. She must find what she’s looking for because before he knows it she’s wrapped her arms around him; _and she’s there_. She’s there in a very real way. Like she has always and will always be there. The blood bond holds them there, it always had, but now it’s as if they’re truly connected. It’s scary, he thinks, to feel like this about someone.

Whatever that feeling may be, for once he didn’t fight it. He let it in and let it wash over them both.

“Forgive me?” He whispers into her neck.

“You’re forgiven.” She says easily; and it feels like a damn miracle. It feels like the weight he knew too well was lifted off.

He separates their bodies just enough to press his hand to the expanse of her chest and over her heart.

“Until the end of my soul.” He murmurs, one last tear escaping along with the last of his fear and insecurity.

She follows with her own hand, and places it on his chest in the same way.

“Until the end of my soul.”

 

 

\--

 

When he woke up to the morning sun she was there, wrapped up in him and fast asleep in his arms. They had woken many times like this before, but now, it was different.

It’s like she was a different person. He knew that it was less of her change than him being free enough from his own thoughts to see her this way.

She was like this God. Like this powerful being that was sent to stand by his side and only his. She kept him centered.

It’s like they had been made for each other a million years in advance and now there was nothing that could ever sever their bond.

_Drein au dei tai de op yumi. The blood that binds us._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos and Comment !!!! I love, love, love reading your comments and honestly, they give me life and encouragement to keep going. :)  
> Twitter: @AtiaJoyR


	16. I'm just trying to be brave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... I'm garbage.   
> I am genuinely so sorry that this update took so long, but hopefully now that I don't feel like throwing myself off a bridge I will be back to posting somewhat regularly. :D   
> BUT! I hope you enjoy. SMUT WARNING! I'm getting a little braver. Only a little.

Chapter 16 – I’m just trying to be brave

 

 

 

 

**CLARKE P.O.V**

_“There is no place for time here_

_Just overlapping moments where I thought I’d found you_

_Where I thought I heard the sound of your breath_

_Where I felt your heart as it waited patiently for mine_

_Retracing the steps that we left in the life before last_

_Before our eyes closed_

_Before the great divide_

_Before a doorway stood between you and me_

_As it stands_

_I’ve found myself in that doorway again_

_With both feet in and your heart on my sleeve_

_But I can’t bring myself to walk through this time_

_Not yet at least_

_Not until I take one last look and see that it was you_

_That it was always you_

_Our hearts strewn across those old fragile floorboards_

_The silhouettes of each and every one of our memories_

_Playing out like a story that we both know we’ve seen before_

_I remember now_

_This is where I first found you_

_And beyond those closed doors_

_I will find you again_

_My love_

_I will find you again”_

 

 

She loved it when he read poetry… it made her think of how the world used to be; with nothing left of it now except the writing of people who once felt the things she felt now. Maybe she was always destined to find Bellamy. Maybe it was always him.

 

It wasn’t long before his deep voice had lulled Clarke into sleep entirely.

\--

Sometime in the night she woke up out of breath. Her heart was hurting and she felt cold inside. The burning dark ash of earth and people – people she killed – still threatening her every time she blinked. She turned and saw Bellamy was awake as well. In the moonlit night with dawn still hours away, she didn’t need to explain. He’d woken this same way time and time again. Without words, he pulled her into himself and hugged her tightly, the weight of his arm a welcomed comfort around her.

It would be something they would help each other through for the rest of their lives; she knew that.

She couldn’t close her eyes, couldn’t sleep again… but she could watch the sky.

\--

“Do the stars look different?” Bellamy’s voice breaks through the sound of the night in an unexpected and alarming way, but the raspy gravel in his voice makes her belly turn in the best way, so she was fine with it. How long had it been? She had no idea.

“What?” She was looking outside the windows of their round room, but to be honest she hadn’t truly been focused on it. Her focus was mainly on the way that his thumb was rubbing small circles into the side of her ribs while his large arm remained wrapped around her frame.

“From up there.” He tilted his chin towards the window from behind her, gesturing to the sky.

For once, when she thought about the sky… it wasn’t with regret or anger, hurt or a calling to her people… it’s with a familiarity and happiness she had long thought was deceased from that topic.

How did he do that?

She let out a sigh as she thought, and entwined her fingers with his so she could focus. The little movements on her side were a lot right now. They hadn’t been intimate since everything had happened, and although it felt like they needed it, it felt like they needed _this_ more; the opportunity to just _be_. To talk and learn and fall into things; How they should have been right from the start – no secrets, only trust.

“Yeah, they’re very different.” She turned around to lie on her back so she can look at him and her breath catches for a minute.

It’s stunning how someone can be this beautiful. His hair glowing a dark blue in the moonlight as If he were the one sent down from the heavens, not her.

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes instead, remembering what they were like.

“They’re a lot brighter. There was one corner of the Ark you could go to, it was darker, so we could see the stars the best from there. And – God –“ She lets out a laugh. “They were incredible. On the clearest night here, you could still see a billion more from up there. And sometimes they had colours too. Beautiful light pinks and yellows, the blue was always my favourite though.” She amended.

She kept her eyes shut, and she allowed herself to do something she limited to very small parts of her life since being on the ground.

She just – felt.

She felt for the people of the Ark. She felt for the 100. The grounder army. The lives lost, lives saved, and the ones she found and cared just as much about now.

She felt more than thought about how different her life used to be. But she didn’t feel a longing, or regret. This was better. Her people now, the ones she came down with and the ones on the island, she felt their struggles and their happiness – because she knew it too, in some way or another.

She was truly blessed to have what she did right now, and that was not lost on her.

She felt his lips press against her temple. She was falling asleep, but this time she felt safe.

“Riden os, ai haiplana kom skaifaya.” _Sleep well, my queen of the stars.  _He mumbled into her hair before she fell asleep again.

\--

 A loud banging on the door woke them up quickly. They looked at each other for only a second before the knocking came a second time.

“I’ll get it.” Bellamy said, as he whipped himself out of bed, not bothering with any more clothes than the shorts he already had on.

He opened up the door a little and began talking quietly in his language to the person on the other side. Clarke pulled up the blankets around her and thought about what could be happening this early in the morning.

She knew it must be something important; no one ever came banging on their door for no reason.

Bellamy finished up his conversation and turned to Clarke with a strange look on his face. She knew that look, from the painting, from when he told her about his past.

“Is Lexa here?”

He nodded in response, walking with a purpose to his dresser and pulling out some dark looking clothes that would cover up the beauty of his skin.

“Get dressed Princess,” He peeked over his shoulder and broke his stoic to flash her that smirk that made her weak. “They just caught sight of her boat. We’ll go together.”

Clarke didn’t attempt to hide her smile. That meant she could ride a horse again, although Bellamy probably wouldn’t let her ride Dyaus – but one day she’d wear him down.

She quickly found a dark pair of form fitting pants and a black shirt, and grabbed her favourite jacket that was decorated in all kinds of metal clasps and peices. When she looked in the mirror she thought she kind of looked like a grounder. Not the light and torn clothes they all shared on the ark – they were thick and built for being outdoors. Her hair was the same short wild mess it always was, but she kind of liked it like that. She liked this person; when she looked in the mirror, she felt complete, powerful, beautiful, and strong: Most of all, she felt strong.

She got a glance of Bellamy behind her in the mirror; he was fully dressed now and was rummaging through the royal looking trunk at the foot of their bed. His dark clothes matched hers and he had a thin gold crown on. Did he know how incredible he looked? Probably – this was Bellamy… his own looks weren’t necessarily lost on him, and she couldn’t even scrutinize him for it.

He retrieved whatever he was looking for from the trunk and closed it, hiding whatever it was behind his back and walking over to stand behind her; their eyes not breaking contact through the reflection in the mirror. He had a little grin spread across that freckled face of his and a sparkle in his eye. She couldn’t take hers off of him.

“Ai don som gon yu.” _I have something for you.  _Bellamy murmured. His dark voice was always so mesmerizing.

He was so close but not yet touching, so she leaned back into him – enjoying this moment before what would surely be a chaotic day.

“Chit yu gaf?” _What is it?_

Instead of answering he brought his hands around placed an extremely thin metal band around her head. It had something that hung down slightly onto her forehead. She took a closer step to the mirror and realized it was the symbol of their people – Trikru… Her people.

“Bellamy…” She whispered, touching it lightly. “It’s beautiful.”

The band looked like a thin wire, but it was definitely metal. The symbol was so small you couldn’t really tell what it was unless you were close up.

“I made it a long time ago... If I were to ever enter into a blood bond.” He admitted. “You don’t have to wear it. If you don’t want.”

Clarke spun around and placed her hands at home in the centre of his chest, looking at him as if she’d never be able to again. Maybe this is how she always looked at him… maybe she didn’t know anymore. He had this goofy half smile on is face and for half a second she stared at the scar on his lip, then made her way back up to his deep brown eyes and got lost in them.

“Ai hod em.” _I love it.  _And she did; even though love wasn’t a word she used a lot… she loved it. She turned again to look in the mirror at it; then herself; them... and finally; just him. “I love it so much.”

He smiled back at her through the reflection, and for a moment her own feelings scared her. This feeling wasn’t the power of the blood bond, or obligation or even appreciation… It was… something else entirely.

 --

They walked out of their room side by side, crowns sitting atop their heads, and they looked like powerful equals.

She reminded herself that today both she and Bellamy had the same amount of charge, the same push and sway, as long as they kept on a middle ground of understanding… everything should go well. The only thing that made her nervous as they walked was the thing she had no power over at all. The commander.

At the end of the day, they could say whatever they wanted but the final decision was up to the commander… and that terrified her.

In their room it was always like time was stopped, but today the energy in the castle was different, strong: a little urgent. Maybe it was emanating from her and the man beside her. Maybe it was the nerves of their collected people at having the commander here. She didn’t know, but she felt both.

“We need to get Raven before the meeting. She’s coming too.” Clarke reminded him.

“I’ll send for someone to get her. Let’s try and get to the docks in time first. Raven will be ready by the time we’re back with Lexa.” He looked to her for a confirmation and she nodded in agreement as they walked outside and towards the stables. There was already a small group of people, including some she recognized – Manuel, Roan, Tavin, and a woman named Reeve, who she learned had helped her in the medical room with Bellamy after the hunting party. Clarke called out Roan’s name – the perfect man for the job, really – and asked him to go get Raven up and make sure she was ready for the meeting. His devilish smirk and the gleam in his eye told her he was all too happy to comply.

The air was a little more crisp than usual, and she was glad she had put on her jacket for this. They made their way down to the stables, got their horses (She didn’t even try for Dyaus this time, but she did give him a quick scratch), and were on their way to the dock. As he got up onto his horse, laughing at something Manuel had said, she thought Bellamy looked refreshed… He looked like he had this energy to him that was making her heart beat a little faster than normal. Then before she could think clearly, his eyes met hers. He was still smiling this huge smile and it was something she thought right then that she didn’t see enough of; because it was beautiful.

The timing was pretty much perfect. There was a huge bustle as soon as they arrived, getting everything ready for the people on the ship – the commander – to come off.

Bellamy was off his horse in a second and then beside her to help her down. She swung her leg over and landed right in front of him, and wondered if he’d meant for them to be that close. He took a quick glance over to the boat and then he was focused on her again – his large hands still firm on her waist. She expected him to just move away, but he didn’t… he kept pressed against her, all wired and alive. He was still a little breathless from the ride here, and it was probably only a manner of seconds until Lexa would make her way off the boat, but that didn’t stop his lips from crashing into hers for one last moment: One last reassurance, one last confirmation that they were doing this –

“Together.” Bellamy’s voice seemed to reverberate off the air around them, as if even the universe knew that right now, this word was just for them.

“Together.” She whispered against his lips.

 

They stood side-by-side and waited. The first few people off the ramp were from Polis. She could tell from the way they were dressed and their hair, braided in all sorts of patterns, or from the tattoos they bore. There were a few of their people that got off next, people who would often take the boats back and forth from the mainland to here.

And then it was Lexa, but she wasn’t alone. The huge bearded man from Polis, Gustus, was close beside her. She had been pretty intimidated of him before, but now he just reminded her of Manuel. None of them were that scary anymore – except for maybe the lady on her other side.

“The woman on Lexa’s left-“ Clarke leaned a little closer to Bellamy so he could hear her.

“Indra.” Bellamy nodded in acknowledgment, keeping his voice low like hers.

“Yeah… When we were in Polis I think she wanted to kill me.”

Bellamy let out a low chuckle that seemed a tad out of place given the information.

“Doesn’t surprise me.” He leaned his head over a little closer, still focused on Lexa coming off the boat. “Octavia trained as her second for a few years, but before that Indra nearly killed her in training.” Lexa, Gustus and Indra were off the boat now, and making way over to them.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Clarke whispered sarcastically. Bellamy chuckled once more, and placed his hand at the small of her back as they walked to meet her.

Clarke’s nerves were a little stronger than she wanted them to be at the moment, and she tried to calm herself with a breath.

“Lexa.” Bellamy greeted as they lightly bowed to her together. Lexa nodded back at them. “Indra, Gustus.” He added on, receiving a nod from each of them as well. Clarke was unsure where to look or who to look at, so she settled for the Commander.

“Bellamy.” Lexa greeted back before looking at Clarke. Her eyes grazed over her in an appreciative way, much like they had back in Polis, but fonder this time. “Clarke, It looks as if you’ve adjusted well?” Lexa asked with a taut smile, looking between her and Bellamy. Clarke couldn’t help but glance at Bellamy for a split second to see the smirk on his face, and it made her grin a little.

“Very well, thank you.”

“I heard the blood bond went well. It is done?” Lexa seemed to be asking Bellamy, not her.

“It did. And it is, Heda.” At that, she put her hand out, and Bellamy seemed to know exactly what to do as he placed his hand, palm up, in hers. She examined the pink line that still had yet to turn white. Then she dropped his and held her hand out for Clarke’s. She obliged quickly, setting her hand in hers palm up the way Bellamy had.

The pink slit across her palm matched Bellamy’s. Lexa dropped her hand.

“Very well.” She said, seeming pleased enough with the evidence.

“Why don’t we head back, get our meeting started.” Bellamy suggested, gesturing for someone to bring the extra horses they brought over.

 

The ride back wasn’t as awkward as Clarke thought it might be. She made some small talk with Gustus along the way, who rode closely beside Lexa, never leaving her side.

Once back at the castle, they made their way to the council room where the attendants had placed a few trays of exquisite looking food out for everyone.

Miller walked in behind her and Bellamy made quick to grasp his arm in greeting and bring him into the conversation he was having. Clarke wasn’t too sure when he’d invited him but It seemed like they were becoming something like friends. Raven came in looking a little nervous and immediately made her way to Clarke.

“Umm… what the hell Clarke? You couldn’t have given me a heads up?!” She whispered cocking her head to the side gesturing to Lexa, who was talking to Miller now. Octavia had made her way in as well and was talking rather fondly to Indra. She thought she saw Indra smile for second, something she was sure didn’t happen a lot.

“I didn’t have a whole lot of notice either, Raven!” Clarke whispered back. She probably could have gone to see her, let her in on everything before this, but that’s not how things had played out, so now was as good a time as any. “But hey, you were right. About everything.”

“What?!” Raven exclaimed a little too loudly, attracting a few head turns which just as quickly went back to their conversations. “What?!” She whispered now, inciting a small laugh from Clarke.

“The Ark really did come down. This meeting is for what we’re going to do about it.”

“I knew it. Oh my god, I knew it!” Raven smiled to herself, doing a little fist pump in the air. “Wait, what do you mean what we’re gonna do about it? They’re our people, Clarke. We go find them.”

“It’s… not going to be that simple…” Clarke mumbled. She could tell Raven was about to protest when Bellamy’s voice called attention.

“I think we’re all here. Let the meeting commence.”

Clarke went to take a seat at the table in the middle of the room beside Bellamy, Raven and Miller sat across from her. Octavia winked to her from the other end as a hello, and Gustus, Indra, Manuel and the other elders sat down as well.

“First off,” Bellamy began. “I’d like to welcome our Commander once again to the island. And may we lead this meeting with wisdom and unity. Gon gedanes.” _To unity._

“Gon gedanes.” Everyone repeated after him.

“Now. First thing’s first. As most of you may know by now… The rest of the Sky people have come down.”

Bellamy’s sentence was just barely finished before the room started buzzing with questions. Apparently not everyone did know, because there were some rightly shocked faces around the table, most of all being Miller and Raven.

“How is that possible?” Millers voice cut through the rest of everyone’s voices, his eyes meeting Clarkes in a desperate way. Clarke could practically see the reflection of his father in his eyes, as if she could see what he was thinking. She may not have any family left, but he could.

To Clarke’s astonishment everyone turned to her. Octavia and Lexa were staring at her as if they were both waiting to see how she would handle this, Raven and Miller were an unreadable range of emotions and Gustus and Manuel had this look like they were waiting for her to provide orders or strategy. Everyone else as well, stared with expectancy. Her brain hadn’t quite caught up to the moment though, as she had been expecting someone else to answer.

She forgot for a moment she was Queen. She forgot for a moment how to speak.

“Wanheda?” Lexa urged her. She flinched at the name.

From under the table Clarke felt Bellamy’s hand reach out and grab hers, squeezing it once tightly. She felt a tingle up her arm, and in the same moment all the assurance she needed to continue.

“Well,” She began, clearing her throat and sitting up a little straighter. “We know that the exodus ship crashed, and that there were no survivors, so from the piece that Raven found, we can assume they brought the Ark down instead.” Clarke began.

“How is that even possible though?” Miller cut in before she could continue and looked like he was loosing it a little.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I assume they used the thrusters that keep the Ark in orbit to push it out of orbit and onto the ground.” Clarke explained. No one looked like they understood a word except Raven and Miller. “As for which stations would have made it, we know for sure Mecha station has. There are probably multiple crash sites. Other than that…” She looked to Bellamy who was looking at her with his game face, all business, but she thought she saw a hint of pride flash across it.

“Survivors?” Raven asked. Clarke looked to Bellamy once more and the room felt a little colder in the few seconds of silence that followed. Something told her their silence wasn’t all for the same reasons though. But it wasn’t Bellamy who spoke next. Lexa sat up impossibly straighter in her chair.

“Raven, the piece you found, it washed up on shore?” Lexa asked. Raven looked a little nervous at being called out unexpectedly.

“I – yeah, It did.” She answered shortly.

“Then they landed in, or close to the water. The other one we know for sure has landed in Azgeda territory.” She resolved in a cool voice, void of the personal feelings attached, unlike the Skaikru in the room.

Raven lurched forward in her seat and looked around the table in a panic. Her relationship with Roan proved well that she knew the underlying implements of that.

“Azgeda?” She repeated in a panic.

This was news to Clarke as well, and something in her sunk. This couldn’t be good.

“Yes.” Lexa answered too casually for the mood. “There are still survivors.”

Clarke knew only a little about Azgeda, but one thing clicked.

“The snow.” She found herself saying out loud. Lexa looked at her questioningly. “The snow must have absorbed the impact. That’s why they survived.” She looked at Raven now. “If they survived in the snow, then Mecha station could have survived aswell. If they landed close to, or in the water, it could have had the same effect.”

Clarke and Raven smiled in relief at each other before a low booming voice interrupted the moment.

“Let’s hope not.” Gustus chided. Something ticked in Clarke at that, a fire she hadn’t felt in quite a while. She stared right at the large man who had his head down, and didn’t find herself nearly as intimidated as the first time she came face to face with him. In fact, she didn’t fear him at all now.

“Excuse me?” Clarke’s voice left her lips in a voice that didn’t quite sound like her own. Her jaw clenched.

A quiet overtook the room for a moment while he took a second too long to meet her gaze, looking as if he regretted saying it.

“I only meant, Wanheda, that your people have been out for blood since they landed.”   
“It’s true, Clarke.” Bellamy touched her leg under the table. “The group that landed in Azgeda broke into a war the second they landed. Although we suspect they were not the first to attack.”

“Azgeda is ruthless.” Indra scowled.

“If they have landed in Azgeda, perhaps we let the war take its course. It may not be wise to interfere.” One of the elders said.

“What?!” The sound of Clarke, Raven and Miller’s voices all rang together. Clarke made a fist under the table. “You’ve got to be kidding me –“ Clarke began in protest, stopping when both of Lexa’s hands came up to silence everyone.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, the remaining survivors made it out of Azgeda. They’re no longer in the territory, and we can assume they won’t be heading back anytime soon.” Lexa pronounced. There was a sick feeling in Clarke that wouldn’t go away. She didn’t want to ask, but she had to know.

“How many?” She asked quietly.

“A few hundred, but we aren’t sure exactly how many or where they are right now-“

“NOT… alive, Commander.” Clarke clarified, the sick feeling building in her throat. “How many dead?”

Lexa’s dark eyes met her own and for the first time today she saw something there, sympathy; sadness… but not answers. She looked to Bellamy instead, seeing the same emotions there.

“How many!?” She demanded louder to him. When Bellamy answered his voice sounded dark and broken.

“15 children. 10 adults.”

Clarke let out a broken sound, followed by Miller and Raven. It was quiet then, but Clarke wasn’t done. She was taken back to when they landed, when they were being picked off one by one and lived in constant fear of leaving their walls.

“What is wrong with you people.” Clarke deadpanned, looking at Lexa now, and feeling only anger at the sympathetic look on her face.

“Clarke, every clan is different, we-“

“It doesn’t matter!” Clarke decided, cutting her off and feeling nothing for doing so. “Are we going to look for them, or not.” She asked the Commander. Lexa moved a little in her seat.

“This is where things get… tricky, Clarke.” Lexa started in, and Clarke already had enough of it.

“I’m not fragile, Commander. Give me the facts. My loyalty lies with the King and our people. I, out of anyone, can stay neutral about Skaikru. Believe me.”

She didn’t have anyone to fight for on a personal level. Sometimes she felt so disconnected to the people of the Ark. She didn’t feel like they were her people anymore. Not since she got locked up. Not since they killed her father. But she knew other’s did have family that they wanted to see again, and she couldn’t ignore that.

Lexa looked to Bellamy for a moment and he nodded to her, as if to confirm. She sighed and turned back to Clarke, her face returning to its unfeeling posture.

“Alright then. If your loyalty truly lies with the King, then we should have no problem in sending out a party, but, you need to know the facts first. The group that has landed in Azgeda has been killing more than Ice Nation warriors. Three days ago they stumbled upon a Shallow Valley clan, attacked their village filled with only elders, woman and children. They killed 32.”

_Oh my god._ This wasn’t good. This – well, she knew what this meant. She looked into Lexa’s eyes and she could see what it meant.

“Blood must have blood Clarke. That is our way. This search party will rather serve as a hunt for justice.”

“No, no. We can talk to them first, reason with them-“ Raven spoke up.

“They have proven very well that they are not interested in talking.”

“Then we try something else!” Miller’s voice came next, but it was getting harder to focus, thoughts running through her mind at a million miles per hour.

“The decision has been made; we already have scouts out-“ The rest of Lexa’s sentence became blurry to Clarke. She wasn’t listening at this point, just trying to formulate in her head, strategize.

She hadn’t realized her hand was shaking until Bellamy reached out and grabbed it under the table. She looked up to him.

“Clarke,” He whispered under his breath to her, everyone else still arguing in the background.

“I’m fine, Bellamy.” Clarke squeezed his hand back and took a deep breath before cutting off whoever was just speaking.

“Alright. We bring justice for the attack on the village.” Clarke announced, receiving a sceptical but approving look from Lexa.

“What?! Clarke,” Raven yelled.

“Raven.” She silenced her friend, then turned back to Lexa. “What will we do?”

Lexa looked at Clarke for a few seconds that felt like minutes, appraising and thinking about their next move. Maybe, hopefully, even reconsidering whatever she had planned previously before she came to a decision.

“I’m not unreasonable, Clarke. Your people have knowledge and resources that could be very helpful. And I know all too well the trials of bad leadership. _IF_ this happens to be the case, then we reap our justice on their leader. We’ve heard no such signs of violence from the other Skaikru group, so if they did survive, that will go a long way in my decisions. I will not disregard anyone with a true desire for peace, I can promise you that.”

“Then it’s settled. Any problems?” She asked, turning towards her friends. They both stared back with unsure faces.

“We don’t know who it is, Clarke.” Miller tried.

“Whoever it is, is attacking innocents.”

“You’re lucky we haven’t killed them already.” Indra said from the other end of the table. It stung a little, but she knew it was true.

“What of Azgeda, Commander?” Clarke asked. “They killed innocents as well. Children. Does blood demand blood when they are your own people?”

“Yes. I have a meeting with Queen Nia and her daughter in three days time. Leave the details of that to me.”

It took Clarke a second to consider… But Lexa wasn’t Bellamy. She was the Commander, Clarke didn’t have a say in her decisions.

“Fine.”

“We’ll assemble a team to leave tomorrow with you back to the mainland.” Bellamy announced.

“I’ll be sending a group of my own along with you.” Lexa nodded back.

“I’m on that team.” Raven declared.

“Me too.” Miller added on.

“No, Miller. We’ll need you here.” Clarke reached across the table and took his hand sympathetically. “Besides, you have family out there. We don’t need thing’s getting any messier than they already are.” She added on with a sorry look to Raven… she didn’t have family, she could stay neutral.

Lexa stood and the room went silent.

“It’s decided. Gather your team.” She spoke to Bellamy and Clarke.

Bellamy stood up and reached his arm out towards Lexa and they clasped arms in agreement.

“Pack up. We leave at first light.” Bellamy spoke to the room.

Everyone stood up and started moving around, and Clarke caught Miller before he left the room.

“Miller wait,” she grabbed his arm and he turned around. But she didn’t know what to say to him, couldn’t find the right words. He looked at her and his posture relaxed a little, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Clarke. I understand what needs to be done, I’m just…” He sighed heavily and adjusted his weight, leaning in closer to her and speaking quietly. “My dad is Chief guard. What if it’s him out there?” His voice cracked at the end, holding more emotion in then he would ever care to admit, she was sure.

“You know your father, Miller. Would he kill innocent people? Innocent children?” Clarke reasoned.

“No, he wouldn’t, but we all do what we need to survive Clarke.” Miller murmured. _That_ she couldn’t argue with.

“We’ll all have our answers soon.” She said somewhat dismissively and squeezed his shoulder. “Until then… all we can do is have hope.”

 

\--

Dinner was a more proper occasion tonight since the Commander was here. There was more food, more light and more people. It was a little overwhelming, and Clarke already couldn’t wait to go to bed, which was exactly where she’d be going once dinner was over. They’d spent the day spreading the word, organizing, strategizing and planning. Clarke felt like she’d had the same conversation about a million times at this point, but she was still a little tense from the one she’d had with Finn right after the meeting. He seemed to be the most worked up out of anyone.

 

Bellamy took her hand, and Clarke ended the conversation she was having with Manuel as they stood up from their seats at the front of the room. The smell of candles, food, and the always-there distinct smell of the island surrounded them as they looked out onto the smiling and content faces of their people. She realized in this moment that she was really going to miss this place while she was gone.

“Today we gather, to bond with shared food, and to break the war’s of yesterday with shared unity. Gon gedanes.” Bellamy’s voice boomed as he spoke what he often did for dinner meals.

“Gon gedanes.” _To unity.  _Everyone repeated.

Lexa stood up after from her seat on the other side of Bellamy and the room went completely silent.

“To those we’ve lost… and to those we shall soon find.” She raised her glass to the room. Everyone did the same and then proceeded to cheer loudly before the sound melted into talking and laughing as everyone began to eat.

 

\--

 

**BELLAMY’S P.O.V**

 

They walked hand in hand down the now fire lit stone hallway to their room. Clarke was so deep in her thoughts he thought she was completely unaware of the fact that her thumb kept pressing into his in a repeating motion.

“Are you alright?” His voice came out low and quiet, as if not to disturb the silence too much. As he watched her, he couldn’t miss the way her breath caught at his voice.

“Fine.” She tried to sound nonchalant, but he knew better. He placed an arm around her as they reached their door, and he guided her in shutting it behind them.

He spun her around and backed her into the door, his heart skipping a beat when she looked up at him with a knowing smirk. He moved in impossibly closer to her; leaning in to her neck and placing a long burning kiss to her pulse point, enjoying the sound of her breath catching at the action.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to lie to each other, meizen.” _Beautiful.  _He all but growled into her neck, continuing on with tasting her skin like he’d been wanting to do all day.

“We aren’t.” She giggled back, trying to push Bellamy away and then drawing him back in when he went. His eyes caught hers and stayed there, searching her soul, it seemed.

“Then tell me.” He whispered to her. She gazed back at him for a long moment, searching his eyes and lost in her own thoughts at the same time.

“I just…” She started, and he took a step back allowing her to move now. She walked over to the couch and sat on its edge; Bellamy following close behind her.

“I’m just nervous. I’m nervous to leave and I’m nervous we wont find anything. Anyone. And I’m even more nervous that we will, and what will happen. I know you trust Lexa, and I think I can too, but…” He took her pause to kneel down in front of her.

“But what?” He murmured, taking her hand, which she had just started rubbing incessantly. The look in her eyes was a fight. Something she didn’t want to speak out loud.

“But I’m scared, okay?” She huffed, seemingly frustrated that she had to admit to any kind of weakness. But she didn’t know what he knew about fear. He smiled widely and laughed when Clarke gave him the death glare for it.

“Clarke,” He began, leaning in closer to her and moving a strand of hair that was too close to her crystal blue eyes. “It doesn’t matter what you’re scared of. What matter’s is what you do about it.”

“I know.” She whispered, looking down at their entwined hands, struggling with something inside her. Something between her fathers advice and her place of authority here… still trying to piece together how it all fit together. But he knew her, and he knew she would.

He lifted a hand to her cheek in an effort to get her to look at him. When she did she looked vulnerable; and he was so happy in that moment to know her like this, to be her person she could share her worries with the same way he could.

“I’m just trying to be brave.”

He couldn’t even fathom.

“You are so brave Clarke. You are so strong. And so determined.” He paused to kiss her quickly; He couldn’t help it, it was like the energy between them was pulling at him. “Anything that happens, we’ll do it together.” He waited for her nod, and when it came, eased and relaxed, he kissed her more deeply. He kissed her until there was a heat breaking loose in him, and in her too.

She leaned forward, resting her arms around his shoulders and grabbing ahold of his dark curls at the base of his neck.

“You know,” He breathed in between open mouthed kisses, unable to help bugging her a little. “You _could_ just stay here if you really wanted to.”

The hard shove against his chest as she moved her lips to his neck was _just_ the response he’d been hoping for. He let out a laugh and leaned back just enough to look at her again. Of course he didn’t want her in harms way, and part of him feared that’s exactly what would happen. But he knew she was strong, knew she could handle anything.

“Just thought I’d offer…” He chuckled teasingly.

“How about you shut up instead, and help ease my nerves?” She spoke lowly, eyes half shut looking down at him. _Holy God._

“Now that, I can do.” He promised. But as she kissed his neck and raked her hands through his hair, he felt he had to be truly honest.

“I am scared though.” He breathed. She pulled away and looked down on him, as he looked up at her through the short blonde hair surrounding her face.

“What?” She whispered sweetly.

“I’m scared too, Clarke. I’m scared of finding them. I’m scared of what will happen… But mostly…” He tried to make air touch his lungs, feeling like he was suffocating a little. “I’m scared of losing you.” He whispered to her.

A small smile spread onto her face, one that he never grew tired of seeing, and didn’t think he ever would.

“Yu na’t drop of ai.” _You can’t lose me.  _Her voice sank into him like a knife that didn’t sting. “Oso keryon ste teina, mema in?” _Our souls are entwined, remember?  _A small laugh escaped both of them at the same time, and all at once she was kissing him again, her tongue meeting his bottom lip with a purpose now, sending a sensation down to his gut that he couldn’t ignore. But that wasn’t all.

Something in his soul was screaming at him, it was like a strange language, something he hadn’t felt or known before. It was such a strong feeling surging through him; Stronger then the day they were bound together; stronger than any day since. It was overpowering and subtle all at the same time, this feeling – burning its way through his chest and his limbs, all the way up to the front of his mind as he pulled her in closer. He pulled at her shirt as she pulled at his, until finally they broke apart for long enough to strip themselves, before their overheated skin was on each other’s again.

His hands touched every inch of her back, her ribs, her chest, taking in everything he could. His lips didn’t stay on hers for long before they made their way down her neck and chest, stopping there to pull her hard nipples into his mouth. Her head was strewn back, her fingers still tangled in the curls at the base of his neck, his knees still planted firmly on the ground between her legs. He kept moving down while her breath got heavier and more staggered.

Sitting back so he was a little lower, he tore his lips away from the warmth of her skin to pull the fabric away from her legs. Ripped, was probably more accurate.

She didn’t hesitate when her legs fell open, and he didn’t hesitate putting his mouth exactly where he knew she wanted it. She was dripping. That with the combination of her responding gasp made the front of his pants impossibly tighter. His hands grabbed the side of her thighs hard, steadying her legs that were already threatening to clamp around his head as he licked her.  
“There is no taste better than this,” He practically growled, “better than _you_.”

She moaned in response, her hands clasping onto his shoulders now and fingers digging into them as if they were the only things keeping her there.

He sucked on her most sensitive part, eliciting something like a yell from the mouth of his princess. He looked up at her; eyes closed, mouth open, hair down, and he worked his mouth harder into her, getting her exactly where she needed to be to release.

She was barely even back down from the high before he picked her up off the couch, her lazy kisses still insistent on his chest as he carried her over to their bed.

He laid her down easy, and she was eager to pull him on top of herself for more.

“More.” She demanded in a breathy whisper.

“Don’t worry, Princess.” He smiled crooked, “I’m not done with you yet.” His voice came out in a growl, and he was sure – even though she’d never admit it – that she loved it when he smirked at her like this.

He all but jumped on top of her, grabbing her sides and enjoying the giggles erupting from her chest; _Good._ She had said, and it was. This was so good. As her hands took a turn exploring him, he knew it was good. Sex was never like this before. It was never fun, it was never so passionate, it never made his heart feel like it was going to explode out of his chest.

Her small hands found him, hard and throbbing, and to his utter relief his pants were finally undone: his shaft springing free to meet her warm hand that wasted no time pumping it.

The reciprocating groan was louder than he’d meant it to be.

He kicked his pants all the way off and basked in the feeling, but he didn’t let her continue for long before he was on top of her again and fully intending to take control.

“Come on,” She breathed from beneath him, her hands reaching for him again. They didn’t make it there. He grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head, giving a taunting and dominant _tsk_ while she struggled. He watched as comprehension struck her, her stern face melting into a devious little smile that could make him weak… it could, but tonight it didn’t.

“Are you going to be good for me?” He murmured above her, the moonlight allowing him to see her attempt at composing her features.

“What if I’m not?” She tried and failed to keep the smile off her face.

_Holy fuck._ His dick got impossibly harder.

“If you don’t listen, you deal with the consequence.” He explained while his hand releasing hers to stroke at the hard and sensitive bud on her perfect chest.

“I always win.” She said confidently, using her free hand to reach for him now.

He pinched hard at her nipple, and she gasped, free hand abandoning it’s mission and coming to cover his hand instead. Her wide eyes met his, and they had a crazy, wild look behind them.

He took the moment to move closer, his hard dick pressing into her soaking wet heat. Her wide eyes went from shocked to pleased to shut in a moment. He smiled to himself and saw the corner of her mouth twitch up as she tried to prevent the same thing.

“Are you going to be good for me now, Clarke?”

Her eyes opened slowly, her hips rolling up to meet his just slightly in search for some friction. She seemed to be contemplating in her head; he could practically see the wheels spinning.

“Yes, Bellamy.” She breathed, trying to withhold a giggle. “I’ll be good for you.”

Slowly but surely she moved her hand back up to its place above her head, and he rubbed against her even more then.

She was just about losing it.

“Bellamy.” Her voice sounded desperate, a little hostile as she attempted to grind up into him.

“Ask nicely.” He growled, not sure how much longer he could withhold either.

“Please?” Her voice somehow managed to sound so innocent and so fucking filthy all at the same time. How did she do that?

He finally broke and pushed all the way into her. It was so easy, she was _so_ wet for him. He wasn’t sure who was making what noise after that, it was completely animal… they were all but ripping each other’s skin apart. She was wild underneath him, but also tame in a way. He moved her leg’s up, she let him. He placed her hand on her nipple, and she knew what to do. Her body was getting tense, his too. The anticipation had been too much, and everything was building up. He was pounding into her, examining her body that he knew so well now. His thumb came down to press strong circles into her clit, and she was tumbling over the edge in seconds, her orgasm strong and powerful, coursing through her like it owned her.

He couldn’t hold off anymore, watching her fall apart beneath him, _because_ of him.

He thrust a few more times before burying himself deep inside her and letting himself unravel. This is what _she_ did to him. Maybe she was the one with the control after all.

“Damnit.” He breathed, pulling out of her as she opened her eyes for the first time since her orgasm and falling onto the bed beside her.

“What?” She asked, actually sounding a bit worried.

He looked at those beautiful eyes. Her beautiful skin glistening in the bluish moonlight, and he couldn’t help but let out something close to a chuckle.

“You always win.” He admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you thought! Every comment gives me life and a will to go on, tbh. What can I say... I'm garbage.


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